My Beautiful Little Girl
by RachelF
Summary: A Ronnie and Danielle Aftermath Fic - reviews much appreciated! I've been writing this for a while, so I have about half written already, but I think now is the time to share it with everyone!
1. Chapter 1

"I'm so sorry if I've hurt you in some way Danielle". Ronnie wasn't really sure what she was apologising for; but she was tired, she had no energy left to argue with this silly little girl, this child who had somehow forced her way into her life. She had followed her for months, draining her, a constant, niggling reminder in the back of her mind of something she did not have. Something she would never have again.

If anyone should be apologising, it should surely be Danielle. Apologising for being that reminder; for throwing her 19-year old existence in her face so forcefully. She didn't realise what she doing, of course. But should that really matter?

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about Ronnie". Danielle was shouting now. Her eyes were wild. Ronnie approached her cautiously; she was worried for her niece who was nestled within Danielle's cradling arms. Holding her own arms towards the baby she tried to reason with Danielle, almost sure her efforts would be in vein.

"Amy is not your child, Danielle. I've tried to help you, but you need to leave now. This is an important day for this family".

_An important day for this family_, Ronnie's harsh words rang in Danielle's ears. She tried to back away, but her impulse was to move closer, to shout at Ronnie again and again; to tell her exactly how angry she made her feel. To tell her that she hated her, but most of all, to tell her that she loved her with all of her heart and mind. But she just couldn't.

Instead, she tried to shout the words "You're sick. Just sick". But her voice stuck in her throat; she choked and her body shook violently.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Danielle". As if mirroring Danielle, Ronnie shook with utter rage. What was this girl talking about? Why would she not just leave her alone? What had happened to her? These questions and so many more ran through Ronnie's mind. She wondered why she was so bothered; this girl clearly had nothing but hatred for her.

"Don't lie. He told you. He said he you knew". Danielle no longer had a problem with her voice. With each sentence she grew louder and moved closer and closer to her mother. She finished within inches of Ronnie, looking up into the face she had imagined and revered for so long. And all for nothing.

"Grandad said he told you", she claimed, broken. She went no further. It was up Ronnie to admit everything. To admit that after all this chasing, all of this waiting to talk, that it was her, Ronnie, who had been in the wrong. All Danielle wanted was acceptance, but that was exactly what Ronnie did not seem to want to give her.

"Told me what", Ronnie demanded, at the end of her tether. Danielle gasped. She could not believe this outright denial. She knew Ronnie could be closed, but she had no idea that she could be so cold towards her own family, her own daughter. Family was everything to the Mitchells, wasn't it?

"That you're my mother". Danielle spoke the words as if she was being sick, as if they were a toxin to be got rid of.

Ronnie looked across the room at her father. She stood up as she began to speak; after all that had happened between them, she knew these words would only go a small way towards healing their fractured relationship. She knew it would take effort on his side as well as hers, but after the scene upstairs just moments before, a bit of stability was everything she needed. A stable family around her was everything. So she thanked Archie, first and foremost for being her father, despite their differences.

She knew it was time for those differences to be laid to rest. Her daughter was lost so long ago – it was time to move on. This confrontation with Danielle showed her that. In truth, she had wanted so badly to believe Danielle. But, of course, she couldn't. Danielle was just a delusional child, in need of help. Serious help, and she wasn't going to get that help from Ronnie. Archie knew that, Ronnie knew that; now Danielle knew that as well.

Roxy passed a champagne glass across the room to her sister, who raised it in a toast to her father and her aunty. This was her family now, she needed to concentrate on them. Lifting the glass to her mouth she shut her eyes and prepared to swallow.


	2. Chapter 2

All around her Ronnie could hear only noise; fuzzy, white noise. Removing the champagne glass from her mouth she looked into it and saw within the very last thing she had been expecting. She tipped it upside down, the remaining champagne dripping onto the floor, before a small metal object followed it into her hand. She clutched the object instinctively; she knew it straight away to be a locket.

Ronnie wanted the locket so badly to be the very item Danielle had claimed, to be the keepsake she has given to her own daughter years before; the locket she saw in her dreams, hung around the neck of a small, blonde child. Her own child. She saw the child in happy dreams sometimes, running towards her smiling and jumping into her arms, but more often in her nightmares. Here, the child lay dead on a slab, the locket hanging limp around her cold, white neck. Her child was dead after all, or so she had thought. So Archie had told her.

Pain and anger rose inside Ronnie like boiling, scolding water. She looked over at Archie who had his eyes fixed on her, as if warning her not to speak. It felt to Ronnie like they were the only two people in the room. His eyes, like hers, were wide, full of emotion – they spoke of fear, loathing, or perhaps, Ronnie thought, regret. She shook her head; Archie couldn't have done this, he surely could not gone this far.

"She's my daughter", she choked. As Ronnie played out the underfolding reality her body shook once again, but this time in disbelief. It felt like she was mourning a child who was still alive. A child she had been mourning for so many years. But she wasn't dead; and yet, she still felt out of reach.

"You knew she was my daughter. And you didn't tell me", Ronnie screamed across the room at her father. People were looking now; as secrets and lies began to fall into place for Ronnie, eyes moved between her and Archie, desperate to know what had happened; desperate to understand how this related to Danielle's outburst.

"You lied to me. You told me she was DEAD".

All at once Ronnie knew what she had to do. Her daughter, her Amy, her Danielle was outside in the cold, where she had thrown her, hard, onto the concrete. Ronnie shuddered; her own words to Danielle cut like a knife through her heart – "who would want a daughter like you?"

She could only imagine how they had made Danielle feel. What had she done to her daughter?

X x X

Danielle's feet pounded the pavement, in sync with her tears, which pounded her cheeks. Various figures in the square saw her running, but she blocked out their shouts; in a moment, she could hear nothing but her own breathing, the thoughts in her own mind. She sniffed loudly as she moved, wiping her hand across her face and rubbing her red, swollen eyes. What could she do now? Her whole life for the past seven months had been building up to this; but this was not what she had seen in her dreams.

She had seen the joyful realisation in Ronnie's eyes that Danielle really was her daughter, the daughter that she longed for. She had seen Ronnie smiling at her, holding her arms out for her to run towards. But now Danielle knew these visions were just that; they were dreams. In reality, Ronnie didn't want to know her, Ronnie simply did not care. Danielle's life was no longer worth living.

Danielle didn't know where she was running to, she had no real plan. Her only aim was to put as much distance as possible between her and the Vic, between her and her so-called 'mother', whatever it took.

As she continued her blind route along the pavement, Danielle heard the screech of a car, no doubt travelling too fast for the streets of Walford. She saw the head lamps rounding a nearby corner; saw the face of the driver.

And in a moment she had thrown herself into the road, in front of the oncoming car. The car collided brutally with Danielle's body and as she flew through the air she felt pain like nothing she had ever felt before. But she also felt relief. This was it, this was truly the end. She would feel pain no longer – Ronnie could not hurt her any more.


	3. Chapter 3

As Ronnie ran from the Vic she shouted, first blindly, wishing and hoping that her daughter would hear and answer her. Then she saw a figure in a white dress running, faster than she was.

"Danielle? Danielle, please, stop", Ronnie shouted with a tearful longing. It was as if Danielle couldn't hear her, or didn't want to. Maybe she wasn't running fast enough, Ronnie thought, or shouting loud enough. She had trusted Archie, and he had stamped all over her, like an insect beneath his foot. Now she needed to give everything – every mental, physical and emotional facet of her body - to get her daughter back.

As she watched Danielle round a corner in front of her a cruel, crunching sound filled the night air like nothing Ronnie had ever heard before. It was a car screeching to a halt, and it had hit something, someone. Now she could hear the driver scream and cry. In a moment of dismay, Ronnie sprinted around the corner to see Janine hunched over a small body, strewn across the concrete.

A horrified Janine stared up at Ronnie, "She jumped, Ronnie, right in front of me".

"MOVE", Ronnie screeched at Janine, "Move out of my way". Janine jumped to her feet in immediate response and scampered backwards, shocked at Ronnie's reaction. Her left hand covered her mouth and her right hand held her stomach, as if she was going to be sick.

"She jumped" she kept repeating, "I couldn't stop, I didn't she her".

Ignoring Janine's whimpers, Ronnie knelt down beside Danielle's body, beside the body of her daughter. She looked fragile, broken, like a rag-doll. She checked her pulse, which was faint, but still there. Ronnie said a quiet 'thankyou' to no-one in particular, before squeezing her daughter's hand. It was still warm, but the colour in her face was draining rapidly.

"Don't just stand there Janine, call an ambulance" Janine stared at Ronnie, not quite registering what she was saying, still in shock. "She has a pulse Janine, she needs to go to hospital. CALL AN AMBULANCE".

As Janine continued to stare blankly at Ronnie, Roxy, who had followed her sister out of the Vic, rounded the corner that Danielle and then Ronnie had run around just seconds before. She stopped in her tracks at the sight that greeted her. Opening her mouth to speak, she changed her mind, instead making her way towards her sister and the young girl who lay in her arms.

"Ronnie, what's going on? What happened? Dad, he…", Roxy stuttered and then stopped short, shocked by the disgusted look on Ronnie's face.

"That doesn't matter now Rox. I…I need you to ring an ambulance. Now, please", she stared right into her eyes. Ronnie stumbled over the words and a silent tear fell onto her cheek, "Janine hit my daughter. Danielle, she's my daughter. I won't lose her again. I just can't".


	4. Chapter 4

"Calm down miss, please. We need you to move back now. We need some room to work", the paramedic spoke slowly and calmly to Ronnie. While waiting for ambulance she had sat over Danielle's body, shaking like a leaf. Roxy had knelt next to her and held her hand; she had spoken words of encouragement into her ear, but none to any avail. Ronnie was sure she was losing her child again and it was all Janine's fault.

Janine said that Danielle had jumped in front of her car, that she hadn't seen her. That she simply had no time to swerve out of the way. But Ronnie had heard her car – Janine had been going too fast. Janine had no where to run; Danielle had had nowhere to run. It was her fault. It was not Ronnie's fault; Danielle was not here because of her. Ronnie wanted so much to believe that.

"Would you like to come in the ambulance, miss?" The paramedic approached Ronnie with care; she had remained stuck fast to the spot for the past fifteen minutes, looking on intently at her daughter and the medical professionals at work, inconsolable by her younger sister.

She stared at him, astonished. Why did he even need to ask? She was Danielle's mother; of course she was coming in the ambulance.

"Yes, I…Yes", she replied; in reality, she was unable to string any sentence together, never mind assert the astonishment that she had felt at the paramedic's question. In silence, Ronnie watched her daughter being lifted into the vehicle, and then climbed in behind, helped by Roxy.

"She's going to be fine", Roxy told Ronnie, smiling as she let go of the Ronnie's hand that she had held, almost as if this were a life support machine for her sister and in some way, for Danielle.

"She's right you know", the paramedic added, closing the ambulance doors. "She's a fighter, your daughter".

She really was her daughter. The paramedic knew, Roxy knew, she knew. Soon Danielle would know that she loved her. She loved her so very much. Sitting down in the ambulance, Ronnie took Danielle's hand in hers and squeezed it tight. The human contact was everything to Ronnie, but she wanted so much more. She wanted Danielle to hug her tightly, to lie with her head in her lap, for Danielle to look into her eyes and tell her she loved her; she wanted simply to be her mother.

X x x

As Danielle's ambulance left the scene, Janine wandered back and forth, repeating to no-one and anyone who would listen that the 'accident' had not been her fault, that Danielle had jumped. Roxy watched the ambulance with her sister and niece leave; she wasn't sure what to think. Ronnie had said nothing except that it 'wasn't important' what had happened between her and her father; that Danielle was all that mattered now, that she truly was her daughter. She sighed loudly, still ignoring Janine's ramblings.

Turning back to walk towards the pub, not sure what she should do now, Roxy saw Stacey running towards her. She breathed a sharp breath inwards and cursed silently, not in the mood for a run in with the girl.

"Where's she gone, Roxy", Stacey shouted at her, "Where's Danielle. Where's Ronnie? I told her not to bother with her. I told her it'd be bad news".

Roxy walked straight past Stacey, trying with all her steely might not to acknowledge her slurred shouts.

"Tell me, Roxy. This ain't funny. Charlie told me what happened in the Vic", Stacey turned and began to follow close behind Roxy, who now sped up in an effort to put distance between herself and a clearly drunken Stacey Slater.

"Where are you going? Don't walk away from me! Danielle doesn't deserve this treatment you know"

Roxy stopped on the spot and turned towards Stacey, who swaggered and came to halt.

"Listening to me now, are you?" Stacey asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That would make a change, a Mitchell listening to another human being".

"Look, Stace…", Roxy replied, refusing to listen to any more of Stacey's accusations, "if you must know, Ronnie and Danielle are both in an ambulance. Danielle was hit by a car, Ronnie stayed with her, held her hand. Maybe, instead of standing here shouting at me, you should shut up, sober up and get yourself down to the hospital to see your friend".

Stacey stared at Roxy in disbelief, "She's what? What did Ronnie do?"

"_Ronnie_ did nothing. Except help. I'm sure Danielle would appreciate some from you as well".

Stacey didn't reply this time. Her best friend had been hit by a car; she had been right behind her, but she should've been there to help. If she hadn't had so much to drink maybe she would've been able to get there more quickly.

This family, this woman who Danielle loved so much had done something awful. Charlie had recounted her cruel words to Danielle, but now she was there with her in the ambulance. Surely that couldn't be what Danielle would want, not now? It seemed so wrong, like a bad joke.

"I'll help her alright", Stacey replied eventually, "I already have. A damn sight more than her 'real' family. If that's what you really are". She almost spat her words at Roxy, before turning on her heels and running back towards her house.


	5. Chapter 5

Ronnie sat in a crowded hospital waiting area, surrounded by patients with black eyes and broken wrists. A young child played with one of the hospital wheelchairs, her mother shouting at her to stop misbehaving, clearly embarrassed and slightly wary of the blonde woman sat shaking next to her.

Ronnie stared at the shiny, lino flooring, clutching a cold cup of coffee in a plastic cup. She had tried to drink it when she arrived, but it had been too sickly sweet. Now, forty-five minutes later she sat in the same chair; no-one had called her through to see Danielle. No-one had come to tell her that she was ok, or God forbid, to bring bad news.

She couldn't even contemplate what she would do if a doctor came through the doors that second to tell her something bad had happened to Danielle, her Danielle. She tried to remove all thoughts of her little girl lain on the road from her head; instead, she imagined the many hours they would now have to spend together, as mother and daughter. She had planned and dreamt all her life, despite believing that her Amy was dead. But now, these dreams may just come true.

But Danielle was just out of reach. The doctors would not even let her through to watch – she was very seriously ill, they had said. And maybe Danielle would not want see her. She had not stopped for her earlier, despite her greatest efforts. Ronnie began to cry, silently. Her hand now shook so much that her coffee spilt onto the floor in front of her.

"You alright love?" The woman with the misbehaving child eyed Ronnie, still wary. Ronnie looked at her, but didn't answer. She turned back to stare at the floor and her coffee sat still once again. But still she could not drink it.

"Ms. Mitchell?" Ronnie heard a voice above her and jumped. She looked up and saw who she presumed to be a hospital receptionist.

"Yes, yes I am. How is Danielle? Can I see her? I need to see her. I need to hold my daughter"

"If you would just follow me, miss", the girl smiled at Ronnie, knowingly.

"Is she ok?" Ronnie demanded. "Please, just tell me she's ok? Where's the doctor? I want talk to someone who treated Danielle"

"If you would just follow me, madam" – the receptionist replied patiently, gesturing towards a swinging pair of doors on the opposite side of the room. Ronnie jumped to her feet and followed, hoping with every fibre of her being that the news to be delivered was good news.

On the other side of the doors a series of windows and doors stood masked by blinds pulled shut for patient privacy. Ronnie wanted so much to be able to see through, to see Danielle, to see her baby alive. A man with a stethoscope hanging around his neck opened the door to one of the rooms and walked towards Ronnie and the receptionist. He held his hand out and greeted Ronnie with a soft smile.

"You must be Danielle's mother? I understand you saw the accident?" He questioned Ronnie.

"Yes, I'm her mother. But I didn't see the accident. I found her, but only seconds later. Please, will you just tell me what's happening? Is she going to be ok?"

"Danielle's body has taken quite a shock, Ms. Mitchell. She has been stabilised, but will need to go to surgery as soon as we can find a theatre"

"I want to see her. I want to see to her now, please?" Ronnie pleaded with the doctor, her eyes wide. This was their moment now. Danielle was stable. That meant Danielle was alive. Her baby was really alive.


	6. Chapter 6

"Please prepare yourself Ms. Mitchell; Danielle is a seriously ill young lady. But you may see her now". The doctor pushed open the door in front of Ronnie slowly, and stepped aside, revealing a darkened room with a single hospital bed to the centre.

Ronnie smiled at the doctor in thanks and walked past him; she scrunched closed her eyes, mentally preparing herself what she was going to see, for the sight of her wounded child. As she opened her eyes once again, she was faced with the slim figure of Danielle lying still in the bed in front of her. The covers were pulled up to her chin, a protective layer from the outside world; her arms lay limp by her side. She had a drip attached to her right arm while a number of other machines beeped on and off, rudely interrupting Danielle's silence. The lights were off in the room, but Ronnie could see a glint of light peeping through the blinds, lighting her daughter's beautiful face and she couldn't help but smile.

Taking a seat next to Danielle, Ronnie lifted her hand into her own, as she had done in the street and then in the ambulance; this time she wanted never to let it go. She rubbed Danielle's hand tenderly against her own cheek, allowing it to linger there for more than a few seconds. All Ronnie had ever wanted was to know her daughter, to know who she was, to know she was alive. Now, even though Danielle lay silent in front of her, even though she was - as the doctor had said - seriously ill, at this moment Ronnie felt closer to everything she wanted than ever before. All she needed was acceptance; she needed Danielle to accept her as mother.

Ronnie's head began to droop. Worried she was now so tired that she could no longer support her own weight she committed Danielle's hand back to the bed, still holding it within her own, and lay her head down on the sheets next to her daughter. Closing her eyes, the image of Danielle lying in the street flashed before her eyes. Ronnie opened her eyes immediately, shocked at the image in her head. She couldn't bear to remember what she had seen when she had rounded that fateful corner only an hour before; how close she had come to losing Danielle. How close she still was to losing her baby for a second time.

Lifting her head once again, Ronnie moved towards the head of the bed, cupping her daughter's pale cheek in her hand. She stroked it tenderly, as if to wipe away her tears.

"I love you, Danielle", she said, simply. Nothing more or less was needed.

As a group of porters arrived to take Danielle to surgery, Ronnie was ushered back into the hospital waiting room, back to the seat she had adorned earlier in the evening. Back to waiting; back to hoping.

Ronnie sat staring at the floor for three painful hours. Each time the door opened on the opposite side of the room her head flicked upward in expectation. Finally a doctor approached Ronnie, offered his hand to help her stand and led her through the waiting room, down the far corridor to a set of lifts. On the fourth floor a door was opened and inside lay Danielle, still adorned with tubes and monitors, but somehow, Ronnie thought, more peaceful than before. Taking her customary seat next to Danielle, Ronnie promised herself she would never leave her baby again.

Every so often Ronnie would lay her head on the bed, but she would not close her eyes, for fear of what she might see. A nurse would come into the room each half an hour to take Danielle's observations; each time she smiled at Ronnie, and the first few times she had attempted words of encouragement but Ronnie could not reply. She could do nothing but wait.

At 7am Ronnie reached into her trouser pocket, and reading the screen, realised that she had 10 missed calls. True to form, the calls were all from Roxy, along with a voicemail – "I'm worried about you Ronnie" she said, "Please let me know what's going on?"

Ronnie smiled; even after everything that had happened between them Roxy did care, even if she sometimes had a funny way of showing it. But Ronnie's smile soon faded as she stared back up into the face of her daughter. Danielle had shown no signs of waking, and each minute that passed felt like an hour.

Noticing the doctor who had treated Danielle walk past the window, Ronnie tore her hand from Danielle's and got to her feet, hoping to catch him. She needed answers. Earlier she had simply wanted to see her daughter; to be in her presence. But now she needed to know what was happening. The doctor, as it happened, had been aiming for Danielle's room, and before Ronnie had the chance to open the door herself, he had done so.

"Doctor, I need…" she began. But then she noticed the tall figure of another man at the doctor's shoulder and she stopped short.


	7. Chapter 7

Ronnie took a sharp intake of breath as the figure of Danielle's adoptive father entered the room. A silent tear fell to his cheek at the sight of Danielle in her hospital bed, but as his eyes scanned the room from his daughter to the tall blonde woman who already stood at her side, his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Who…?", he began, confused. He stared at the doctor, "They said Danielle's mother was with her", he choked. Andy spoke with an air of disgust, "Her mother is dead"

Ronnie stood rooted to the spot, her eyes flitting quickly between Andy and her daughter, who still lay unconscious between them. She didn't know what to say. She just couldn't find the words. What _was_ she doing there?

"You shouldn't be here", Andy continued; he could hardly believe what he was seeing.

Ronnie replied quietly, as if worried about waking Danielle, despite knowing at the back of her mind that this would not happen, but also because she was scared of this man, scared that he might rip Danielle away from beneath her grasp at any second; "I am Danielle's mother", she said, squeezing hold of Danielle's hand again, as if to assert her maternal right over the frail body upon the bed.

"This is not Danielle's mother" Andy's body shook now. "Please, I want her to leave, now" Andy shouted at Ronnie, the shock at seeing Danielle and hearing Ronnie's revelation had clearly got to him, not surprisingly. The doctor, who had been watching cautiously throughout this heated exchange, now interjected.

"Please, sir, madam, Danielle is very ill. This is not a conversation for here" He looked between the pair, his eyes scolding, as if they were two small children.

"What are you doing here? Why were the doctor's talking about Danielle's mother" Andy spoke more calmly now, but still he had so many questions. He understood that he shouldn't be arguing with this woman over Danielle's silent figure, but the confusion he felt coupled with the presence of Danielle's unconscious body upon the bed, was too much to bear.

Ronnie swallowed, "Outside perhaps?" she suggested, pointing towards the door.

Placing a kiss onto her daughter's hand before lowering it onto the bed once again, Ronnie made her way towards the door and followed Andy reluctantly out of the room. She turned to take a final look at Danielle before leaving the room; she had a funny feeling she would not be allowed back in any time soon.

Andy really was Danielle's family; he would have the final word. He had been there for her for years, he had held her in his arms, rocked her back and forth as a baby, taken her to the park, pushed her in a swing. Ronnie had done no such thing; she had been the last person in the world Danielle would want as a mother. Danielle had run away; maybe Danielle had jumped? Maybe she shouldn't be there; maybe it wasn't her right.

Taking a deep breath, Ronnie began to talk; her words rolled quickly, she did not consider the words she was saying before they left her mouth.

"Andy, I'm so sorry you had to find out like this. I love Danielle. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in my life. I…" Ronnie tried to finish her sentence, but Andy had begun to speak himself, and his eyes were wild with anger and fear.

"You do not love Danielle. You don't know Danielle. You know nothing about her. You are not her mother. Her mother is dead".

Ronnie stared at him, dumbfounded.

"I want you to leave, now". Andy turned and opened the door to Danielle's room. His eyes stayed fixed on Ronnie's as he repeated himself one last time.

"Please, just leave us alone. Danielle doesn't need you here" With that, Andy closed the door behind him, leaving a broken Ronnie able simply to stare through the cracks in the blinds. She held her hand to the window, as if reaching out to her daughter, but the glass stood in her way. Something always stood in her way.


	8. Chapter 8

Ronnie's hand slid slowly down the glass in the door to Danielle's hospital room. Andy had turned his head away from Ronnie, as if a final rejection to the woman who claimed to be Danielle's 'mother'. Ronnie could look at the scene no longer; she couldn't bear to watch another human being sitting in the seat next to Danielle; in her seat.

Loosing her balance, Ronnie staggered backwards, turned and ran towards the closest door. She kept running until she could feel the cold, morning mist against her face. Leaning hard against a brick wall her body fell downward, until she sat, clutching her knees, on the cold, hard concrete. Head in hands, shaking uncontrollably now, she began to cry. She had not cried properly since the accident, but now tears streamed down her face in torrents. She cried for her daughter. She cried for herself. She cried at the thought of what her father had done to her, seemingly without a second thought.

After what seemed like an age Ronnie lifted her head from her hands, feeling the soft touch of a hand upon her shoulder. Looking upward she saw the warm, encouraging eyes of her younger sister staring back at her.

"I. Roxy, I…Danielle…" Ronnie couldn't finish, but Roxy put her finger to her lips, as if to reassure her that it didn't matter. Kneeling down to the floor beside her older sister, Roxy put her arm around Ronnie's shoulders and pulled her close. Ronnie did not move her arms to return the embrace, but Roxy held tight nevertheless.

"What are we going to with you?" Roxy asked. She turned her head in an attempt to look into Ronnie's eyes, but they were fixed on the ground. She had no idea what had happened, but it clearly wasn't good news.

"You need to get some sleep, Ron" Roxy said, finally "It's not doing you any good to be sat out here in the cold now, is it?"

"I can't leave" Ronnie replied, breaking her silence "I can't leave her alone"

Roxy sighed, undeniably confused by the situation.

"He won't let me see her, Rox. Danielle's dad, he…" Ronnie looked at Roxy like a lost child, before burying her head in her hands once again. Roxy stroked her sister's back, letting her weep.

Looking up, Roxy saw a familiar figure walking towards the door to the hospital. Lost in her own little world, Ronnie did not see Stacey approach, so Roxy waved her past them, into the hospital. Now wasn't the time to get involved in a conversation with Stacey; that she knew without question.

xxx

Approaching the door to Danielle's room, Stacey gulped. She had spent the night tossing and turning in her bed, but she knew that she had to sober up before seeing Danielle. That, at least, she owed her best friend. She had been thrown by seeing Ronnie in Roxy's arms outside the hospital, but knew it wasn't the time to probe there any further.

Knocking faintly on the door, Stacey watched a man jump to his feet; a strange reaction to a simple knock, Stacey thought, but she did not question him. Danielle's adoptive father, she presumed; he had clearly been through a lot that night. Seeing who it was at the door, or who it wasn't, Andy beckoned Stacey into the room.

"Is she ok? She's gonna be ok, right?" Stacey moved cautiously towards the bed, coming to a stop opposite Andy. Andy didn't answer.

"She's a strong girl. She'll make it. I know she will" Stacey wasn't very good at this kind of thing, but she chose her words unusually carefully, and Andy didn't seem to react.

"Come on Dan, this isn't like you, is it? So quiet", this time Andy looked up at Stacey and smiled.

"Do you want some time with her? She probably doesn't want her dad here while she's talking to her friends, right?" Stacey raised her eyebrows, but allowed herself a smile as she watched Andy make his way to the door and close it behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Stacey questioned the silent, still body, taking Danielle's hand into hers.

"You don't need that Ronnie Mitchell. I told you that you didn't need the Mitchell's" she sighed, "Now look at you".

As if reacting to what she had heard, Stacey suddenly felt a soft, but definite squeeze from Danielle's hand.

"OMG Danielle" Stacey jumped to her feet, squeezing the hand as if in reply. Staring down at Danielle, Stacey watched as her eyes flickered open; first the left, then the right. Stacey beamed at her friend.

"Welcome back, Dan. You gave me such a fright". She grinned, before jumping to her feet and running to the door, raising the attention of Danielle's father who hadn't gone far, and of any hospital staff she could find.


	9. Chapter 9

Danielle could hear something. She didn't know what or who, but she could definitely hear something. She had no idea where she was, but as Danielle tried to move her left hand she felt a shockwave of pain envelope her body; what had happened to her? What was going on?

Opening her left eye, ever so slowly and with the utmost caution, Danielle was met with a bright light ahead of her, and immediately closed it again. She could still hear the voice speaking again; it was Stacey's. She had raised her voice now. _OMG, Danielle_ she said.

Suddenly, as if watching the previous day's events on film, Danielle saw a car rounding a corner ahead of her; she saw her own body fly in front of the car; she saw the car hit her, head on, at full speed. Winding back to earlier in the evening, Danielle saw herself in the Vic, she saw shouting and screaming; herself and Ronnie. Ronnie Mitchell.

Danielle felt sick.

_Welcome back, Dan_, Stacey's voice said now. Danielle peeped through her right eye this time and saw Stacey staring intently into her eyes. She had a huge grin across her face, and Danielle wondered what there was to be so happy about. Danielle knew now why she had seen the car careering towards her; she had wanted to die.

Slowly, Danielle opened her left eye and surveying the room, discovered that it was empty, apart from her and her best friend. She didn't know what else she had been expecting. Who else would have been there? Who else really cared? Certainly not Ronnie Mitchell.

"Stacey" Danielle said, as if to check that she wasn't dreaming. A tear fell to her cheek; at least there was one person in the world who cared about her.

"Oh, Danielle! What happened to you? I was so worried"

Danielle didn't know what to say. How much did Stacey know? Everything, probably, she thought. It didn't take long for news to travel around the square, and Ronnie had been pretty vocal about the way she really felt. Tear after tear fell, as Danielle silently cursed her mother. The mother she hated so much, but the mother that she still loved and longed for just as much.

At that moment the tall figure of Danielle's father appeared at the doorway, and she watched as he realised what he was seeing and his face lit up. He ran to Danielle's bedside and planted a gentle kiss onto her forehead.

"My beautiful girl" he said, simply.

It had taken Roxy another half hour after Stacey's appearance to persuade Ronnie to move from her position, cradled in her younger sister's arms, rocking back and forth on the pavement outside the hospital. Roxy realised that they had become not only an inconvenience to passers by, but also a source of entertainment. Not wanting Ronnie to have anything more to worry about, she finally managed to get her to her feet, guiding her through the swinging hospital doors, into the warm once again.

Placing Ronnie back into a plastic chair in the hospital waiting room, Roxy went to the nearest vending machine and purchased two coffees. Sitting down next to Ronnie she prised the plastic cup into her hand, and cooed words of encouragement in her ear.

"Get this down you, Ron. You look so pale. I think you need it"

Ronnie hadn't said a word for a while now. She had no words. She didn't know why she was still there; Andy didn't want her anywhere near Danielle. She had not planned for this; in truth, she hadn't planned anything after Danielle's accident, but this eventuality was the last thing she had expected. After realising who Danielle was, she had wanted never to leave her side again, and now here she was and Danielle was alone again.

"Maybe we should get you home, Ronnie. I really think you need…" Roxy babbled on, not noticing the changing look on Ronnie's face. Ronnie finally piped up.

"I've told you Roxy, I'm not going anywhere. I know Danielle will wake up soon. And when she does I'll be able to speak to her. Tell her that I love her and will never leave again" Ronnie took a deep breath, and finished, "If I'm not here when she wakes up, she'll never forgive me."

Roxy grabbed her sister and turning her towards her, wrapped her once again in a warm embrace.

"I need her Roxy", Ronnie wept into Roxy's shoulder. "I've never loved anyone so much. As soon as I knew, I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to hold her. I…"

"Shush, Ron. All those things, they WILL happen, you wait and see". Roxy prayed a silent prayer; truthfully she had no idea what was going to happen. She hoped Danielle would wake. She hoped Danielle's father would see sense, or at least, would find it in his heart to speak to Ronnie, let her explain what was going on. She hoped Danielle would forgive Ronnie. But she knew none of these things with certainty, and certainty was what Ronnie needed.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been just moments since Danielle had awoken from her unconscious state, but already various doctors and nurses had filled the room; one took Danielle's pulse, another tended to a machine at her right shoulder, writing a measurement down on a piece of paper at the end of the bed as they did so. Andy and Stacey were forced to step away from their perches at the side of the bed, now backing closer and closer to the door, but keeping their eyes fixed on Danielle's newly revived body. They looked on without any words and Danielle said nothing herself, except answering 'yes' and 'no' to questions as and when asked.

After what seemed like years, the final doctor left the room, having instructed Stacey and Andy that he would be back to check on Danielle shortly, but that they would soon need to leave her to get some rest. Stacey wondered why on earth someone who had just woken from unconsciousness would need any more rest, but she kept her thoughts to herself. An awkward silence fell between the trio, as Stacey and Andy moved back towards their seats, willing Danielle to say something – neither felt comfortable pushing her to speak if she didn't feel able to.

"Dad" Danielle spoke, eventually, after a few difficult moments of silence, "Is it ok if I speak to Stacey for a minute? Alone?" She smiled weakly at him, hoping he wouldn't be too offended.

Andy smiled, told her that of course that was fine and left the room, albeit a little reluctantly. After he had gone, Danielle looked up at Stacey and gulped. Her eyes widened with fear – she knew Stacey would want answers. But, she didn't really have any answers.

"I was so worried Dan, don't you ever do that again ok?" Stacey ordered her friend.

"I won't" Danielle replied sheepishly "I made such a big mistake. I should never have thought…" She couldn't finish her sentence, but Stacey knew exactly what was coming.

"Look, Dan. I heard what happened; I know what Ronnie said to you. You don't need her", she smiled at Danielle, "In fact, I've got a good mind to go and tell the woman that myself, right now", she waved emphatically towards the door, before jumping to her feet, but seeing the look on Danielle's face, sat back down again slowly.

"What do you mean, right now?" Danielle probed.

"Well, she's right outside, ain't she. She's got that sister of hers out there too. She's in a right state. Quite right too, I say"

Danielle's heart began to beat faster. Ronnie was in the hospital, she was right outside. What was she doing here? The last she'd heard Ronnie hated her, never wanted to see her again. _Who'd want a daughter like you?_, she had said.

"Look, don't worry Danielle. She can't hurt you anymore. I won't let her", Stacey was annoyed with herself for bringing up Ronnie, clearly the last thing Danielle wanted to think about. _How stupid am I_, she thought to herself, _why do I always say the wrong thing?_

"What's she doing here, Stace?" Danielle dissolved; she didn't know what to think anymore. Ronnie was the first and last person she wanted to see. Had Ronnie been in the room when she woke up she would've been both the happiest person in the world and yet the most angry. But, of course, she hadn't been there.

"I dunno Danielle" Stacey said, shaking her head. She couldn't think of anything more to say, anything that would suffice. In truth, she didn't know what Ronnie was doing. Roxy had said she'd been there after the accident, but Danielle clearly couldn't remember that. All she knew was the report Charlie had given her about the fiasco in the Vic, and that was all she needed to know. Ronnie was the last person she wanted Danielle to see. But Danielle loved her so much. At least, she had done.

Stacey softened slightly, "Look Dan, Ronnie stayed with you after the accident. At least, that's what Roxy told me. She went with you in the ambulance. But, I dunno what she's doing out there now"

Danielle was shocked; what had Ronnie been doing in the ambulance with her? Why would someone who hated her so much want to come with her to hospital? Maybe, just maybe…

But, if she had come with her, where was she now? Where was she when it really mattered? _Somewhere else_, Danielle thought to herself, thinking about something else, like she always had been. Always would be, no doubt.

But Danielle knew she had no choice.

"Will you talk to her for me Stace, if she's still here?" If Ronnie was outside she would have to face her eventually. Maybe this was the right time – Danielle knew what she had to do.

"Will you bring her here? I want to see her. I need to talk to her"


	11. Chapter 11

It was now 8 o'clock in the morning and as the sun rose, the hospital waiting room had begun to fill up again. Ronnie, having retained the same uncomfortable seat on and off all night, now sat hand in hand with her Roxy, staring into the empty space ahead of her. Neither had said anything for at least fifteen minutes, both preferring to sip quietly on their coffees instead of attempting idle small talk. It wasn't often that they had little to say to each other, but now Roxy – although, not for want of trying - could think of no more to say to make things easier for Ronnie, and her sister simply could not translate thoughts into words.

Roxy had suggested, the last time she had spoken, that it would be a good idea for them to be getting home, to be getting some sleep, but Ronnie had been adamant that she was not leaving until she had spoken to Danielle. But, Roxy knew it was becoming less and less likely that they would be seeing or speaking to anyone any time soon, and even so, she wasn't sure that Ronnie was in a state to be talking to her daughter, whether she was awake or not. In fact, she thought, Ronnie wouldn't be awake herself for much longer. Not even stagnant vending machine coffee could sustain someone for this length of time, especially someone in Ronnie's fragile state.

As if in reply to this thought, Ronnie lay her head down on her sister's shoulder and Roxy stroked her hair, sighing. This time, without a word, she grabbed hold of Ronnie and pulled her to her feet, supporting her weight. A fatigued, defeated Ronnie could no longer put up a fight, so Roxy led her out of the door, raising her hand to a taxi driver on the other side of the road. They watched as the driver did a three point turn, before pulling up at the pavement's edge.

"Where to girls?"

"Queen Victoria, Albert Square, please mate" Roxy replied, opening the taxi door. She continued to support Ronnie, who did not look back towards the hospital as she climbed into the car, but a second later both were forced to turn their head's quickly when a familiar voice rang out from just inside the hospital entrance.

"ROXY" Stacey shouted, breathless as she ran towards the doors. Catching Roxy's eyes, she stopped running; satisfied she had done her duty for Danielle. Roxy's eyes rolled back in her head; this was the last thing they needed.

"What's she doing here, Rox?" Ronnie questioned, surprised at what she was seeing "I didn't see anyone else arrive"

"Don't worry Ron, I'll get rid of her" She smiled at Ronnie and then at the taxi driver "One minute, please?"

Just inside the hospital doors Roxy spoke to Stacey, a look of exasperation now evident on her face, "Look, Stacey. I've told you already. We don't need this right now"

She lowered her voice, "Ronnie is _not_ in a good way, yeah?"

"Danielle isn't in a very good way either, is she? No thanks to her" Stacey eyed the stationary taxi. She hadn't intended to start a fight with Roxy, but somehow just speaking to her she had begun to get aggravated. It was something about the Mitchell sisters, trouble followed them around, and Stacey wasn't about to let them harm Danielle, whether she wanted to see Ronnie or not.

"I've already told you, all she did was try to help. She did what any mother would do. Danielle is her daughter, Stacey", Roxy edged closer to Danielle's teenage friend, holding her finger up to Stacey's face in Ronnie's defence.

"Yeah, I know" Stacey replied, sternly, batting Roxy's finger out of the way, "And for some reason – no idea why, if you ask me - Danielle wants to see her".

Roxy opened her mouth wide; she was shocked "Danielle said what? Danielle's awake?"

"Yeah, she's awake. And she asked for your sister", Stacey was still somewhat reluctant to be helping the Mitchell sisters, but she continued un enthusiastically and in a voice drenched with sarcasm, "I don't know where you two are going, but I think you better re-think your plans, cos for some unknown reason Ronnie's the only person Danielle wants to see" This time it was Stacey's turn to roll her eyes as she finished her little speech; _this is_ _madness_, she thought.

Saying nothing in reply, not wanting to give Stacey the satisfaction of thinking she'd got one over on her for being the person to deliver this news, Roxy turned and made her way back towards the taxi. Stacey watched her open the door and shut it behind her. Inside, Roxy took hold of her sister's hand and pressed a soft kiss against it.

"It's time, Ronnie" she smiled "It's time to see your daughter again"

"Wha…what?"Ronnie stuttered, beginning to tremble; she stared into her sister's eyes. Roxy's smile grew wider.

"She's awake, Ron. She asked for you. She wants to see you"


	12. Chapter 12

Here you are guys, I guess this is what you've been waiting for – almost. Hope you're enjoying this read. I'm halfway through completing my finals, so updates will be a bit few and far between, but it's been good to take revision breaks to write this and post! Reviews still much appreciated, whether you're enjoying or not. Ideas as to where the story might be taken would also be great. I've written up to chapter 30 (lots of revision breaks) so I have various ideas, but they can always be altered. Enjoy x x

X

Roxy led her sister back through the hospital waiting room, repeating a pattern now well known to an exhausted Ronnie, with Stacey following close behind them. She had no idea what Danielle was going to say, she hadn't let on, but she was pretty sure that this encounter would be easy for neither her best friend, nor the woman in front of her, who shook visibly as she made her way towards the fourth floor.

Unsure what to think, Ronnie tried not to get her hopes up. Danielle's father had turned her away mere hours before. Even if Danielle did want to see her, she was preparing herself for the worst. After all, she deserved only the worst, because the worst treatment is exactly what she had given Danielle. It made Ronnie sick with self-hatred to think of the words that she had used to describe her own daughter.

As she had expected, Andy still sat in the seat next to Danielle, and it was no easier now than it had been before to see him there. But, this time Ronnie had a chance. She took a deep breath as she knocked on the door to her daughter's hospital room and felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster as Andy made his way towards her; she could just about make out Danielle's frail figure upon the bed, she did not look upwards. Andy did not look at Ronnie as he passed out of the door, preferring simply to walk past, ignoring this addition to Danielle's life. He could not bear to imagine the effect Ronnie must have had on Danielle – all he knew was that Ronnie was deeply entrenched in his daughter's troubles. He wanted so much to send her away again, but if this was what Danielle wanted, he knew that he had to allow it.

The sight that greeted Ronnie as she entered Danielle's room was similar to that she had seen earlier in the day. Danielle lay still on the bed, the room dark, lit only by shards of light. Monitors and machines filled the room, a drip attached to Danielle's arm. But this time her eyes were wide open. But Danielle stared down at the bed, her eyes fixated on the covers still pulled up to her chin, as if it would be a chore to lift her head upwards; but she knew as soon as Ronnie had entered the room as her heart began to beat within her chest so quickly that she was sure Ronnie would be able to hear.

Ronnie could not have reached the bed more quickly, her own heartbeat mirroring the speed at which Danielle's raced. Slowly, attempting to calm herself mentally by repeating Roxy's encouraging words to herself in her head, she reached out to her daughter and stroked her cheek, lifting her chin gently towards her until their eyes met. Danielle made no attempt to acknowledge the gesture, but for now, she remained calm.

The moment had come for Ronnie to tell Danielle every thought, every dream that she had had for the past nineteen years, but as she looked into her daughter's eyes, empty and broken, she knew that no human words would suffice. Nothing could make up for the things she had said and done. Finally, speaking the only words that meant anything to her at that moment, and hoping beyond hope that they would mean something to Danielle as well, Ronnie spoke.

"I love you Danielle, my beautiful little girl".


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm so sorry Danielle. You have to believe me" Ronnie didn't stop speaking; now she had started she couldn't stop. As she took a seat next to her daughter she began to survey Danielle's body, trying to take in every part, every limb, every curve, with a sweeping glance. She wanted to know everything about her daughter. The urge to take Danielle's body into her arms was almost too much for Ronnie to contain, but a small voice in her head told her that Danielle was just not ready. And maybe, neither was she.

Danielle didn't reply, so Ronnie carried on, "If I'd have known who you were I would never have said those things. Please, Danielle, I want you to know that I love you. I love you so, so much. I will always be here. Always"

Danielle remained silent. She continued to let her mother speak, but as Ronnie lifted her other hand to Danielle's cheek, she suddenly pulled back from her touch, as if she had received an electric shock. Danielle was shocked at the way she suddenly couldn't bear Ronnie touching her skin any longer, but having both of Ronnie's hands clutching at her cheeks just felt too much. She couldn't let Ronnie get this close to her, just to have everything ripped away again. She couldn't get carried away.

Danielle wanted so much to tell Ronnie that she loved her as well. That she loved her more than anyone else in the world and wanted her to sit by her side forever. But she could not forget the reason she was there; the reason she was in the hospital in the first place, the reason they were finally meeting like this.

Ronnie. It was Ronnie's fault.

Ronnie was thrown by Danielle's hostile reaction. She hadn't expected a red carpet, but she thought, just maybe, Danielle would have something to say to her. But Danielle had said nothing, and now she pulled away, as if revolted by Ronnie's touch.

"Oh, Danielle" Ronnie moved both of hers hand away reluctantly and lifted her left hand to her own mouth. She wanted to cry out to her daughter, but had to cover her mouth to stifle the urge. She began to weep, steadily the tears fell to her cheek; the pair sat together like this for more than few minutes, silently but for intermittent sobs.

After minutes of silent tears from both mother and daughter, finally Ronnie spoke up – she didn't want to push Danielle, but the silence was just too much. "Please, I need you to believe me", she repeated, certain now that she sounded quite desperate, her voice trembling.

Danielle pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging them tightly. She resisted the urge to bury her head into them as she finally spoke her first words to Ronnie, to her mother. Her voice was small, weak, shaky.

"I can't", she cried. She coughed the words up, as if they stung her throat. She had begun to regret asking to see Ronnie from the moment she had walked in the room and now she could do nothing but bury her head between her knees as she began to sob, hoping like a small child that if she closed her eyes she would disappear, the situation finally becoming too much. The sight was almost too much for Ronnie to bear – Danielle had seemed untouchable, now she literally was untouchable. Danielle couldn't believe her; maybe she would never be forgiven.

x

Standing outside Danielle's room in the hospital corridor, but watching intently through the window, Andy tossed and turned the events of the past few hours in his head. Why had this woman suddenly turned up? Why was she in his daughter's hospital room? Why was she sitting next to his little girl and not him? Staring through the cracks in the window blinds, he watched his daughter's small, fragile body shaking with tears, and he felt a sudden wave of guilt come over him. This was his fault. Why had he ever let her go to London? It was always going to be nothing but trouble.

Now he saw Danielle pull her knees to her chest and lower her head into her hands. He could see her shaking more and more by the second. Now the tall, blonde woman, her 'mother', jumped to her feet and ran to Danielle's side. He felt another pang of guilt rush through his body as he saw the woman place her hand carefully onto Danielle's back, but this time tinged with jealousy and even, perhaps, hatred for this woman.

Andy could look at the scene no longer. He turned and sat on a plastic chair beside him, choosing to leave a space between himself and the woman who had arrived with Ronnie. She looked to him and smiled. Not a warm smile, but a smile nonetheless.

Unperturbed by Andy's antagonism, Roxy stood to her feet, taking up his position next to the window. She too saw Ronnie standing at Danielle's shoulder, rubbing her back tenderly. Roxy was worried about Ronnie; even from this distance she could see her eyes were red raw from crying. Roxy was pleased that Danielle had, at least, agreed to see Ronnie, and that Andy had allowed her to return, but this clearly wasn't the dream encounter either would have hoped for. This was more like something from a nightmare.


	14. Chapter 14

Ronnie could feel eyes upon her, boring into her. Looking up from her daughter, Ronnie turned her head towards the door and saw her little sister stood behind it. Catching her eyes, she shook her head; a simple gesture, but one that conveyed the utter helplessness she felt at that moment. Danielle had said nothing more to her than the words 'I can't', and then she had broken down. She hadn't screamed and shouted; she hadn't forced Ronnie to leave. But now she sat in silence on her bed, head in hands, knees pulled to chest. The foetal position, almost.

What could she do now? The desire to pull Danielle into a maternal embrace almost overwhelmed Ronnie. She wanted to hold her baby, she wanted Danielle to wrap her fingers in a fist around her hand and squeeze tightly, as she had done 19 years before. But Danielle was not a baby any more. The Danielle that Ronnie knew now was a broken teenager. She was an adult.

Ronnie was sure Danielle wouldn't be ready to receive that hug from her mother for a long while, so for now she made do with rubbing a shaking Danielle's back. She was thankful, even surprised, that Danielle was letting her do this at all; moments ago she had recoiled from the simple touch of a hand. As she did so, Ronnie tried with all her might to sooth Danielle's misery, whispering words of warmth and encouragement, but she was almost certain Danielle would neither hear them nor take any notice.

Much to her surprise, however, after only a few short minutes Danielle lifted her head from its position nestled between her legs, revealing patches of salty tears upon her hospital gown. Ronnie's heart skipped; maybe Danielle would listen, maybe she did believe her, she thought, for a brief second.

Looking up at her mother, her eyes wide with fear, Danielle mustered up all the strength she could, "I have to go back", she whispered.

"Back where, Danielle?" Ronnie probed with caution; the tension in the room could've been cut with a knife. Ronnie was hoping that Danielle would not speak the very words she had been expecting all day, but Danielle simply hoped that Ronnie would listen to her words and understand why she had to say them; that she would leave her alone, not make this any more difficult for either of them.

"Home", Danielle replied, looking away from Ronnie as if ashamed to speak her final words, "To Telford".

Ronnie's heart fell. Of course, it was perfectly acceptable that Danielle would react this way. Ronnie hadn't expected Danielle to welcome her with open arms; she hadn't expected sweetness and light, swings and ice creams in the park. Of course, it had always been quite likely that Danielle would choose to leave her behind, that she wouldn't want to get to know her as mother; after all, Ronnie had made it quite clear she didn't want Danielle as a daughter. But, that was before she knew.

Despite all of these almost certainties, Ronnie was heartbroken. She wanted Danielle's acceptance so much. It's strange, the way the tides can turn.

"Of course", she replied, stifling yet more tears. "If that's what you want"

"It is what I want" Danielle said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I just can't"; they were not malicious words, simply those of a broken woman. A woman with no choice but to leave behind her the one thing she wanted more than anything else in the whole world.

Was it a lie, Danielle asked herself? Or was she just protecting herself? Surely, when a lie is a shield, it isn't really a lie?

"I should…" Ronnie didn't finish, she didn't want to say the word 'leave'; it seemed so final. Instead, she gestured towards the door, reluctantly removing her hand from Danielle who shook a little less now. She seemed to have regained her composure. Ronnie felt like she was going in the other direction, beginning to fall apart.

"Will you…stay", Danielleventured; her words were quiet but Ronnie heard loud and clear.

"Of course I will", a smile spread across Ronnie's face. She was so confused, Danielle was so up and down, but she wanted to savour every second with her daughter. These may be the last in a long time. Ronnie sighed, remembering how she had thought the very same thing a few hours before. This time, however, the bittersweet exchange that she had just had with Danielle confirmed that this really was her last chance.


	15. Chapter 15

3 days later

"Is this the last one?" Andy folded a green t-shirt on Danielle's bed and placed it into a black holdall, now full of the items Danielle had been brought during her few days in hospital. After hearing that Danielle wished to return to her home in Telford Stacey had returned each day with more of her belongings, until Danielle had what might constitute a whole wardrobe hanging over the chair in the corner of the room. Stacey had been naturally upset at her decision, but she understood why she had to go and had chosen not to argue.

Danielle nodded in reply to her father, remaining silent.

"Why is it you always leave somewhere with more than you arrived with?" Andy laughed, pushing the shirt deep into the bag, fighting with the zip. In truth, Andy wondered how Danielle had survived with so little all this time in London.

Danielle sat cross-legged at the head of her hospital bed. She smiled at her adoptive father, but didn't reply. She hadn't said a lot since that day, three days earlier, when she had sent Ronnie away. Secretly, she knew Andy was over the moon with her decision, and as much as she found it difficult being with Ronnie, this made her feel sick. Because, above all, and after all that had happened, she still loved Ronnie. She knew that, but she also knew there was nothing she could do about it. Not now, not ever.

"Shall we get out of here then, darling?" Andy said, lifting the bag up from the bed, slinging it over his shoulder and offering his other hand for his daughter to take.

Danielle nodded, picking herself up from the bed and taking his hand into hers.

X

Roxy opened the door to her room, cringing slightly as it creaked loudly; she didn't want to wake Ronnie up, even though it was the middle of the afternoon. Poking her head around the door, she realised that she shouldn't have worried about the door because Ronnie was already up. She sat on the opposite side of the bed, staring intently into her locket, Danielle's locket now hanging around her own neck. She hadn't heard Roxy, or the creaking door.

Now Ronnie could put a name to the face inside the locket that had hung around her neck for so long, a real name and a 19 year old face to the picture within the locket, she had done little else but look at it for three whole days. Roxy sighed; she wasn't used to this situation, to Ronnie breaking down. It was a real wake up call, but Roxy didn't know if she was quite ready to deal with it yet. For now, though, she put aside her fears, entered the room and took a seat next to her sister. Ronnie knew Roxy had joined her, but she still didn't look up from the face of her daughter.

"You should get something to eat Ron" Roxy stated; it wasn't a suggestion, more of an order.

Roxy had tried to tell Ronnie that everything was going to be ok, that they would go and see Danielle again, that they could persuade her to change her mind. But Ronnie hadn't been able to see further than her locket. It was as if that picture was her Danielle, it was her ideal, it was all she wanted. Roxy couldn't try that again, she couldn't push any further.

In reality, Danielle had simply been too difficult for Ronnie to face. She didn't want to push her any further, try and get her to change her mind just to be rejected again. So she had just given up. It was the first time since giving away her daughter all those years ago that Ronnie had ever just given up; it was happening again. _Why does she have this power over me_, Ronnie had thought?

_Love_ – Ronnie had answered her own question. She had loved Amy and she loved Danielle, more than anything. They were one and the same; the ultimate object of Ronnie's love. But, sometimes you can't have what you want, what you love.

"How about a coffee" Roxy mused, she knew she was talking to herself, "We could go over to the caff? Or, just for a walk if you fancy?"

Roxy was almost certain Ronnie wouldn't want to go to the café, but she had to say something. Ronnie closed the locket, took in a sharp intake of breath, and turned to look at her sister in the eyes.

"She's gone, hasn't she?" Ronnie sniffed, unable to cry any more tears. Roxy sighed; she wanted to be able to wipe the slate clean for Ronnie, make everything better; but on the other hand, she wanted Ronnie to snap out of her misery. She wanted the old Ronnie back, the Ronnie who she knew and loved, the Ronnie who would've fought to see Danielle, made her listen, made her care.

"Have you tried ringing her Ron?" Ronnie's eyes widened in surprised response to her sister's question, "You want to speak to her. She did come to find you, Ron, maybe she wants to talk as well, maybe she'll change her mind, if you just try?"

"I don't think so Rox" Ronnie replied, shaking her head. "It went too far; I went too far. She won't want to know"

"How do you know that, Ronnie?" Roxy didn't want to shout, but she really didn't know how to get through to her big sister. Danielle was all she wanted, all Ronnie had wanted for the last two decades, but here she was, too stubborn to admit that maybe something could be done. Too stubborn or too scared.

But Ronnie doesn't do scared, Roxy thought. Lifting up Ronnie's phone from the bedside table she scrolled through the phonebook, looking for Danielle's name. She placed the phone into Ronnie's hand and looked at her probingly, before getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.

"I'm getting you a coffee", she smiled, watching Ronnie as she fiddled with the phone in her hand, before adding her final two pence, "We both know it's the right thing to do, Ron"


	16. Chapter 16

Danielle climbed into the front seat of her father's car and slammed the door shut behind her. Taking a final look at the hospital, she pressed the on button of the car radio. As she turned up the volume Andy sighed disapprovingly, but he did not argue. He was just so happy that she was coming home with him.

As Andy turned the key in the ignition and the car began its journey northwards to her 'family' home, Danielle searched through her handbag for her phone and quickly checked the screen before placing it on the dashboard. She had no new messages, no missed calls. Stacey had called earlier that morning to check if she had everything she needed and to wish her luck, but no-one else had called for the last three days.

_What did I expect_, Danielle thought? _Of course she didn't ring. I sent her away_.

"What is this rubbish?" Andy laughed. "Your taste in music clearly hasn't improved much!" It was meant as joke, but Danielle didn't find her father's words very funny. She reached out towards the audio system and pushed the off button violently.

"I didn't mean…" Andy sighed; this was clearly going to be a lot more difficult that he might've first thought. That woman, Ronnie, still had a hold over his daughter, whether she was around her or not. He knew he would have to broach the subject at some point; after all, it was only now he knew the real reason Danielle had left for London in the first place.

"Danielle", he ventured, testing the water, "You do know you will always have a home with us in Telford, don't you?"

She nodded, staring at the floor, but Andy decided to continue despite Danielle's cold response.

"I really do love you, you know. Maybe I haven't been the greatest dad to you over the last few months, I dunno, but I do love having you at home. It'll always be your home"

"I know" Danielle said, still not looking up. The pair sat in silence as the car sped towards its destination. Danielle knew that Andy was trying; she knew he'd taken Ronnie's appearance and declaration hard, and she wasn't at all surprised. He hadn't known why she'd gone to London in the first place, and it had clearly hurt him to find out so suddenly. She was sure he'd be asking himself what he could have done to stop her leaving in the first place, but truthfully, nothing would have stopped Danielle.

Andy watched out of the corner of his eye as Danielle clutched hold of her chest, where her locket used to hang. Finding it missing, she closed her eyes and single a tear fell to her cheek.

A sudden, vibrating noise cut through the eerie silence that had formed between Danielle and her father, as her phone began to whir upon the dashboard. Danielle jumped, reaching her hand out to pick up the phone, but quickly pressed the reject button without even thinking as she noticed the name on the screen.

"Who was that, love?" Andy already knew the answer to his question.

"No-one" Danielle lied; she knew she couldn't fool her father, he wasn't stupid. But he could get hurt, and so could she. Now was not the time to answer a phone call to Ronnie. What was she doing calling her anyway? Why now?

"Well, if you want to talk about it, love…" he didn't finish.

"I don't", Danielle cut in "But thanks dad".


	17. Chapter 17

Ronnie stared at her phone. She had done what Roxy had suggested, she had rung Danielle, three times in fact, and of course, Danielle had rejected her call each time. What had she truthfully expected? Of course Danielle didn't pick up. What would she have said? What could either of them have said? How could she possibly have started a telephone conversation with the daughter who had rejected her; with the daughter she had rejected?

Still, Ronnie had the strange urge to try again, to press the recall button. Three times more she brought her thumb close to the green button and then changed her mind. But the fourth time she did it, she pressed it. Slowly lifting the phone up to her ear she heard Danielle's ring in reply; once, twice, three times, four. Nothing.

But this time Danielle didn't press reject. Listening to the buzzing noises on the line, Ronnie held onto the sound of each, hoping the next noise she would hear would be the voice of her daughter. And suddenly, there it was…

"Ronnie". Ronnie heard her name. It was truly the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. She wanted to hold onto that second, never forget.

"Oh my…Danielle…I…Baby" Ronnie could hear noises of a car in the background; they weren't home yet.

"Ronnie, why…" Danielle didn't know what she was asking, why she was trying, so she stopped short. She still didn't know why Ronnie was ringing. She hadn't wanted to turn the phone off; that somehow felt like finally severing all ties with her mother, which she didn't want to do, but that didn't mean she actually wanted to talk to her. She had no idea what to say, but Andy had insisted she answered the phone after the fourth call; he had almost shouted at her to pick up.

"Baby, I'm so sorry" Ronnie cried down the phone, unable to control herself any longer. Her baby, Danielle, was actually listening to her, but yet she was so far away. How could Ronnie really tell her how she felt over the phone?

"I…I can't…"

But Danielle didn't have time to reach the end of her sentence. A look of intense fear filled Danielle's eyes as she realised her father's car was heading towards the central reservation. Screaming, she watched as her father's body became limp, landing upon the steering wheel seconds before the car hit the barrier.

In that second, the phone had left Danielle's ear and flown through the air, landing on the floor of the battered car.

"DANIELLE" Ronnie shouted, witnessing the unfolding events over the phone line; her screams were ear piercing, blood curdling.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello everybody! I hope you're enjoying what you've read so far. Many thanks for the lovely reviews that people have left. I hope you weren't all too shocked by the latest twist – let's hope it won't spell too much more agony for Ronnie or Danielle. I guess we'll have to see! Two more days till my exams finish, they I will get down to some more writing, so if people have ideas of where this could be headed, please feel free to say. Reviews welcome as always. Rachel x**

x

"Baby, I'm so sorry"

Ronnie still sat, perched on the bed in Roxy's room. She had been staying with Roxy since Danielle had been hit by Janine, three days earlier; sleeping in her bed, only eating when Roxy brought her food. It made her feel safe, somehow, that she had Roxy there next to her. Even after everything that had happened, Roxy still made her feel safe. Truthfully, she didn't know what she would do without her.

Now Roxy's suggestion to call Danielle had worked. Danielle had answered the phone. Danielle's voice was so comforting, almost as comforting as her presence. When she heard it, when she heard Danielle say her name, Ronnie had almost felt complete.

But now she couldn't work out what it all meant. Did Danielle really want to talk to her, or was she just answering to tell her to go away, to leave her alone and never call again?

Opening the door slowly behind Ronnie, Roxy realised what was happening, and stood silently, watching her sister for a few short seconds, before retreating, leaving her in private. It was mere seconds, however, before she heard Ronnie scream.

Just as Danielle's voice had been the most beautiful sound for Ronnie, this scream was the worst thing Roxy had ever heard. She knew in that instant that something truly awful must have happened, but what, she had no idea. Turning on her heels she pushed upon the door to her room, and was greeted by the sight of Ronnie crouched behind the bed, sobbing hysterically, pounding her fists into the carpet. Roxy ran to her side, putting her hands around Ronnie's shoulders, but this simply prompted Ronnie to turn her pounding fists onto Roxy.

"Ronnie, Ronnie, hey, shush" Roxy gripped her sister more tightly now. "What's going on Ron? What happened? What did she say?"

Roxy had never seen her sister like this before, and she was frightened. Ronnie never broke down; Ronnie had a shield, a front she put up when something went wrong. But the shield had been broken down, it had disappeared. What was Danielle doing to her?

x

The eerie silence had returned between Danielle and her father, but this time it was different. Now both father and daughter lay, unconscious, in a car that had careered seconds before across two lanes of the motorway, before crashing headlong into the central reservation. Everything was quiet, no-one spoke; no-one opened their eyes. Anyone listening carefully enough, however, would have heard cries, the name 'Danielle' spoken over and over. Then just sobs, uncontrollable sobs. Against the odds, Danielle's phone line had not been cut off.


	19. Chapter 19

"Can you hear me sir?" A paramedic poked his head threw the window to Andy's car. Another paramedic tended to an injured man who moaned and sobbed in an up turned car behind them, which had careered off course in an attempt to avoid hitting the back of Andy's Volvo, as a third ambulance crew arrived on the scene.

The paramedic, a short, middle-aged man called Mike could see that neither the older man closest to him, his head lain across the steering wheel, nor the young, blond woman who sat limp in the passenger seat beside, were moving. From across the man's body he could see that the girl had a head injury, blood poured from a gash across her forehead, and her legs were trapped.

This first paramedic was joined shortly by another, who tended to Danielle. Forcing the passenger door open, which was easier said than done as it hung awakwardly, the space between the car and the central reservation extremely minimal, she checked Danielle's pulse and listened to her breathing; she was relieved to discover that the former was still there, if faint, and although her breathing appeared to be strained, she could still see her chest rising and falling. Noticing a small, black phone flashing on the floor of the car the paramedic lifted it to her ear. She could hear shouting on the end of the line, shouting and crying.

"Hello" she asked. "Hello". No-one answered, so she reluctantly hung up, turning her attention back to the injured parties.

"We're here to help my love" she told Danielle, soothingly "Can you hear me?"

Slowly, but surely, Danielle opened one of her eyes. She had been too scared to do so before, but now she could hear a voice. A woman's voice, she sounded friendly. Suddenly Danielle knew where she was, what had happened. She remembered being in her father's car, she remembered the phone calls, first rejecting them and then answering the phone to Ronnie. She remembered hearing Ronnie's voice on the line. She remembered her father loosing control.

"Where's Ronnie?" Danielle screeched. She began to shake, her head throbbing in pain. Where was Ronnie? She needed Ronnie. Danielle could remember what had happened, but she was in so much pain, she couldn't think straight. She knew there was no way Ronnie could've been there, but somehow she resented that she wasn't.

"I don't know my love, but we'll find her just as soon as we've got you out of here" The paramedic spoke with care, she was quite used to hysterical patients, but she was just thankful that Danielle was speaking at all. It's the quiet ones you really have to worry about.

X

_Here we are again_, Roxy thought to herself, wondering how it had come to this. For the second time in a matter of days, Roxy sat holding her older sister while she wept, shaking and crying in an ugly heap on the floor. Again, Roxy stroked Ronnie's hair, whispered words into her ear, held her tight. The sight was a strange one to behold – two grown woman, holding on to one another for dear life, almost as one.

"You have to tell me what's going on Ronnie" Roxy pressed her sister, for the second or third time. She couldn't remember how long they'd been there. Ten minutes, maybe twenty. But this was different to last time; Ronnie had lost control. But she had lost more than her control, Roxy mused. Something was missing, something had gone.

Noticing Ronnie's phone, Roxy tried to reach out to pick it up without moving her other arm from embracing Ronnie's shoulders. The screen was blank, but as Ronnie saw what Roxy was holding, she sniffed loudly and began a new round of uncontrollable sobs.

"Please, Ron. You have to help me to understand. Or I can't help you, can I?" Roxy spoke to Ronnie the way she'd imagine talking to a little girl. Ronnie had become her little girl. Ronnie shook her head slowly from side to side; still she couldn't speak.

"Please, Ron. Did Danielle say something? What did she say Ron? Is she ok?" Danielle must have said something pretty bad to leave Ronnie in this state, Roxy thought. What could she possibly have done? Surely Ronnie wouldn't react this way to being told she couldn't see Danielle? She'd already been told that, just three days before. Of course, she'd been upset – but she'd gone into shock, not said a word, just stared longingly into her locket for days on end. Maybe hearing it again had tipped her over the edge, Roxy wondered?

Or, maybe it was something else? Something worse? But what could she have said over the phone? Nothing this bad, surely?

"Ronnie, please…" She began to stutter now, it was almost too much for Roxy to watch her sister falling apart like this. Carefully, Roxy attempted to peel Ronnie's body from hers, turning her limp figure until she could look straight into her eyes. She held onto her shoulders, giving them a light shake. Ronnie still looked at the floor, but as Roxy gently stroked her cheek and then her chin, Ronnie lifted her heavy eyes to stare upwards towards her sister.

Still sniffing, still sobbing, she said "She's gone, Rox. I've lost her again. She's gone"


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks again for all of the reviews. I've changed a couple of minor points thanks to reading them, so please do keep them coming! Coming up – will Ronnie and Roxy find out what really happened to Danielle in time? Will Danielle and Ronnie finally get the chance to talk properly? What has happened to Andy? **

x

"You haven't lost her Ron. She's still out there, isn't she?" Roxy was getting slightly impatient with Ronnie now; she was still confused, she had no idea what had happened, but she also knew it was her place to calm Ronnie, not to get her even more wound up.

Nodding a little, unable to look Roxy in the eye, her tone completely absent, Ronnie replied finally, reverently, "She has gone, Roxy. She's dead".

Roxy gasped, open mouthed, completely taken aback, "She's what? What happened?"

For a moment Roxy thought Ronnie had finally lost it. _She's gone mad_, she thought. Why wasn't I here, why did I tell her to phone Danielle? _What a stupid suggestion_, she sighed.

_But maybe it hadn't been Danielle on the phone_, her line of thought suddenly changed. Maybe it had been someone else, someone from the hospital, her father, a friend from home?

Now Roxy understood why Ronnie was broken, why she seemed so lost. Throwing her arms around Ronnie's neck, she allowed her to nestle her face into her shoulder, and the tears falling from Ronnie's eyes were now mirrored by Roxy's. She had, after all, lost someone as well. _She was my niece_, Roxy thought to herself, suddenly realising the real seriousness of the situation.

Neither moved from their embracement for at least five minutes, but it was Ronnie who pulled away first. Her hand shook as she took her phone from Roxy's hand, gripping it tightly within hers and beginning to shake, before throwing it violently across the room.

"It's my fault, Rox. Why did I call her, why did I do it?" She had begun to shout now.

"Of course it isn't you fault Ronnie" Confused again, Roxy's eyes pierced Ronnie's, pleading with her to provide some kind of explanation.

"I heard her scream Rox. It was so horrible" Ronnie's eyes were wide as she began to rant.

"She answered the phone, she was going to speak to me. I was so happy. But I didn't know what to say, I started to babble I suppose" For a moment, as she spoke about her daughter, Roxy thought she saw Ronnie's eyes light up; but only for a fleeting moment, and then it was gone and the fear, and the anger, and the worry, had returned.

"She couldn't finish her sentence. I heard her scream. She screamed – it sounded like she was screaming at me; at everyone; at the world" Ronnie took in a deep breath; the speech had left her breathless once again.

"Then that noise, a horrible crunch, the car….it…. It was so loud", Ronnie's voice began to waver, "She's so small, Roxy".

Roxy had no idea what to say in reply to her sister, but she had no time, as Ronnie continued to speak.

"Then there was just silence. I said her name over and over. But nothing, there was just nothing"


	21. Chapter 21

Ok, you lucky people, I'm totally bored of revising for my final finals exam tomorrow (get in…) so I thought I'd give you an extra update today.

I realise that both Ronnie and Danielle are quite miserable at the moment; I seem to be quite good/enjoy writing misery – I do apologise. I can assure you that they will have to the chance to see each other at some point soon. Watch this space to find out when and how!

x

"This is for the pain my love" the paramedic soothed, as she carefully attached a ventilator to Danielle, "It'll help you breathe while we get you out of here".

After smiling at Danielle, and then rearranging the plastic ventilator cord as Danielle tried in vein to shake it into position, the paramedic turned her attention to Danielle's trapped legs. They were in a pretty bad way, she was loosing a lot of blood, and time was of the essence.

"We have to get going, Mike" she called to her colleague, who ran to her side, carrying a bag full of medical equipment. In the distance they could hear the sirens of a fire engine, careering down the motorway's hard shoulder.

"Here they are lovely, your knights in shining armour!" Mike squeezed Danielle's hand, checking her pulse as he did so. It was getting more and more faint, but remaining jovial he promised Danielle, "We're gonna have you out of here in no time"

In a flurry of action the firemen arrived and started work on removing Danielle from the vehicle, which cars driving down the motorway now slowed down to survey, in its wretched state. It was a meticulous job; any sudden moments or wrong moves and Danielle would be in even more trouble. The paramedics and fire crew could see that her situation had begun to quickly deteriorate, so throughout the rescue mission they continued to talk to her, telling her to remain calm, that everything would be fine.

As the minutes passed by and Danielle began to loose more blood it became difficult for her to focus on what was going on around her, but in the chaos she felt an incredible feeling of loneliness. Still, lost in her own thoughts, drifting in and out of consciousness, Danielle failed to notice the firemen removing her father's body from the driver's seat beside her, placing a sheet over his torso and face and then lifting it into the back of a nearby ambulance.

Indeed, by the time the rescue team were in the position to remove her from the passenger seat she no longer had the energy even to open her eyes. Squeezing her left hand, Mike continued to talk to Danielle while two firemen carefully lifted her body from the wreckage, before laying it flat onto a stretcher, attaching a neck brace in the process. Reaching into the space under the seat he grabbed her bag, searching through it for signs of who the young girl they had rescued was; her name, her age, where she was from, where they were headed.

"Ok, my love", he squeezed her hand again, "…Danielle", he corrected, opening her purse and reading from a card within, "Can you hear me? We're going to give you an injection to help with the pain; it shouldn't hurt at all. At least, that's what they say!"

Jumping at the pain of the injection, Danielle's eyes shot open. She felt dizzy from the gas she'd been inhaling since the paramedics arrived, and the pain in the rest of body felt the same – dull, aching - but instinctively she knew something was different; she wasn't in the car any more. But where was she, she couldn't tell. And who were these people around her, she couldn't tell that either. Minutes later it all become too much, and Danielle passed silently from this world of consciousness, to another world of unconscious dreaming.


	22. Chapter 22

"Breathe slowly for me, in and out, that's it" Roxy spoke calmly into Ronnie's ear; she had managed to move her from a heap on the floor onto the side of her bed. Now, trying to instruct her to slow her breathing, Roxy was not having much luck. Ronnie had begun to breathe faster and faster, the pain of what she had heard on the phone and the energy expelled relating the story to Roxy finally catching up with her. She sat leaning towards the floor, her head in her hands, her whole body trembling as she scrambled for air.

"Come on Ron, we can do this, yeah?" Roxy didn't know what to do with her sister. Maybe Ronnie really had lost Danielle again – maybe she had gone. But Roxy knew that she needed to think rationally about the situation; find out what had really happened, where Danielle was, if she was ok. But with Ronnie in this state she had little time to think of anything other than making sure she could breathe. Slowly but surely, however, Ronnie began to take control. Mirroring Roxy, she breathed heavily inwards before releasing the air in a long, drawn out sigh.

"That's better Ron" Roxy commended, squeezing her sister's knee, while weighing up her options as to the best way to continue; she needed to pry some more information out of Ronnie, but she wasn't whether she was ready for a questioning yet. Or, even, whether she would have any answers. Deciding to go for the round about option, Roxy asked, "Can I have a quick look at your phone, Ron?"

Ronnie didn't answer, so Roxy picked herself up from the bed, satisfied that Ronnie could now support her own weight and crossed the room quickly to pick up the mobile which had been discarded during the earlier commotion. Searching for 'call information' Roxy found Danielle's number, before sitting back at Ronnie's side. Looking at the name and number on the screen, she ventured, "Maybe we should try calling Ron, she if anyone answers?"

Ronnie looked up at Roxy incredulously, and through her forced breathing managed to ask, "What the hell are you on about Rox? How could you…? Can't you see…?"

"Of course I can see you're upset", realising her tone had been harsher than she had intended, Roxy halted, lightening up a bit.

"Look, you can't just sit here wondering, Ron. What if she's on her way to hospital right now? What if she wants to see you?"

Wide eyed, Ronnie watched, unable to protest, as Roxy hit the call button. She knew at the back of her mind that Roxy was probably right, maybe Danielle was ok, maybe she had overreacted; but it was just too much for Ronnie to take, she didn't want to know if anyone would pick up Danielle's phone or not - she just wanted to switch off, forget everything that had happened. She just wanted her baby back.

Raising the phone to her ear, Roxy used her free hand to grab hold of Ronnie's tightly. She sat close enough to Ronnie so that they could both hear the line. Danielle's phone began to ring; once, twice, three times, and then…

"Hello, Danielle Jones' phone". It was a quiet voice; soft, friendly. But somehow Roxy could hear an air of concern.

Hearing her daughter's name out loud Ronnie began to shake again, her body now convulsing, her breathing suddenly quickening to a pace similar to moments before. Roxy gripped her sister's hand even tighter now, before starting what could potentially be the most important conversation of her life; even more so for Ronnie's.


	23. Chapter 23

"Danielle Jones' phone?", Roxy jumped in, "Who is this? Where's Danielle? Is she ok?" Roxy asked question after question; she needed to confirm first that she had heard correctly, but she and Ronnie needed to know so many other things as well. Instinctively she already knew who she was talking to, but it took the paramedic to reply for her to be truly certain.

"Yes, Danielle is here with us. Can I ask who I am speaking to, please?" the paramedic replied, now taking on an authoritative tone; she sounded hurried, as if she wanted Roxy off the phone as quickly as possible.

"This is Roxy Mitchell, Danielle's my niece. I'm Danielle's…aunt", she hesitated; noticing Ronnie's increasingly concerned look as she implored Roxy to tell her what was happening, and her steadily quickening breathing, Roxy asked, "Please, who is this?"

Roxy was beginning to get impatient as well. Where was Danielle, what had happened to her, why wouldn't this woman hurry up and tell her what was going on?

"I'm afraid I can't give out information about Danielle over the phone, madam"

Hearing this both Ronnie and Roxy expelled frustrated sighs; Ronnie's exasperated, Roxy's highly irritated.

"Look, I called to speak to Danielle, would you just pass me over, please? I've got Danielle's mum here. She's worried sick", Roxy began to shout, "You have to tell us something, please"

Sighing, the paramedic replied, sounding defeated, "My name is Angela, I'm a paramedic. I've been treating Danielle"

"Oh my…", Roxy was open mouthed now, "Where are you taking her? How is she? What happened?"

Roxy was more than irritated by this point. On the other hand, hearing the news that her daughter was being treated, that she was not dead, Ronnie stared straight ahead, in silence; she wasn't quite ready to come to terms with the fact that her daughter had not been ripped away from her once again, even though this was the one thing she wanted more than anything else in the world. The constant yo-yoing had become just a little too much; besides, she still had no idea where Danielle was, the state she was in, how close she was to the hospital, who was treating her. So many questions remained unanswered, but Ronnie didn't have the strength to try and answer any of them.

"Walford General Hospital, madam", the paramedic stated, "but I really cannot tell you any more"

With that, Angela hung up and swiftly returned the phone to Danielle's bag before continuing to assist Mike in lifting her body into the back of an ambulance; searching her mind for Danielle's words moments before she tried to remember the name of the woman she had asked for – she was pretty sure it hadn't been 'Roxy'.

Angela had always hated conversations with family; she had wanted to be able to tell Roxy everything she knew. That Danielle was in a bad way, but that she could tell she was a fighter. But she knew nothing about the woman she had been talking to. Really, she knew nothing about Danielle.

All she knew was that Danielle was her main priority, so there was no time to waste on telephone calls, whoever they were to. For some reason, though, she was pleased she had been able to contact Danielle's family. She had just seen her lose her father, although Danielle still had no idea; secretly, she prayed that these other family members would be everything that Danielle needed during this difficult time. After all, Danielle would need all the support she could get, she thought, surveying her patient's frail, wretched body.


	24. Chapter 24

**Just a quick note to say a big thankyou to all reviewers, regular or otherwise. It's great to hear people appreciate/are enjoying the story (or not). I did have lots of chapters written in advance when I was trying to avoid revising, hence the frequent updates, and I have been trying to write a few chapters ahead, but the frequency may straight to wane a little in the next few days! You're going to start seeing the introduction of some more characters over the next few chapters, so I hope you enjoy the changing dynamic. Rachel x**

x

In a flurry of action similar to Danielle's rescue from her father' car, Roxy scooped Ronnie up from the bed, hurried her down the stairs, through the pub and out onto the square. Unconcerned about Amy who had been taken by Jack for the day, Roxy pulled Ronnie along behind her, supporting her weight, eager to get her to the hospital as soon as possible. If they could arrive at Walford General before Danielle then all the better, she thought.

This was Roxy's time to pay her sister back for all of the help and support Ronnie had given her in the past; maybe Ronnie didn't know it right at that moment, but Roxy was eternally grateful that she had her as a big sister – she didn't know what she would do without her and she felt it was not only her duty to make sure Ronnie didn't fall apart, but that she needed to do this for herself as well. She needed the Ronnie she remembered back, and she now realised that only Danielle could do that for her; for them both.

Rounding a street corner, Roxy was surprised to see Jack crossing the square towards them, cooing into the pram in front of him as he pushed it towards the Queen Vic, on his way to return Amy to her mother. Noticing the father of her child and the pram holding her little baby, she sighed, suddenly realising how late it was; she must have been with Ronnie for hours, she contemplated, lifting her left arm – the other still gripping hold of Ronnie's limp body - and reading the time. 5:15pm, her watch said.

Jack had clearly seen Roxy and Ronnie crossing the square, as he shouted and turned the pram in their direction, "Alright Rox, I'm coming", he yelled.

Roxy, however, ignored his cries and continued on her mission to find a taxi, without a second look.

"Where are you going Roxy, we're over here" Jack waved towards the pram, slightly taken aback by Roxy ignoring him so abrasively. He was quite used to the Mitchell sisters, but usually, when it came to her child, Roxy would not have walked straight past.

Turning the pram to follow the pair of blondes, now Jack noticed the state Ronnie was in – her red face, her slow, forced breathing, her inability to stand up on her own. Assuming she had had too much to drink, Jack began to question Roxy; he still got concerned about Ronnie when he saw her like this, whether she wanted him to or not.

"Where are you going? Shouldn't she be at home Rox?" he eyed Ronnie suspiciously. Roxy shot a menacing glance in his direction and tutted under her breath, before continuing straight ahead. Jack now quickened his pace.

"Come on Rox? Half five, we're early, look", he pointed at his watch.

"Very early, yeah, thanks Jack. But it looks like you and Amy can carry on the party today. I'm taking Ronnie to hospital"

"Hospital?" Jack stopped, shocked, "What's wrong with her. I'll drive you, come on", reaching their side, he grabbed hold of Ronnie's free shoulder, suddenly worried that there was something seriously wrong with her. Still in a state of shock, still unable to tell what was really going on around her, her weight supported almost completely by her sister, Ronnie did not react to Jack's touch; she didn't even realise he was there.

"No thanks, I think we'll manage. And there's nothing wrong with her. It's Danielle", Roxy stared at him, imploring him ask no more questions and to leave them be, but Jack was having none of it. Secretly, however, Roxy was pleased to have some of Ronnie's weight taken off her shoulders, and loosened up a little as Jack joined her to help.

"No, look…" he began, steering the pair towards Amy's pram, which he guided with his spare hand, "we can use my car, I'll get you there a lot quicker than any taxi"

Softening as she noticed the face of her daughter, Roxy nodded; still Ronnie had not reacted to Jack's presence.

"Alright Jack, but just a lift to the hospital, yeah", Roxy insisted. Any other time and Ronnie would have given Jack a piece of her mind, told him to disappear, especially seeing him with Amy. But she was in too much of a state to worry, she hadn't said a word, and Roxy hoped to God that she wouldn't mind Jack driving them to the hospital.

After all, Roxy reassured herself, he would only drive them and then he'd disappear; she'd make sure of it. Roxy was going to do this properly for her sister.


	25. Chapter 25

As they made their way across the square, Ronnie still not speaking a word and apparently unaware that she was being supported by Jack, Roxy let go and took hold her of her daughter's pram, though not releasing her sister's flailing hand. Jack could see Roxy become noticeably calmer as she peeped into the buggy and stroked Amy's cheek, a child so blissfully unaware of the happenings around her.

"What a beautiful little girl you are" Roxy cooed, "Don't you ever grow up, you hear me?" Roxy had often thought about what her little Amy would be like when she got older; _perhaps she'd look a little bit like Danielle,_ she wondered.

"Takes after her dad, doesn't she" Jack butted in, hearing Roxy's words.

"We'll have less of that" Roxy replied quickly, adamant she wouldn't let Jack make things any worse for Ronnie. One wrong move, one word out of line from either of them and Ronnie would fall even further over the edge. Roxy couldn't let that happen, she just couldn't.

"Yes, sir" Jack replied, with a cheeky grin. Roxy couldn't help but smile in return. She knew he loved Amy and she couldn't help but enjoy being around him; especially with Amy there as well – things always seemed that little bit easier when her daughter was involved. But she knew she shouldn't find it easy spending time with Jack; in all honesty, she shouldn't be spending time with Jack at all, not if she wanted to save Ronnie's feelings.

But this was a special situation, Roxy told herself. Jack was here to help Ronnie. Ronnie was in no state to argue, and in any case, this was the best thing for all of them. Jack would get them to hospital in no time.

"Here we are girls", Jack told the pair as they reached the pavement outside his flat, although only Roxy took any notice, as she lifted Amy out of her pram, folded it up and placed it into the boot of Jack's car. Opening the passenger door, Jack tried to guide Ronnie's downwards, but it proved more difficult to get her to comply than he had expected.

"Come on Ron" he implored her, "Work with me here". He still didn't know what had happened to Danielle, but seeing Ronnie in this state frightened him as much as it had frightened Roxy. He could tell she was extremely fragile, and was sure that if he put a foot out of line she might break. Usually her reactions to his offers of help, or even, passing comments in the street, were nothing less than volatile, so this situation was somewhat confusing for Jack.

Reaching their side, Amy cradled against her chest, Roxy used her free hand to grab hold of Ronnie's chin, pointing it towards her. Looking into Ronnie's eyes she could see there were so many questions to be asked, so many years of pain and anger resided there.

"Come on Ron, we're going to hospital. Jack's driving us. We need you to jump into the passenger seat alright?" She spoke softly, but her words were not questions or suggestions. She needed Ronnie to know this was how it was going to be; they were going to find Danielle, Ronnie was going to speak to her, everything was going to work out ok. Roxy wanted this so much for Ronnie.

Watching Ronnie's eyes widen, and turn from looking into hers towards Jack, Roxy knew that Ronnie had heard her and understood. She had seen Jack, acknowledged his presence, and hadn't reacted, and for that Roxy was extremely grateful. Smiling at Jack as Ronnie now let him guide her into the car seat, she jumped in behind, holding Amy tight in her arms, and Jack jumped into the driver's seat, as Ronnie committed her tired head to lie against the window.


	26. Chapter 26

Ronnie clasped her eyes shut tightly as she lay her weary head against the window of Jack's car, desperate for some respite from the situation forming around her. How had it come to this, she thought? She was being driven to hospital by the man she loved but had forced away, with her sister and Jack's baby, to see her long-lost daughter who had rejected her just days before. It was all just a little too much for Ronnie to take in, so instead she preferred to try and shut everything out. Unfortunately, closing her eyes could only make the visible world disappear, but the thoughts inside Ronnie's head continued to play out, as loud and seemingly, as real as ever.

Walking across the square moments before, she had been able to tell that people were staring at her and Roxy, although she hadn't let on; but they could see the state she was in. They probably thought she was drunk, and why shouldn't they? After all, she was the type of woman who got drunk in the middle of the afternoon, the type of woman who threw her own child out into the street, the type of woman who lost her child because she couldn't look after her properly; the type of woman not good enough to be a mother, she thought.

As Jack turned the key in the ignition and revved up the engine, the window began to shake and with it Ronnie's head, but still she kept her eyes locked shut; she could feel Danielle's locket shaking around her neck, so she grabbed it, worried more for it's safety than for the headache that was swiftly forming around her temples. Behind her she could hear Roxy talking to Amy, who had begun to cry. Without turning around Ronnie knew exactly what Roxy would be doing to comfort her; she was such a good mother, Ronnie thought, such a shining example in comparison to her abysmal attempts at motherhood. For a second Ronnie smiled to herself, wondering what Roxy would think if she knew what Ronnie really thought of her mothering abilities, but the stark comparison with herself brought Ronnie straight back to earth; back to wallowing in her own self pity.

Roxy was so lucky to have Amy, Ronnie mused. But now her Amy, the real Amy, had come back into their lives, Ronnie could no longer see past her love for her own daughter. She could not imagine how anyone could love another human being more than she loved the 19-year girl who had been thrust upon her just days before. When Roxy had found Ronnie in her bedroom, weeping and pummelling the carpets with her fists that had been because she thought she had lost Danielle again – but she had been wrong, she had jumped to conclusions. Now she knew Danielle was alive it was almost surreal to imagine that it was still a real possibility her daughter could once again be taken from within her wavering grasp.

Feeling the car slow to a halt after what seemed like only a few short minutes, Ronnie felt her sister's hand grip her shoulder gently from behind, as she told her, "We're here Ron". Still Ronnie did not open her eyes, although Roxy hadn't expected her to. Deftly manoeuvring Amy from one arm to the other, Roxy jumped from her seat, and leaning through the driver's window told Jack, "I'll take her through, Jack. We'll be fine from here. Thanks for your help, though"

"Do you want me to take Amy? Little Miss Grumpy Pants here wants to spend some more time with her daddy, I can tell", he stroked his crying daughter's tummy.

"No, no, that's fine. We'll all look after each other, won't we? Anyway, you're driving"

"Yeah, but I can hang around here for a bit. This is lots to deal with on your own Roxy; anyway, I want to know Ronnie and Danielle are both ok, don't I?"

Jack, out of the corner of his eye, could still see Ronnie leaning against the window. She had not moved or said a word throughout the whole journey, but he was quite sure she could hear every word of his conversation with Roxy. He wanted Ronnie to know that he did care, that he really did want to make sure she was ok.

"Like I said, I'm sure I'll manage", Roxy replied, exasperated by Jack's suggestion, "I told you, just the drive", she lowered her voice, "this is all just a bit too much for Ronnie, ok Jack?"

Jumping at the sound of a horn being blasted, Jack didn't have any time to reply. Roxy, Jack and even Ronnie turned and saw an ambulance arriving behind them, attempting to make their way into the space currently occupied by Jack's car.

"Oh, trust you to end up in the ambulance bay, Jack", Roxy scolded.

Winding up his window in reply to Roxy, who rolled her eyes at him in return, Jack started to move his car forward, as Roxy stepped back out of the way. She looked at the paramedics, giving them an apologetic glance, before returning to help her sister out of her seat. This time Ronnie didn't make it difficult for her, and Roxy was able to support Ronnie and Amy at the same time, as she began to lead her sister towards the hospital entrance.

Passing the doors to the ambulance that had just arrived, both sisters watched unconsciously as they were opened and a stretcher was pulled from the vehicle. The body of a young girl lay upon it; she lay limp, her small body frail, her matted, blonde hair framing her pale face, her clothes covered in blood stains.


	27. Chapter 27

"Ronnie, no, you have to let them work", Roxy cried, frustrated at her lack of control over the situation developing in front of her eyes.

Both Roxy and Ronnie had realised who it was that lay upon the stretcher mere seconds after it had left the ambulance, prompting Ronnie to run to Danielle's side, grabbing her left hand and lifting it into a tight embrace. Jack, who had parked his car, deciding not to listen to Roxy's pleas for him to leave, watched her frenzied reaction but chose not to intervene, until she began to push one of the paramedics away as he attempted to hold her back.

"Please, madam, you need to step away", Mike took hold of Ronnie's arm, removing it from Danielle's unconscious figure, while Roxy and Jack both reluctantly joined in the struggle to restrain Ronnie, who continued to shout after Danielle as Angela guided her bed through the swinging hospital doors, towards emergency resuscitation.

"Danielle, please. That's my daughter, my baby, you have to let me see her", Ronnie struggled and shouted after Danielle, feeling utterly helpless, and as her arms began flailing widely Roxy had to back away, worried for Amy's safety.

"Madam, please, Danielle is very ill" Mike wondered who these people were, and was slightly annoyed that his arrival at hospital had been thwarted first by their car and now by Ronnie's hysterics, but he was not a difficult or uncaring man, and as Ronnie began to calm down, he spoke to her more calmly himself.

"If you would like to wait through in the reception I'll have someone come and speak to you as soon as possible", he had already begun walking away, in the same direction that Angela had taken Danielle moments before.

"Please do" Roxy shouted after him, eying him suspiciously, "No-one has explained anything yet. You're all very helpful". She spoke the last few words under her breath, as she turned back to Ronnie, who had stopped trying to fight Jack, as if Danielle being led away had dulled all the energy left in her body, and now stared mindlessly towards the closed doors of Danielle's ambulance.

Ignoring Jack's presence, Roxy took hold of Ronnie's hand and began to guide her towards the reception area, "It's alright Ron, you'll be able to see her soon", she spoke softly, "They just need space to work, that's all"

Following along behind but keeping his distance, almost as if he was watching over the trio, in his mind keeping them safe, Jack watched as Roxy led Ronnie to seat on the opposite side of the hospital waiting room. Leaving her to stare at the floor, Roxy crossed the room to a small reception desk and Jack could tell that she was questioning the receptionist, trying to gleam as much information as possible about Danielle's condition. She had clearly learnt nothing more than she already knew when she turned back towards Ronnie, sighing, her eyes rolling in her head.

Jack now had two coffees in his hand, intended for Ronnie and Roxy, but as he arrived next to them Ronnie refused to acknowledge his appearance, and Roxy stared at him, clearly annoyed at his stubborn refusal to leave.

"No thanks", she told him shortly, "Look, I think Amy needs changing. Why don't you go and sort her out?"

Roxy could tell Amy didn't need a change, but her eyes and tone of voice entreated Jack to leave her and Ronnie alone. Roxy lifted Amy in his direction, but as she went to hand her over, Ronnie jumped in.

"I'll take her", she throw her arms out towards the child. Surprised, both Roxy and Jack stared at her, "No, Ron, it's fine. Jack can…"

"No, I want to, please?", carefully prising Amy from Roxy's arms, Ronnie supported the child against her chest, tenderly rubbing her back as she wept, unable to avoid recognising the similarity of this situation to her comforting of Danielle a few days earlier. Standing from her seat, she began pacing the waiting room, rocking Amy back and forth, singing a nursery rhyme softly into her ear, as Roxy and Jack looked on in both surprise and anxiety for Ronnie's obvious instability.


	28. Chapter 28

**Hello everybody! Sorry updates have become slightly less frequent. I've been moving flats this weekend, so haven't had a lot of time to write, and have slowed down a little on the ideas front (anyone with ideas where the story might go/what they would like to see happen, feel free to contact me!). I'll be back to normal writing in no time, once I've unpacked and sorted my life out! Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read and review, as always. Enjoy! Rachel x**

"Rock a bye baby, on the tree top", Ronnie sang sweetly into Amy's ear, cradling her tiny body securely within her arms.

Pacing the hospital waiting room before coming to stop next to a window, Ronnie allowed a smile to creep across her face as Roxy's child began to settle, "when the wind blows, your cradle will rock", she sang. Ronnie stroked Amy's cheek, now completely ensconced, staring into her wide, blue eyes.

Singing to Amy felt almost an escape for Ronnie; this Amy could not answer her back, couldn't push her away. This Amy hadn't been taken from her once, twice and now a third time. But she knew this wasn't her Amy, this wasn't what she had really longed for; she had longed for a baby for so many years, but now she longed to be with Danielle. Danielle was her Amy - Ronnie found this reality almost impossible to comprehend. Danielle was so impossibly beautiful, so untouchable, always so near but yet so far away.

Ronnie, her back turned away from the waiting room, did not notice Jack stand to his feet, approaching her cautiously from behind. Roxy was still worried that Jack would be insensitive, say something wrong, but she was so sick of his ignoring her requests, she let him be. Watching on, she saw Jack arrive at Ronnie's shoulder, but, still entranced by Amy's now sleepy head as it lay against her chest, Ronnie remained oblivious.

"When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall", Jack whispered into his baby's ear, Ronnie hearing every syllable as Jack placed a hand upon her shoulder, "and down will come baby, cradle and all". Before he had the chance to stop, Jack heard the lines of the song in his head, realised their awful significance, and regretted his action immediately. Without turning, Ronnie's body stiffened as she too heard the lullaby finished by Jack.

"Down will come baby, cradle and all"

Clearly aware of Ronnie's change in mood and of the stiffening of her back at Jack's touch, Amy began to cry. Ronnie swiftly pulled away from Jack, marching back towards Roxy; as she reached her sister, she held Amy out to her, sighing.

"I think she wants her mum", Ronnie stated, trying with all her might to avoid catching Jack's eye from across the room.

"What did he say Ron", Roxy asked, rolling her eyes, having watched the short exchange between her sister and the father of her child and knowing full well that she should've tried to stop him.

"Nothing". The sides of Ronnie's mouth rolled up in a fake smile, as she watched Roxy successfully calm Amy within seconds, "she just wants you, doesn't she?" She gave a small laugh, "who'd blame her?"

"Oh, I dunno", Roxy shook her head. She wasn't sure whether Ronnie had meant her question rhetorically or not, but thinking of an answer that would make Ronnie feel better about her own situation proved difficult, so she decided against finishing, preferring to rub her nose against Amy's instead.

"No really, she's a lucky girl Rox", Ronnie mused, as she retook her seat at Roxy's side, "She's got you, me…" she didn't finished. Looking across the room, she saw Jack, still lingering next to a vending machine, finally having decided it would be best to leave Roxy alone with Ronnie for a few moments.

"Jack", Roxy turned to Ronnie, who was clearly still staring at Jack, finishing her sentence for her, with an awkward smile, "Look Ron, I'm sorry he's still here, I don't know what he's playing at. He said he would just drive us. That's the only reason I agreed, he said he'd disappear"

"He never was one for telling the truth…", Ronnie snapped, but then thought better of finishing the speech she had planned in her head. She hadn't meant her statement to sound quite as harsh as it did; really, she didn't mind Jack being around. Seeing him with Roxy's child was difficult, of course, but she had heard him in the car. He really did sound like her cared, like he wanted the best for her, even for Danielle. But still, at the back of her mind she couldn't help wonder if it was all another game, another ploy, another chance to feel in control.

"Look Rox, I don't really care if he's here or not. It's Danielle I'm worried about", Ronnie spoke the truth this time, her tone absolutely sincere. Danielle really was the only person who mattered to her at that moment. Whether Jack was there to look out for them, or if he had some ulterior motive, she didn't care, so long as she would soon be able to see her daughter again. She longed for just one more moment in her presence; she longed to be by her side, to hold her hand. More than that, she longed for days far into future when they could be mother and daughter together; when they would eat at the same table, sleep in bedrooms next door to one another, leave the house together in the morning, even share the same toothpaste.


	29. Chapter 29

One hour had passed since Ronnie, Roxy, Amy and Jack had arrived at Walford General Hospital, just in time to see an injured Danielle wheeled from her ambulance into emergency resuscitation. Ronnie, quite understandably, had found it extremely difficult to watch her estranged daughter removed from an ambulance, sheets covering her body, a neck brace attached, injuries to her face and legs prominent. During the past sixty minutes, which had felt like far longer for all parties involved, Ronnie had yo-yoed between immediate frenzied hysterics and incommunicative silence.

Now she sat next to Roxy, watching intently as she comforted Amy, although trying hard not to catch her eye, not wanting to let her know she was being watched. Jack sat opposite the pair, in turn watching Ronnie's changing facial expressions; he could tell she was trying to keep her infamous shield up, to hide her real feelings; but every few minutes she would lose her ice cold, impenetrable exterior, things becoming too much, and her eyes would fill up once again with sadness and longing. Seconds later, however, she would shake her head, scrunching her eyes closed to remove any lingering tears, before opening them again, steadying herself, and returning to watch Amy and Roxy.

Turning towards her sister, slightly taken aback by her intent stare, Roxy gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, before standing to her feet, "Do you mind if I take Amy for some fresh air, Ron? It's so stuffy in here; she might calm down if I take her for a bit of wander?"

Walking towards Jack, Roxy looked at him, her eyes widening and her head tilting quickly to the side, asking him to follow her. Saying nothing, he got to his feet and followed until out of Ronnie's earshot. Ronnie could tell Roxy had taken Jack away to talk to him; Roxy never had been the best when it came to tact. But Ronnie chose not to watch their exchange; partly because she didn't really want to know what they had to say to one another, partly because she still found it difficult to see Jack with Roxy and their child, their little family, but mainly because she wanted to remain focused on thinking about her own daughter.

Ronnie played the few words she had heard during Danielle's phone call over and over in her head, trying to work what had happened in Andy's car; trying to pinpoint the second when Danielle had realised something was wrong. Her tone had been so absent, so distant, it was difficult to decipher what had been Danielle's reluctance to talk to Ronnie, and what had been sheer horror on Danielle's part.

"I can't" she had said. _Those two words again_, Ronnie thought.

Roxy had now cornered Jack just beside the door to the hospital waiting room, taking the opportunity to invite him to leave for the third or fourth time now, "Don't you think it might be about time to leave now Jack?" Roxy asked, a glare in her eye, "You've done your bit. Me and Amy can look after Ronnie now".

Jack sighed, "I just want to make sure everything is ok, alright Rox?" As he spoke in his soft, dulcet tone, he stroked his daughter's cheek, giving her a smile, which was clearly meant for Roxy as well as Amy.

Annoyed at Jack's blatant attempts to use Amy as a tool, Roxy began to speak in a raised whisper, as forceful as she could manage without Ronnie being able to hear, "Look, Jack, I only agreed to let you drive us here because you said you'd leave straight away? Ronnie clearly doesn't want you here, does she?" The pair turned to Ronnie; she was still staring absent mindedly at the floor.

Roxy continued, "It's a little late for your concern, don't you think? If you were really that worried about Ronnie, about Danielle for that matter, you'd have been to see Ron already"

Roxy felt just the slightly bit hypocritical shouting at Jack; after all, it was her fault that Ronnie and Jack had fallen out in the first place. If it hadn't been for her then Jack would probably still be with Ronnie, he probably would've been sat by Ronnie's side right now, playing the dutiful boyfriend. But, he wasn't and he couldn't, and it was her job to get rid of him.

"Why are you here anyway, Jack. Tell me that?" Roxy, determined to make things as easy as possible for Ronnie, had Jack almost backed up against the wall now, using the force of her body as much as she could manage with a child nestled in her arms, "Are you here for Danielle? 'Cos that's who Ronnie cares about right now. No-one else, Jack. Not you; not even me".

She paused, her finger pointed in Jack's direction, "And that's exactly how it should be"


	30. Chapter 30

Unable to ignore the exchange between Roxy and Jack any longer, their voices – especially Roxy's – now raised so that half of the waiting room could hear them, Ronnie was forced to look up from the floor, and turn her head in their direction. She could see Roxy was trying to get through to Jack, and her position, just about pinning him against the wall, was almost amusing – she had a baby in her arms, he towered over her, and yet he seemed almost scared by whatever Roxy had to say.

Finally, Ronnie watched Jack shrug his shoulders and Roxy back away ever so slightly, allowing Jack to pass her and walk towards the door on the far side of the room. Watching him go, Ronnie felt a pang of sadness; another person walking away from her, another person she had lost, but still she was thankful to Roxy for trying. It was clear she wanted to do things right, and getting rid of Jack was obviously top of her list of priorities for keeping Ronnie sane. It was ironic, Ronnie thought to herself, that Roxy only had to get of Jack thanks to her own thoughtless actions, and that even with Jack gone, he still remained in the waiting room, perched on Roxy's shoulder.

But they were past that now, Ronnie sighed. Now only one person was important to her, and still she had been told nothing about Danielle's condition; still she knew nothing about Danielle's accident, the injuries she had sustained. What had happened to her father, she thought? Would Danielle want to see her? Did Danielle even remember their phone conversation?

Across the room Roxy watched as Jack left, only turning back towards Ronnie after the door closed behind him, and she could see him disappear into the distance. When she turned, she saw Ronnie looking in her direction and catching her eye, smiled back, hoping she had done the right thing. Watching her sister return the smile, Roxy gave a sigh of belief, before making her way towards the reception desk. Now she'd got rid of Jack, her next job was to find out where Danielle was.

Looking at her watch, she realised they had been in the waiting room for 60 minutes, but had still heard nothing. Waiting was something Ronnie had become quite used to over the past few days, but Roxy knew that the quicker she got to Danielle, even heard where she was, the better.

Roxy tried to block out thoughts of the state Danielle might be in, whether she would be able to see Ronnie at all; they had seen little of the injuries she had sustained in the few seconds her stretcher had been wheeled past, but it was clear she was in a pretty bad way. Shaking her head in an attempt to remove such thoughts from flashing across her conscious, Roxy reached the desk, catching the eye of the receptionist, before opening her mouth.

Certain that the woman who had just arrived at her desk was about the shout something at her, the receptionist sat up straight and flashed her well practised, welcoming smile. Roxy gave a fake smile in return, before leaning her free arm against the table in front of her and peering over the desk, attempting to get a glance at the reception computer.

"Roxy Mitchell" she stated, lifting her hand from the desk and holding it out for the receptionist to shake. The prim, proper looking woman sat at the computer behind the desk chose not shake Roxy's hand, instead replying simply, "Can I help you madam?"

"Well, let's hope so" Roxy replied, sarcastically, "We've been sat here for almost an hour now. The paramedic told us that someone would be out to let us know what was going on with Danielle straight away", she raised her eyebrows, "Danielle Jones" she added, pointing at the computer's keyboard.

"Are you any relation to the patient, madam?" the receptionist asked, still not reacting to Roxy's provocation.

"Yes, I'm her aunt" Roxy replied, "That's her mother over there", she turned and pointed towards Ronnie, who sat looking rather embarrassed on the other side of the room. Again, she was thankful that Roxy was trying, but she really didn't want to draw attention to herself. She wanted this to be as easy as possible; but clearly, it wasn't going to be.

"I'm afraid I can only pass information over the next of kin, madam" the receptionist gave Roxy a wry smile. Roxy returned the gesture with equally sardonic expression, before turning and beckoning Ronnie to join her. In seconds Ronnie had run to her side, realising that the receptionist might actually have something to tell her about Danielle's state, that opportunity spurring her into sudden action.

"Ronnie Mitchell, I'm Danielle's mother" she told the woman, in a quiet, considered voice, careful not to aggravate the situation any further. Even though she felt like shouting the woman down, forcing the information out of her, she couldn't help but think that keeping the hospital staff happy might mean she got to see Danielle sooner; even if this wasn't the case, everything she could do to speed up the process she would try.


	31. Chapter 31

The receptionist smiled warmly at Ronnie, clearly thankful for being spoken to politely, reassuring her, "I'll see what I can find out for you, madam". She got to her feet and disappeared out of a door to the back of the reception area, leaving Ronnie and Roxy waiting at the desk.

Roxy turned towards Ronnie, looking exasperated. She had been trying so hard, but somehow things never seemed to work out how she had planned, "How did you do that?", she asked her older sister, who had her eyes fixed on the door the receptionist had used moments before.

"It's called tact, Rox" Ronnie replied, "Something you wouldn't know a lot about". Ronnie raised her eyebrows at her sister. Thankful that Ronnie was talking at all, even more so that she had been able to attempt humour, Roxy shook her head, sighing, before taking a seat a few feet away from where Ronnie stood waiting. Beginning to tap her fingers against the desk, Ronnie watched the second hand of the clock tick, very slowly, while she waited, keeping her eyes trained on the door.

After only a few moments the woman Ronnie was waiting for so anxiously returned, followed by another figure dressed in hospital scrubs, who Ronnie presumed must be a doctor.

"Oh God, please tell me she's ok", Ronnie burst out suddenly; she could no longer keep her composure. Seeing a doctor with the receptionist, the seriousness of the situation suddenly hit her again; she had been trying so hard to block out the real reason she was sitting in a hospital waiting area for the second time in three days, but now multiple images of Danielle injured and hurting came flooding back.

Ronnie saw her lying on the roadside after she had been hit by Janine. This morphed into the horrible image of a car crumpled by the roadside, Danielle's body huddled within. The images were accompanied with the sound of Danielle's scream, amplified many times over. Shocked at her own thoughts, Ronnie threw her hand to her mouth as if these images made her feel physically sick.

"It's Ronnie, isn't it?" The female doctor asked, kindly, "Would you like to follow me?"

Hearing the doctor, Roxy got to her feet, but Ronnie immediately turned and shook her head; she was determined to do this alone, to be the rock Danielle needed, to be her mother. Sitting back down somewhat reluctantly, Roxy watched as the doctor invited Ronnie to follow her through a door labelled 'staff only'.

Ronnie thought this was a little strange, but did not question it, her mind focused on what she was going to do and say when she saw Danielle. She had realised upon entering the hospital again that she had been so concerned about being told she could not see Danielle three days earlier, that she had not even imagined what she might say if that moment ever arrived again. On the other side of the door, the doctor led Ronnie into a small consultation room, and sat her down on a chair, before taking another chair herself, almost directly opposite Ronnie.

"My name is Doctor Watkins. It's Ronnie Mitchell, is that correct?" the doctor still used her soft, kindly voice, but Ronnie was afraid that her tone indicated something had gone very wrong. She sincerely hoped that she wasn't being prepared for bad news.

"Yes, that's right" Ronnie replied, "I'm Danielle's mother. Please, I need to know what's going on. She is going to be ok?"

"There's every possibility she will be just fine" the doctor replied. Ronnie sighed, running a hand through her fringe; she hated the way doctors always insisted on beating around the bush.

"Danielle has been taken to surgery. But she is in very good hands, I can assure you" The doctor continued, smiling; she could see that Ronnie had begun to tremble.

Ronnie was eager to hold onto every word the doctor had to say, but at the same time could not bear to listen. Seeing this, the doctor gave Ronnie the most reassuring smile she could manage, "You're quite welcome to sit in here until Danielle returns from surgery; and your friend is welcome to join you if you would like" she offered, looking Ronnie straight in the eye.

"We will do everything we can for Danielle, I can promise you that".


	32. Chapter 32

"How long will she be?" Ronnie ventured, hoping the doctor would tell her that Danielle would be finished in surgery in no time at all, although fairly sure this would not be the case.

Ronnie felt slightly more relaxed at the doctor's assurance that Danielle would be well looked after, but still she felt like she knew nothing about her situation, about why she had been brought to hospital in the first place. She didn't know how the accident had happened; how fast had they been travelling? Whose fault had the accident been?

"Will I be able to see her?" she added, "You know, when she comes back?"

"Of course" the doctor replied, "Danielle will be admitted straight onto a ward after her operation; it shouldn't be too much longer, but I couldn't say for certain, I'm afraid. It is likely that she will be in hospital for quite a while, though".

Her face adorned with a serious look, she added, "I must warn you, Ms. Mitchell, the injuries Danielle sustained to her legs are serious. It was touch and go for a while, but your daughter is clearly a fighter."

Understanding these words were difficult for Ronnie to hear, the doctor renewed her smile, before adding, "I have every faith that Danielle will be back to normal in no time, but she'll need all the support she can get. I can tell you love her very much; she's lucky to have you"

Ronnie fiddled with Danielle's locket, tears now falling steadily to her cheeks, as she stared directly into the doctor's eyes, pleading for more information, "Please, is there anything else you can tell me about the accident? You know, how did it happen? How long did it take the paramedics to arrive?"

Tears continued to fall onto Ronnie flushed cheeks, "I can't bear to think of her there, all on her own"

"As far as I'm aware, the paramedics arrived very shortly after the accident, Ms. Mitchell", the paramedic jumped in, eager to comfort Ronnie, who now rubbed tears from eyes, desperate to keep her composure so that she could get as much information out of the doctor as possible, but also because she wanted so much to remain strong for Danielle.

"They did absolutely everything they could for Danielle".

Ronnie nodded, the gesture a physical expression of her attempts to process all of the information she was being told. It was quite true; she could not bear to imagine how Danielle must have felt, how difficult it must have been for her; alone, bleeding, in pain.

If only Danielle had not chosen to go home with Andy. If only Andy had not made it so difficult for her to see Danielle in the first place. She could have been there when Danielle woke up; Danielle might have believed her had she been there. Suddenly Ronnie wondered whether Danielle had thought of her after the accident; had she called out for her mother? Her adoptive mother? Or, had she called out for Ronnie?

Realising that these thoughts were nothing but selfish, realising that she was thinking about herself and not about Danielle, Ronnie suddenly remembered that she hadn't asked about Andy's condition? Where had he been taken? Was he going to be ok?

"Doctor, is there anything you can tell me about Danielle's father? He must have been in the car with her". Ronnie found it very difficult to ask about Andy, the man who had banned her from seeing her own daughter, almost mirroring the way Archie has removed Amy from within her grasp years before, but she had to know, even if only for Danielle's sake.

"Andy Jones?" she added. The doctor looked slightly startled at the question, "I'm not permitted to release that information, Ms Mitchell, I am sorry", she replied, shortly.

"Please", Ronnie beseeched the doctor "What happened? We haven't been told anything?" Ronnie's mind raced. What did the doctor's reaction mean?, "Please, I have to know. For her sake, for Danielle"

The doctor took a deep breath, and sighing, said, "I'm afraid Danielle's father did not make it". Rubbing her cheek with her hand, she finished, "His injuries were just too severe. He died at the scene, Ms. Mitchell. I am very sorry"

Ronnie's eyes widened in absolute astonishment; she had expected anything but the information the doctor had just delivered, and she was shocked at how much the news knocked her back. Looking away from the doctor immediately, Ronnie fixed her eyes on the floor as she did whenever she heard bad news, attempting with all her might to regain her composure, to get her breathing under control.

Andy was dead. Danielle's father was dead. Did Danielle know? Had Danielle been all alone in that car? Forcing herself to look upwards towards the doctor, Ronnie asked, her voice wavering, "Does she know? Does Danielle…"

Her voice trembled into a quiet whisper, as Ronnie imagined that it might now be her job to tell Danielle that her father had died. She stood to her feet and began pacing the room, her hand routinely brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

"Danielle was unconscious in the car, Ms Mitchell". The doctor now stood to stand next to Ronnie, placing her hand on her shoulder, worried for her deteriorating state of mind, "I am fairly sure she will be unaware of her father's death".

"Her father is really dead?" Ronnie asked, as if to confirm that it wasn't all an awful dream. She looked straight into the doctor's eyes, pleading for her to put it all back together, to make everything ok again like a doctor should be able to do.

"What if she doesn't want to see me? Oh God, What am I going to do?"


	33. Chapter 33

The doctor stared straight back into Ronnie's pleading eyes, wishing in earnest that there was something she could do to rebuild the life of the broken woman who stood before her. This woman must have been in her thirties, at least, but she was questioning her like a small child. Her voice was desperate, her face pale with worry, her eyes red and blotchy from crying.

"I am very sorry, Ms Mitchell. It will be entirely up to you how we take it from here". The doctor remained at Ronnie's side, a hand placed gently upon her shoulder, approaching the conversation with the utmost caution, knowing very little of Ronnie's relationship with Andy.

"If you would like to see Danielle, to tell her yourself then that is absolutely fine. But if you want someone to talk to Danielle on your behalf, that is fine also. We are trained…"

"No, I want to" Ronnie jumped in, sounding more resolute now, "It should be me. I need to be there for her". Ronnie dropped suddenly back down to her seat, unable to support her weight any longer.

"Is it ok if Roxy, my sister…is it ok if she comes to sit in here with me", Ronnie asked the doctor with trepidation. She didn't know what Roxy would be able to do to help her; in truth, the doctor could do nothing and neither could her sister. But Ronnie couldn't help but think that perhaps her presence would make things even the slightest bit easier. It certainly had done in the waiting room, whether Roxy knew it or otherwise. Ronnie wanted to see Danielle alone, but until that time Roxy clearly wanted to help her, and there was little she could do but acknowledge her efforts and try her hardest to let her in.

"No problem at all, Ms Mitchell. I'll ask her to come through now", the doctor nodded and bowed out of the room, leaving Ronnie alone.

Ronnie lifted her eyes slowly to watch as the doctor drew the curtain to the consultation room back and then pulled it shut again. Locating a single spot on the wall, Ronnie stared at it, as if trying to bore a hole into the wall with her eyes. What was she going to do, she thought? Danielle loved Andy; Danielle had chosen to go home with Andy, and now she couldn't. Now Andy was gone and Ronnie would have to put it all back together.

In a strange sense Ronnie knew that this was her time; she had waited all of her life for a chance to have her baby back, to have her baby all to herself. But Ronnie knew subconsciously that Andy being gone would not make things easier for her; it would not make the relationship between herself and Danielle any less strained. Ronnie knew she did not really have Danielle all to herself. In fact, Danielle was still so far out of reach. Instead of moving a step closer to her daughter, it felt like Danielle was being dragged further and further away.

As Ronnie berated herself for even thinking of Andy's death as a good thing for her own relationship with Danielle, the curtain to the room moved backwards again and Roxy let herself in, supporting a sleeping Amy on her shoulder. Seeing her sister staring straight ahead, tears falling to her cheeks, Roxy's heart fell as she wondered yet again what Ronnie must have been told to leave her in this state. The doctor had assured her that Danielle was still alive, but she had said nothing more, despite Roxy's demands to the contrary.

Moving to Ronnie's side Roxy kneeled, took her sister's hand into hers and squeezed it tight, unable to find any more words of comfort. The sisters sat like this for a long while, Roxy playing over her next move in her head, considering the various things she could say to Ronnie, but finding none to be sufficient. Ronnie did not take her eyes from the spot she had chosen to stare at on the wall, but every so often she would lift her free hand to wipe her cheeks clean of tears, simultaneously wiping her make up across her face. Each time she did this, she would attempt to quell her tears, sniffing loudly and sweeping her fringe out of her eyes, each time to no avail.

After a fair few minutes Roxy stood her feet and placed herself down on the bed on the opposite side of her sister. Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she folded it carefully into a square and began to wipe Ronnie's tears away herself, first the right cheek and then the left. Acknowledging Roxy's gesture with a move of the eyes in her direction, Ronnie stared up towards her younger sister but shook her head; she put her hand out towards Roxy's, asking for the tissue.

As she took it, she turned back towards the wall, shook her head, and cried "I can't do this, Roxy. I just can't"

"Of course you can do this Ronnie", Roxy encouraged, continuing to wipe Ronnie's tears from her cheeks, but this time with her thumb, "Danielle needs you, and you're going to be there for her".

"I can't Roxy", Ronnie still shook her head, but could not look Roxy in the eye, unable to get rid of the overwhelming feeling of failure that had begun to take over her whole body; her whole existence.

"I've waited all my life for this" Ronnie trembled, "But I'm not strong enough. I'm falling apart Roxy. I can't do this to Danielle"

Jumping from her perch on the bed, Roxy kneeled down in front of Ronnie before she had time to finish her sentence, "What if she doesn't want to see me Roxy?"

"Look Ron, you're the strongest person I know. I know you can do this. I know you'll be fine"

"How do you know Roxy?", Ronnie began to shake her head violently now, her voice raised, "You don't know Roxy. You don't know"


	34. Chapter 34

Ronnie's voice, now raised to a shout, resonated around the consultation room, bouncing off the walls; the curtain was still pulled shut, but the material was thin and every word exchanged between the girls could be heard out in the corridor. Watching her sister fall apart like this was difficult for Roxy; she knew Ronnie, and this was not her.

Ronnie was tough, Ronnie was strong, Ronnie didn't let anything get to her like this, but over the last few days Roxy had been forced to watch piece after piece of Ronnie's being heart torn away and thrown aside. Ronnie had been reduced to her rawest form and Roxy had become Ronnie's foundation, but she knew that she was not strong enough to hold her up all by herself. Something was always going to crack, and now it had.

Now Ronnie was shouting, screaming at her and she didn't know what to do about it. There was absolutely no point in telling Ronnie that she was wrong, in reassuring her that everything would be fine, because both Roxy and Ronnie knew that this might not be the case. That, in fact, the opposite was probably true.

But, as difficult as it was, Roxy didn't want to leave Ronnie and she definitely couldn't say nothing. With Amy still leant against one of her shoulders, becoming restless now thanks to Ronnie's increasingly panic-stricken state, Roxy tried her best to restrain Ronnie as she moved wildly in her seat, animated by her pain. Roxy wanted so much to pull Ronnie into an embrace, but she still held tight onto Amy with one arm and so was forced to stay back, using only the touch of her hand to comfort her older sister.

Ronnie's breathing had now become short and sharp. She had stopped trying to speak, her last words rebuking Roxy, telling her that she knew nothing about the situation and could not help her. But Roxy knew that she could, that she was one of very few people who would ever be able to get through to Ronnie; her and now Danielle. But Danielle was in no position to help Ronnie; in fact, it was Ronnie's job to help Danielle, and now Roxy's duty to put Ronnie back together. To build her up again so she would be everything that Danielle needed when she woke up.

When she was quite sure that Ronnie would not react violently to her again, and that her breathing was under control, Roxy ventured, "You're right, I don't know. I have no idea what you're going through, Ronnie".

She took a deep breath, finding it difficult to put her own thoughts and feelings to the side, in order to give herself over to Ronnie, but she knew she had to try, "But I want to help you. I'll be here for you every step of the way"

Roxy took a glance at Amy, "Me and Amy. You and Danielle. We're going to get through this, together, if you'll let me help. You don't have to do this on your own, Ronnie".

"But, I…" Ronnie still could not finish her sentence, her breathing almost under control but her brain unable to process the information she needed to tell Roxy.

"Andy…he", Ronnie choked, tripping over Andy's name.

"Ronnie, he's not going to bother you any more. He can't stop you seeing Danielle again, I'll make sure of it", Roxy promised, angry that Andy had once again thwarted Ronnie's thoughts of Danielle, her hand stroking Ronnie's cheek and angling her face so she could look her straight in her eyes.

"No, Rox, you don't understand", Ronnie knew she had to tell Roxy, but it had been difficult enough to accept in herself that she was now the only person who could really support Danielle; she needed to do so to start rebuilding things for Danielle's sake, but it would be one hundred times harder to translate this acknowledgement into words and to hear the terrible words spoken. But there was nothing else she could do.

Maybe admitting things to Roxy would make it easier to tell Danielle, she mused? Not very likely, Ronnie reminded herself, disheartened once again, but still a possibility.

Ronnie leant her elbows on her knees and rubbed her cheeks under her eyes, before resting her hands together and her chin upon her hands. Expelling a gust of air, she finally told her sister, who hung onto her every word, "He died Roxy. Andy. He's dead"


	35. Chapter 35

Ronnie and Roxy remained in the consultation room for over two hours more, both involved with their own thoughts, but each clinging hold of the other's hand. When Doctor Watkins returned with news of Danielle's condition she found a broken Ronnie, rocking backwards and forwards in her seat, trembling, with Roxy sat at her feet, still cradling her daughter in her arms. Doctor Watkins didn't want to interrupt, for fear of breaking the clearly fragile bond between the two women, but she knew she had to pass on the information that she now knew.

I t had been clear since her very first exchange with Ronnie that what this woman wanted more than anything was to see her daughter, and now the doctor could give her that opportunity, but she couldn't help but wonder if Ronnie was in any state to see Danielle. The woman she saw in front of her was clearly not strong enough to provide a secure foundation for a seriously ill young woman, whether Danielle wanted her to be there or not, but Danielle had no-one else and Ronnie's fragile state was simply a secondary result of Danielle's accident.

The doctor was used to seeing family members react badly in situations like this, especially those where the family were not involved in the accident and did not have the chance to see their loved ones before they were taken away for treatment, but she had seldom seen a reaction like this. Indeed, the pair of women in front of her had remained so entranced in their own circumstances that they were yet to notice that the doctor had returned.

Unsure how to draw attention to herself without breaking that bond she was so worried for preserving, the doctor eventually chose to take a deep breath inwards, before clearing her throat as carefully as possible. Despite her care, both faces immediately sprang upwards in her direction, their eyes begging for answers.

"Doctor…" Ronnie began, but she couldn't finish. Roxy stroked Ronnie's fringe from her face, catching her eye and reassuring her silently that it was ok not to say anything. Standing to her feet, Roxy approached the doctor, immediately reverting back to the role she has taken previously at reception. This time she was determined to do things right.

"Is everything ok, doctor?" Roxy began, planning each word in her head with vigilance before speaking, "Where is she? Can you tell us where she is?"

Ronnie held onto every word that Roxy spoke, waiting with baited breath for the doctor's response, "Please, doctor…", she asked, looking up towards the woman who she knew held her future in the palm of her hand.

"Danielle is out of surgery, Ms Mitchell" the doctor said, carefully, "She has been taken onto a ward"

Ronnie's mouth dropped open and she suddenly sat up straight in her seat, turning in the doctor's direction; Danielle was out of surgery, "I want to see her, please, doctor?"

"I can take you up to the ward now, Ms Mitchell, but Danielle is resting", she replied, "She's had a very difficult day. We need to keep her as relaxed as possible"

Ronnie nodded; things were going to be difficult, she knew she would have to give Danielle time, let things progress at her speed, and maybe that would mean waiting. But Ronnie would grab hold of every chance she was given. Danielle was awake, the doctor has offered to take her to Danielle's side, and even if that meant she had to sit and watch Danielle sleeping, then that is what she would do. She would sit and watch, hold Danielle's hand, keep her distance yet remain strong for her daughter.

She would be everything that Danielle needed, Ronnie told herself with certainty, momentarily forgetting the reason she had been so broken just minutes before. She would be the unbreakable force that held Danielle together, the force that built her daughter up and kept her strong. Ronnie knew that she would have to let down her own guard in order to provide for her daughter, in order for her daughter to accept her at all, but she also knew that her tough exterior could work to her advantage. That shield she had kept around her own being for so long could now protect Danielle. Ronnie knew that she couldn't let anything harm Danielle. She was within her grasp and she would never let her go.


	36. Chapter 36

Laying a hand carefully upon the door to Danielle Jones' hospital room, a young woman pushed the door back, careful to make as little noise as possible, so as not to disturb her patient, and shut it quietly behind her. Moving to Danielle's bedside, she lifted her fragile hand into hers, checking for a pulse, before laying it back on the bed, watching as each finger, small and curled, committed itself to the crisp, white hospital sheets. Next, nurse Jenkins rearranged the monitor attached to Danielle's index finger, which had been torn from its position as Danielle moved in her sleep.

Drifting in and out of consciousness, Danielle had shown signs of waking an hour before, but had not spoken at all; her eyes had opened momentarily, before closing again heavily as a sleepy child's might on a late evening. Danielle had been unaware of her own attempts to wake up from her anaesthetic, still feeling the effects of the drugs she had been given upon arrival to hospital and during her operation. Still she did not know where she was, still she had no answers and no wish to answer the why and where and who questions, which would soon come horribly to the forefront of her mind. But, it was only a matter of time.

As the nurse, Jessica Jenkins, finished her observations with Danielle, she glanced at the clock above Danielle's hospital bed; it read 12 midnight. All was quiet on the ward, and she had now finished her rounds, so she sat briefly down on a seat next to Danielle, thankful for a moment off her feet. Staring at the body of the young girl in front of her, all of the reasons she had decided to become a nurse came back to her; she had wanted to help people, help people who were hurting and in trouble. Danielle looked so helpless, so alone; Jessica had heard the story of her father, and squeezing Danielle's hand as she got to her feet, she prayed that it would not be her job to break the difficult news.

Turning back towards her patient before she left the room, nurse Jenkins watched as Danielle shifted onto her side, moaning loudly. The monitor she had rearranged seconds before removed itself from her hand once again, and Jessica sighed, smiling to herself, before moving back to Danielle's side. As she fiddled with the wire which had got itself caught under Danielle's small body, she noticed one of her eyes opening, just the slightest bit, before closing again almost as quickly as it had opened.

"Hello there, my love", Jessica said, softly, almost certain that Danielle would be able to hear her, but not so sure that she would respond, "Can you here me?"

Danielle moaned again, but said nothing, before shuffling her body into the middle of the bed. She had heard a voice, a female voice, soft and friendly, but she had no idea who it belonged to or, more importantly, where she was. She felt uncomfortable, her legs heavy and painful, her back twisted, her head sore, but in her groggy state, Danielle still didn't feel the need to ask what was going on, and kept her eyes shut, as this was a lot less effort than forcing them open.

Danielle's movements told the nurse that she had, in fact, woken up, so she continued to speak to her, "Just lay back for me, let's get you a bit more comfortable", Jessica told Danielle kindly, rearranging her sheets so they lay straight over her twisted body. Unconsciously, Danielle took hold of the sheet with both hands, which were tucked under her chest, and pulled it close to her body, hiding from the world around her; still she didn't know where she was, who was talking to her, but somehow she knew that she didn't want to know just yet. That she didn't want to face the world.

Pressing the call button above Danielle's bed, Jessica continued busying herself with organising her bed covers and sheets, reattaching monitors and taking various waking measurements and readings, as a doctor and another nurse arrived in answer to her call. Minutes later, Jessica heard another pair of footsteps along Danielle's corridor, which sat at a secluded end of her ward. Approaching the door, Jessica was surprised at the appearance of two women whom she did not recognise; one was a porter, Jessica presumed, while the other was a tall, blonde woman, who looked, even from a distance, to be in an awful state.

The porter reached the window to Danielle's room first, but as the tall blonde woman joined her outside she stopped much more abruptly, a couple of foot away from the door. Jessica watched a short exchange between the pair, before the porter left, leaving the other woman standing alone, now leaning all of her weight against the wall on the other side of the corridor. She did not take her eyes off the door to Danielle's room, and even from the other side of that door, which held a window covered with blinds, standing slightly open, Jessica could see that her eyes radiated pain and longing.

Behind her, Danielle was beginning to wake up properly, and had turned onto her back, before attempting to open her eyes. She could feel her breathing quickening slightly, out of her control, as she began to comprehend the words of the people around her. They were talking about her 'condition', her 'state', her 'monitors', and instinctively Danielle knew that that could mean only one thing. She was in that place again, she had returned.

Danielle could feel her hand being gripped within another, and suddenly she felt a shot of pain run like lightning down the right hand side of her body. Her eyes flew open, a sudden reaction to the pain, which she had been yet to feel so acutely since waking. The room around her felt small and dark, it felt like it was closing in. Danielle could see no further than the immediate space around her, her eyes still fuzzy, unable to focus.

And suddenly she could think of nothing but her mother. She remembered the car, the accident and bits and pieces of her rescue. But foremost in her mind was how she had longed for her mother; for Ronnie.

Where was Ronnie.

---

Staring straight towards the wall ahead, Ronnie suddenly felt a huge gulf of space open up between herself and the door in front of her; attempting to step forward, Ronnie could not move a muscle. Downstairs in the hospital waiting room she had been certain of what she was going to do and say when she saw Danielle, and as she walked up the stairs those thoughts of protection, of being Danielle's everything, had only intensified. But now her daughter was firmly within her grasp, she could not even bring herself to look through the window in front of her; she could see a couple of figures within the room, and she could see the outline of a bed to the centre. Open that bed lay a crumpled figure, but Ronnie could not bare to move closer and take in every detail of that person.

That person was Danielle; that person was her daughter, her child. And yet she felt helpless. All her life she had done nothing but hurt Danielle, even when she was so many miles away, and Danielle was completely unaware of who she was. Yet, now it was her job and her job alone to support her child. It was her job to be Danielle's mother. And it was all too much.

Ronnie turned away suddenly, and lay her head, within her hands, against the wall. Suddenly there was nothing she could do but run. And she did.


	37. Chapter 37

As Ronnie made her way quickly along the corridor away from Danielle's room, placing one leg in front of the other at an increasingly quickening pace, she tried with all of her being to justify her action to herself. But, there were so many things that Ronnie had not considered, her justifications were bound to be futile. Firstly, she had not considered the fact that it was midnight and she was running at full speed along the corridor on a ward caring for many patients, most of whom were probably asleep. In her state she did not think about waking them up. Furthermore, Ronnie had not considered her own weary state; that after a few steps she would not have the energy to continue running at such a speed, that she would have to stop and consider what she was really doing. That she could not simply run.

Most importantly, and intertwined with these other considerations Ronnie had not paid attention to, she had not properly thought about the damage she was doing to both herself and to Danielle, by moving away from her instead of towards her. Once again, it had all become too much for Ronnie; she wasn't enough for Danielle, she told herself. Why would Danielle want to see her anyway? She had sent her away before, why should she presume that she would be welcomed back so easily now?

It was easier, Ronnie thought subconsciously, not to give Danielle the choice. Not to give her the chance to reject her again. Ronnie reasoned that she was simply taking back the control of a parent; that it would be too much to expect Danielle to make that decision in her state anyway, and moreover, that it would be too much for her to be rejected again after all that had happened. Ronnie concluded that it was the best for both of them.

But Ronnie was not thinking straight. Ronnie had not really reasoned her decision to run. She had simply done it, a spur of the moment decision; all of the excuses in her head were just that. Excuses. But despite this truth, Ronnie continued to move at the same lightning speed, puffing and panting her way along the corridor, not taking any notice of where she was really going, just attempting to put as much distance as possible between herself and her daughter.

It was not long before Ronnie had to stop; she leant against the wall and breathing in heavily, tried to get her breath back. Ronnie was not usually an unfit person, but she had been awake for almost three days, and had eaten little in that time, and now the use of so much physical energy was just too much. Ronnie had expelled as much emotional energy as she thought possible over the last few hours, and now she felt completely physically drained as well. Ronnie suddenly thought back to days earlier, when she had chased Danielle through the streets of Walford, trying to catch her, wanting to tell her that she knew, that she believed her; that she loved her more than anything. Ronnie had made a pact that she would give every emotional and physical facet of her existence to get Danielle back. And now she had.

Danielle lay so close, within her grasp, but yet she was still moving further and further. In a flash, Ronnie realised that it was not Danielle moving away; it was her. But she knew Danielle could not chase her, she could not run after her and that made Ronnie feel safe. She wondered why, why it would be such a bad thing to be chased by the one person she wanted to be with for all of time.

Ronnie knew the answer to her question immediately.

Ronnie was safe away from Danielle. Safe in her own ignorance, safe away from wondering if Danielle would ever accept her, safe from finding out whether she would ever be enough for her daughter. Ronnie reassured herself that she was not being selfish, that she was thinking of Danielle before herself. If Danielle did not want to let her into her life then she did not want to force her into that decision; force her to make that awful choice. If she would never be enough to fulfil her daughter's every need then she should not try, for fear of ruining Danielle's life even further.

Ronnie had seen Danielle change over the past few months, and she knew she had done that to her. She loved her more than anything in the world, but sometimes the thing that you love is not the thing that you need. Of course, there was always a choice for Danielle. But the choice was 50/50; there was always a chance that everything would go wrong. Ronnie could not allow for that to happen. Danielle was not strong enough; she was not strong enough and she knew it.

Mixed up in her own thoughts, lost in her own world, wallowing in her own mire of self pity, it took Ronnie a number of seconds to hear her name being called along the corridor. The voice repeated the name over and over, perhaps five times before Ronnie heard, and registered that it was her name being called. It took her just seconds more to realise that the voice was coming from where she had just run, that it belonged to someone who had probably seen her bolt from outside Danielle's room.

Very slowly, her limbs shaking so that it was now extremely difficult to stand up straight, Ronnie began to turn towards the voice. She wanted so much to close her eyes and disappear, for the floor to swallow her up so she would not have to face the owner of the voice, but no such thing would happen and she knew it.

As she reached the end of her 180 degree turn, Ronnie caught the eyes of a nurse, who was shutting the door to Danielle's hospital room carefully as she made her way out into the corridor. Hearing her name one last time, Ronnie realised that the woman's voice had not even been raised that high; that she had only needed the slightest sound to wake her from her previous thoughts. But, she did not want to speak to anyone, to explain herself. She did not want to even think about the real reason behind the decision she had made to run away from Danielle, run away from her own daughter. Now she would forced to justify her decision, even if not to this person, to herself.

Did she have any answers? Ronnie did not know.


	38. Chapter 38

**Hello all! Sorry for the delay in updates this week. I've been really quite busy so have had little time to sit down and write, but I will try my best to get some more updates up by the end of the week. I hope you're all still enjoying what you're reading. Reviews and comments appreciated as ever. Rachel x**

Danielle kept a tight grasp on her bed covers with one hand, which remained pulled up to her chin; she wanted as much of the skin on her body to be covered as possible. The doctor had her other hand gripped tightly within her own, the contact sending a wave of pain throughout Danielle's body. "That's all fine, my dear" she told Danielle, as she measured her pulse.

As the pain brought Danielle back down to earth with a harsh bump, she could not keep her eyes shut any longer. It was still just as difficult to keep them open and Danielle still could not properly focus on what was going on around her, but she could hear someone talking to her, and it did not take long to work out exactly where she was.

This was hospital. This was the same place she had been just three days before. The room was so similar; the same grey, matted walls, the same clinical smell, the same dim light, the same tubes and monitors protruding from her body. Suddenly Danielle could remember what had happened to her; the phone, the accident, Ronnie.

But this time there was no-one there when she opened her eyes. No-one she knew; no faces that she could recognise.

The cruel actuality of the situation she now found herself in dawned on Danielle gradually, as her vision began to correct itself. As the walls and windows - the concrete reality of the space around her – came into focus, Danielle realised that she was alone again. She was alone, she had pushed everyone away. As a single tear fell to her cheek, Danielle admitted to herself that it was her fault; she had left Walford, she had sent Ronnie away, she had even been antagonistic to her dad, to Andy, a man who had given her everything she needed and never asked for anything in return. No wonder she was alone, no wonder everyone had left her, Danielle sighed, feeling another shot of pain down her left leg.

The doctor stepped away from Danielle's side, laying her had carefully down on top of the bed clothes, and moved to the end of her bed. As she wrote various notes onto Danielle's medicine chart, her eyes frequently flitted towards her patient, who had began to shake, tears streaming down her face. Sniffing loudly, Danielle asked, very quietly, as if scared to make her presence felt verbally, especially scared to utter the particular words she intended, "Where is she? Where's Ronnie"

The doctor turned her head towards Danielle properly now, and Jessica, who had been stood at the window, watching the arrival of a porter and a tall, blonde woman, did the same, "Ronnie? Who is that, my dear?" the doctor asked, with an air of concern.

Danielle looked straight down at the bed. The doctor had no idea who Ronnie was; that must mean that she hadn't arrived. She hadn't come looking for her. Did Ronnie even know she'd been in an accident – had she dreamt their phone conversation? No, it wasn't a dream. She could remember talking to her, she could remember. But, could Ronnie have hung up before the crash? Had Ronnie had enough to listening to her and hung up before she had a chance to hear what had happened?

The confusion was overwhelming; Danielle certainly could not answer the question, "Who is Ronnie?" She did not really know the answer herself. Any real mother would have been there for her. Any real mother would have been at her side when she needed it most. Danielle knew it was her own fault she was alone, but still she could not help but blame Ronnie. For not being there at that very moment; for not holding her hand; for listening to her three days before and leaving her with her dad.

"Is Ronnie a friend of yours?", Jessica asked, before turning back towards the window, through which she could see the blonde woman who had arrived moments earlier leaning all of her weight against the opposite wall and rubbing her tired looking, red face with her hands.

Danielle gulped, her eyes still trained on the bed and her voice shaking, "Yes, a friend. She's...that's right", Danielle hated herself for saying it, but at the same time, she was thankful that the nurse had given her a way out of her confusion. She hadn't had to work out what to say in reply, how to explain everything; she hadn't had to admit that Ronnie was her mother, and for that she was thankful.

Admitting that Ronnie was her mother, out loud, was something she was just not ready for. She had done it before, of course; she had told Stacey months ago. She had even talked to Archie about Ronnie, she remembered, with bitter resentment. And then there had been the Vic, she had told Ronnie. But here she was now, having bared her soul so many times; no steps further towards being reunited with her mother. Not really.

Only one person deserved to hear that admittance. But where was she?


	39. Chapter 39

Danielle nodded her head slowly, affirming for the nurse that in fact Ronnie was just 'a friend', but predominantly affirming for herself that she was not yet ready to speak the words 'Ronnie' and 'mother' in the same sentence. Not to anyone except Ronnie. Even for that she wasn't sure if she was ready. All in time, she thought, and it would take time, a long time. The doctor and nurse both noted Danielle's nod but also her hesitation, and, having exchanged a quick glance with her colleague on that note, the doctor caught sight of the woman who still stood outside Danielle's room, leant against the wall in the corridor.

She stood now with her back turned to the hospital room, her head rested against the cold surface of the opposite wall, her eyes covered by her hands. She looked to be in a terrible state. Within seconds the doctor knew that this woman must have something to do with Danielle, and the nurse had thought the same. Turning towards her patient, but keeping one eye on the distressed woman outside, pleased that Danielle clearly could not see her, the doctor said, "We'll do what we can to find her for you, Danielle"

"Please, I need her, I need…", Danielle pleaded, tumbling over her words as she sniffed back tears, unable to fully put into words the longing that she felt for her mother, and yet, her utter distress that Ronnie was not already there by her side. The doctor smiled reassuringly, advising Danielle that she needed to remain calm and that they would do everything they could to find this 'Ronnie'; as good as ignoring the doctor, pulling her body into the foetal position, Danielle kept her eyes fixed on her bed sheets before clamping them fast shut. She did not see the woman outside suddenly turn on her feet and run, she did not see the doctor gesture for Jessica to open the door and follow as best she could, she did not see Jessica do as instructed, leaving the room to call after Ronnie. She did not see Ronnie stop and turn. She saw nothing, she heard nothing.

Her eyes closed, her whole face stinging with tears, Danielle tried with all of her might to block out the intense pain she felt throughout her body. She should ask for pain killers, she knew, but they would not help her in the way she really needed. Her pain was not restricted to her body and the tumour growing inside her mind was far more serious.

The few words she has spoken since waking had been all about Ronnie and that shocked her. Ronnie had been all she could see as she awoke from her slumber, the only image that seemed to be in focus, despite her absence. Danielle longed for Ronnie, and yet she knew that if she opened her eyes, she would once again be disappointed with what she saw, or did not see. So she kept her eyes closed, her mouth shut and her knees pulled to her chest, making her body as small as possible under the rough hospital bed sheets.

As Jessica shut the door to the hospital room carefully behind her, anxious for Danielle to be kept calm, she called out to the woman who had run away – she had not gone far at all. Jessica watched as she puffed and panted, one arm pinned against the wall at the far end of the corridor. This must be Ronnie, Jessica thought, and even if it wasn't, it would not hurt to try and stop her, check if she was ok, or even, to see whether she knew anything about who this 'Ronnie' might be; she had been stood outside Danielle's room after all. The porter must have brought her to Danielle for a reason.

Jessica called out the name again, a second and third time, but the woman seemed to pay no attention. She did not move from her spot, seeming completely entranced, staring at the floor beneath her with an almost maniacal stare. Jessica wasn't sure whether she should approach the woman, so before moving, called the name out once more, this time a little louder.

Suddenly the woman stood up straight; she had definitely heard her name, yet she remained looking away. Jessica cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed and now unsure what she could actually say to the woman, who seemed a little intimidating even from such a distance and watched as she began to turn slowly in her direction. Her eyes were glazed over, but yet they caught her own so suddenly and with such a force that Jessica had to look away for a second.

Turning back again, her hand rubbing a cheek, she began to take steps towards the woman. "Ronnie", she asked. The woman nodded, but did not speak. Her eyes suddenly darted back to the floor and stayed looking downwards, just as Danielle had done, Jessica noted. Her feet remained rooted to the spot as she was approached.

Reaching the woman's side, Jessica told her, "My name is Jessica. Are you Ronnie?", her words were carefully considered, so she was quite taken aback by the hostile reaction she received.

"Yes, I am. I nodded didn't I", Ronnie snapped. Backtracking, and with a slightly less severe tone, Ronnie added, "I'm sorry, I don't know what's come over me". It was true; Ronnie had no idea what had come over her. She had chosen to run away for her own child, again, and now she had to face it. Face what she had done head on and it was not easy at all. All her life she had spent trying to come to terms with her first decision to run away, to give her child away and not fight for her; she hadn't fought hard enough, Amy had deserved so much more, even if she had only been 14 years old. She had been old enough to get pregnant, she told herself repeatedly, so she was old enough to make her own decisions. She should have made that decision count, and she hadn't.

She had promised herself that every decision she made from then on would count; she would make the right decisions and do it for her daughter. Yet time and time again she had failed. Now she had failed at the most important point in her life; she had made the wrong decision. She had turned away. She had run.

Yes, she had stopped. Yes, she had turned back. Yes, she could still go back to Danielle. But would it ever be enough, Ronnie wondered? Would she ever stop making the wrong decisions?

Ronnie's eyes had glazed over once again, and Jessica knew she had to tread extremely cautiously as she continued, "Is everything alright, madam?" Jessica watched as Ronnie's whole body twitched and waited for reply, but none came. She must have come to see Danielle, Jessica thought; this couldn't just be a coincidence, but why was she acting so strangely? Danielle had asked for this woman, but she didn't look as if she wanted to be anywhere near the girl.

"Maybe I should leave you to it. Sorry to have disturbed you", she told Ronnie, before turning to walk away. Once her back was turned, she signed, disappointed that she was no further to bringing Danielle the one person she had asked for, and equally curious as to the reason for Ronnie's obvious distress. But, as she began to walk she heard a trembling voice behind her pipe up, "Danielle. Is she…is she going to be ok?"

Ronnie's eyes caught Jessica's as she finished, "Can I see her? Please?"


	40. Chapter 40

Before she had but the faintest chance to stop herself the words had rolled out of her mouth. After all of the anguish and longing and torment, all of the questions of worth spilling around in her mind, she had asked to see her daughter again, and by the look in reply on the nurse's face, now was indeed her chance. All of the rationalisation and reasoning for her running away now meant nothing – she had asked to see Danielle. Above it all, above all of the problems and obstacles between herself and her daughter, all of the barriers that had stood in the way for nineteen years and would continue to forge a path between their lives, above all that lay the love of a mother for her child. It was still going strong – despite her reservations, despite her urge to run, not to leave Danielle alone, but to save her and save herself – the longing to be close to her flesh and blood remained.

The smile that had told Ronnie that this was her chance with her daughter grew across Jessica's face even further. She now walked back towards Ronnie who had not moved from her spot, but had turned in the direction of Danielle's room, her body language noticeably more open but her eyes still glazed, and her expression still one of complete terror.

"Yes, you can see her", Jessica assured Ronnie, "She has just been asking for you", she added.

Ronnie was astounded, "She asked for…Danielle asked for me?", she had began to speak very quickly now, her words tumbling out of her mouth at the same erratic speed as the meaning of the nurse's words registered in her mind, "Oh God, she asked to see me? And I wasn't there".

Ronnie looked at the floor, "I ran away. She wanted to see me and I was going to leave"

"But, you didn't leave", Jessica said plainly, reaching Ronnie's side once again and placing a hand upon her shoulder, "Danielle's well-being is our highest priority of course. If you want to see her maybe a few moments to steady yourself would be a good idea".

She spoke with the utmost caution to Ronnie, who she still felt slightly intimidated by, but the woman seemed to appreciate her sentiments, and nodded. Jessica continued, "Danielle has been through a lot, she could be here with us for a while"

Ronnie's breathing suddenly hitched, and she let the trapped air out in a deep exhalation, "It's really important she has her friends by her", Jessica assured Ronnie.

"Her friends", Ronnie said, not directing her words at anyone in particular. Jessica couldn't tell whether it was a question or a statement, "She needs her friends. Yes, of course she does"

"I must check whether Danielle is up to having visitors" Jessica warned and Ronnie nodded, watching on intently as the nurse walked back towards Danielle's room. Instinctively she followed, reaching the door just seconds after the nurse had closed it behind her. Her first instinct was to fasten her eyes shut, to rush to the opposite wall and avoid looking at her daughter, but she had come too far for that.

So, peering carefully through the cracks in the window blinds, Ronnie set her eyes upon the curled figure of her daughter, huddled to the centre of her hospital bed. The white covers were pulled up tight over her body, but it was clear that one leg protruded down the length of the bed, presumably her injured leg. The rest of her body Danielle had pulled tightly into her chest, with just her face jutting out above the blankets. Ronnie couldn't make out whether her eyes were open or closed, but she hoped for the latter. Somehow a sleeping Danielle would be easier to encounter; she wouldn't answer back, and Ronnie could sit and listen to her breathing, watch the rise and fall of her torso as she breathed, and talk to her, explain things, without worrying that she was doing something wrong or that Danielle would send her away again. Of course, it would only be a matter of time before she woke again, and indeed, perhaps she was already awake, but that smallest ray of hope was enough to spur Ronnie on.

Ronnie lay her hand on the window, as she had done three days earlier, after Andy had sent her away. Why was this time so much more difficult? Then she had longed to be accepted again, longed for Andy to let her see Danielle. Now she had that opportunity; now nothing stood in her way and Danielle had even asked to see her. This was exactly what she wanted, yet the most difficult thing she would ever have to do in her life. Difficult because she wanted it to be perfect, yet impossible because it could never be that way.

No-one stood in her way now because Andy had gone; Andy was gone and she would have to tell Danielle that. It was only a matter of time before she would ask what has happened to her father, and then Ronnie would have to deliver the dreadful news. How would Danielle react? Would she even believe her?

As Ronnie played over the possibilities in her mind, Danielle's body twisted around in her direction and she jumped backwards from the window, almost as if she had received an electric shock from seeing her move. Still she could make out the figure on the bed, and now it was clear that Danielle had seen her. Rushing back to the window she placed a hand upon it again, adamant that Danielle would see her do this as well. She her return, she her reach out towards her, even if a pane of glass stood in the way.

Both the doctor and nurse now made their way towards the door. It was opened, and both passed by Ronnie, saying something about leaving Danielle to sleep in a few moments, but Ronnie did not pay attention. Moving just to let the doctor and nurse past the door, Ronnie kept her eyes rooted on Danielle. Her daughter's face was staring straight down at the bed, but Ronnie kept her eyes gazing at Danielle's with a look of love and longing, so that as soon as she moved Danielle would know that Ronnie wanted her and loved her and was there for her. But she did not move, she did not look up. Even after Ronnie had entered the room and closed the door behind her, Danielle said nothing and the only sounds that could be heard were the laboured gasps of breath from each woman, one mirroring the other.

"Danielle", Ronnie said eventually, taking baby steps to her daughter's side, "Danielle, it's me. It's Ronnie"


	41. Chapter 41

The walk from the door to the bed, to Danielle's side, seemed like a marathon for Ronnie; like a trek across the fiercest desert, towards the most beautiful oasis she could ever imagine seeing. As she walked the maybe three or four steps to Danielle's bedside, Ronnie kept her eyes fixed on her goal; on her daughter's face, which protruded from under her covers, her eyes clearly open but forcing themselves to look downwards so as not to catch Ronnie's eye. Ronnie kept her own trained open Danielle's, willing her over and over to look upwards in her direction, but she did not. Ronnie could see that tears were falling from Danielle's open eyes, and a patch of salty water had begun to collect just underneath.

As she reached her destination, Ronnie took a second to think over the best thing to do and say, further than letting Danielle know that she had arrived, that she had come back, yet it took but a few more short seconds to realise that any amount of consideration would be nowhere near enough to predict the reaction she would get from Danielle. Her daughter was confusing, unpredictable and guarded; exactly like she was. Ronnie knew she done this to Danielle, that she had thwarted her own reunion with her daughter by forcing her into this state of confusion and upset. Now only she could pull her back out of it, or send her falling even further.

Still unsure what would be the best move at that moment, but certain that what she wanted more than anything was to be physically close to her daughter, Ronnie decided to crouch down next to the bed, so she could attempt to look into Danielle's still open eyes. Kneeling at her side, Ronnie's shoulders and face stuck out from above the height of Danielle's sheets, but her eyes remained averted and still Danielle had not spoken. Ronnie played over the list of banal statements she could make to assure Danielle that everything was going to be ok, but none seemed to suffice, and indeed, their banality was so pointed that Ronnie thought it better at that moment to remain silent, letting her presence do the talking.

Now Ronnie could see Danielle's face from the distance of a foot, it was even more striking how much she had suffered. There were blood stains across both of her cheeks and her eyes were red, raw from crying steadily for hours on end; just like her own, Ronnie thought. It was horrible how the most obvious similarities between herself and her daughter were the last things she would want to see reflected in her offspring; her tears, her guardedness, her heartbreak.

As a strand of Danielle's hair fell in front of her face, Ronnie immediately moved to push it back again; less because she wanted to ensure Danielle's comfort, but more because it guarded her view of Danielle's face. But, as she went to sweep the blonde locks from out of Danielle's eyes, her fingers brushed across her stained cheek, filling Ronnie with an intense feeling that she had not felt for years – not since her baby had been placed into her arms. A strange warmth and closeness came over her, accompanied with the longing to pull Danielle's body as close to her own as possible. Even earlier when she had held Danielle's hand she had not felt this king of longing; it was both beautiful and painful, as she knew that Danielle was not ready for that kind of contact; not ready to be smothered by her mother.

Indeed, it had appeared until this point that Danielle was still not ready to even acknowledge Ronnie's appearance, despite asking to see her; but now, having felt the fleeting touch of Ronnie's hand against her cheek, she could no longer force herself to block her mother out. Her whole body felt a rush through it like electricity; her hands began to shake and could not keep their tight grip on the bed sheets, which she had been trying hard to keep as a casing for her whole body. As the sheets began to fall from their position covering Danielle's fragile figure, Ronnie could see that her whole body was shaking; shaking from the effort of putting up a shield, presumably to try and keep her out.

At first Ronnie had not been able to understand why Danielle would be trying so hard to force her away, having asked for her just moments before, but then she considered what she would have done in the same situation. She was years older than Danielle, supposedly with years more experience of the world, but yet she knew she would do exactly the same. She would put up her guard and block things out; if it had been the other way around, Ronnie was certain she would be happy to see Danielle, happy for her presence, but anxious not to let her too close, for fear of what might happen. Indeed, Ronnie knew that just minutes before she had done exactly as what Danielle was doing at this moment; she had been so near to her daughter but had attempted to block her out. It was frustrating of course, it was painful and sad to watch such an absent Danielle, but Ronnie knew it was understandable. Totally and completely understandable, and so much like what she would have done that there was nothing she could do about it.

However, as Danielle's body began to shake more and more violently, it became too much for Ronnie to hold back from speaking, and her position kneeling on the floor next to Danielle suddenly seemed like miles away from her daughter, so taking up residence perched on the bed next to her instead, Ronnie tried to soothe her daughter's shakes, "Come on Danielle, come on my love, it's Ronnie. I'm here now"

Completely unaware of whether this was what Danielle would want to hear, whether these words were what Danielle needed to calm her down, Ronnie continued, with little knowledge of what else she could try, "Shush, Danielle. Come on, shush, it' going to be ok". As she spoke, Ronnie stroked her daughter's cheek again, pleased that this time, after a few moments, the contact began to quell Danielle's shakes, rather than worsen them. Ronnie knew that the touch of her hand had thrown Danielle in the first place, but was equally pleased that now it seemed like she had been able to calm her. A step forward, she thought, miniscule in comparison to the huge chasm of space they still had to cover, but a step forward nonetheless.

Finally, for the first time since Ronnie had entered the room and mother and daughter had been together again, after what seemed like hours to Ronnie, Danielle moved her face upwards to acknowledge her mother's presence. Her eyes caught Ronnie's, which had not moved from their position trained on Danielle's for the whole time she had been in the room, and without speaking, she had conveyed how difficult it was to be in that position, sitting next to Ronnie, her mother. Seeing the movement of Danielle's face towards hers, this acknowledgement having been just exactly what she had been willing, Ronnie was devastated to see the pain in Danielle's eyes, but not surprised in the least. Yet, Ronnie knew this was another step forward; Danielle knew she was there, Danielle had not shouted or told her to leave, and she had managed to calm Danielle enough for her to feel comfortable to look her in the eye.

All Ronnie could do in return was smile; a smile of warmth and comfort, of longing and love and hope. As she continued to stroke Danielle's cheek, wiping her tears from her face as quickly they fell, she told her daughter, "I'm here now Danielle. I'm not going anywhere. So long as you want me here, I'll be here"

"Mum", Danielle said finally, under her breath, but moving her hand so that she could squeeze Ronnie's within her own, and allowing her head to fall just slightly so it rested against Ronnie's chest. Ronnie saw the movement of Danielle's hand, felt the contact of her body and had never felt happier, "Baby", she replied, taking her other hand into her own, so that mother and daughter were hand in hand, entwined one next to the other.


	42. Chapter 42

**Hello everyone. Sorry for the awful frequency of updates recently! I've not been too well and had to go into hospital yesterday, but am out again now and trying to do some writing. I hope you're still enjoying the story – it feels maybe a little slow at the moment. If people have suggestions of where I could take the story then please drop me a line. Reviews much appreciated as ever – thanks to everyone for your feedback; it is always wonderful to read and respond to. Happy reading. Rachel x**

Ronnie held both of Danielle's hands firmly within her own; one pair lay on the bed, the other lifted to Danielle's cheek so that Ronnie could use her thumb to wipe away her daughter's tears. She could feel Danielle's heart beat as it pounded inside her chest and her hands felt clammy as she gripped them tightly within her own. The look she had seen in her daughter's eyes before they had exchanged those two heartbreaking words had told her that this was a very uncomfortable situation for Danielle to be in, but Ronnie had been seduced by her daughter reaching out to hold her hand, and now could not let go. She had her baby back within her grasp; this was what she had dreamed of for years and years and it seemed almost too good to be true. Of course, it had been easy for neither to get to this stage, but the fact that she was now holding her daughter in her arms was almost dreamlike, and so she held on tight.

So dreamlike, that is, that mere seconds after she had looked upwards towards her mother and offered her hands into Ronnie's, Danielle had pulled back again. Not completely - Ronnie still held Danielle's hands and could feel her skin, cold and sweaty against her chest - but Danielle felt absent again. Her presence was not complete, she had not given herself over to Ronnie; she was not allowing her control.

It was almost more difficult for Ronnie to be holding Danielle like this than not holding her at all, so as she continued to wipe away the tears which still fell silently to her daughter's cheeks, Ronnie attempted to turn Danielle's face back upwards towards her own. Showing resistance, Danielle pulled against Ronnie's hand and suddenly not wanting to push her any further, Ronnie gave up and took her hand away reluctantly, moving it to cover her own mouth, stifling a sigh.

"I'm sorry Danielle", Ronnie said, not really sure what she was apologising for but almost certain that she had done the wrong thing in assuming that Danielle wanted to held by her mother. Somehow those three words seemed pitiful; they were nowhere near enough to say sorry for everything that Ronnie had done. How could they make up for nineteen years of neglect, even just seven months of rejection? But at that moment, Ronnie could think of nothing else to say; perhaps, Ronnie hoped, 'I'm sorry' would be just about enough to make up for pushing Danielle too far at that moment, for holding her hands too tightly, for trying to get too close too quickly. For one mistake in a catalogue of many.

Now almost sure that she had gone too far in taking both of Danielle's hands into her own, reading too much into her daughter's squeeze of her hand, Ronnie slowly unfurled her other hand from Danielle's. Instinctively, Danielle pulled her hand away from Ronnie's as she felt it move, and then her head away from her mother so that she lay uncomfortably, staring straight upwards at the ceiling.

Taken aback at Danielle's sudden movement, Ronnie breathed in heavily, before moving very slightly away from her daughter, ensuring that she stayed far enough away not to be intrusive but close enough to show Danielle that she was not going anywhere, "I really am sorry. I didn't want to push you", Ronnie choked, "I'm just so glad you wanted to see me". Ronnie now turned her whole body towards Danielle's, desperate to show her that she wanted to be there, that she wanted to hold Danielle's hands if that was what she wanted.

"But it hurts so much", Danielle said, very quietly, almost not loud enough for Ronnie to hear, still not looking at her mother.

Ronnie threw both of her hands to her mouth as she registered the words Danielle had spoken. Danielle was hurting; she was hurting. Danielle was physically and emotionally shattered and so was she. How could she pull Danielle through this? How could she support her child when she was just as ruined as she was, just as torn apart? Most pointedly, Ronnie knew she could not possibly tell this broken Danielle that her father had died.

"I know it hurts, my love", Ronnie replied, very carefully laying her hand onto Danielle's. This time she did not grip it tight, but allowed it to linger over her daughter's, enough for Danielle to be sure that she was still very much at her side, "But it will get better"

She couldn't tell her. She could not and would not allow it. Ronnie knew it was wrong; she knew that Danielle had a right to know. But she was not strong enough; neither were strong enough. She needed to be the one holding Danielle together, not tearing her piece from piece. She couldn't push her any further away or pull her any further apart.

"I'm going to make it better, Danielle", Ronnie said. Danielle did not respond, as she continued staring mindlessly at the ceiling, her hand lain unfeelingly under Ronnie's, but Ronnie continued, "Everything. Everything is going to be ok. I'll make sure of it".


	43. Chapter 43

Ronnie's hand lingered warily over Danielle's; she waited anxiously to see whether her daughter would accept her approach, as if testing the temperature of hot water with a toe before dipping a foot into it. Danielle's reaction was not immediate, she did not throw her hand around Ronnie's in receipt of her affection, but her response was definite. Ronnie could feel the skin of Danielle's little finger brush against her own, and at that moment, that small touch was enough to make Ronnie smile.

She had jumped in far too quickly open entering the room, diving head first into the water, assuming naively that her invitation into Danielle's hospital room was also an invitation to Danielle's heart. Of course, there had been parts of Ronnie that knew the complete opposite was true, that it would take Danielle years to truly let her in, but the other part of Ronnie had ruled; it had ruled, but had done so badly, without direction, without vision. Ronnie knew that she had to open her eyes, she had to look forward, consider the future. She could not just get lost the moment.

The future, Ronnie knew, was a scary place. What would the future hold? She did not know. Days earlier she had been oblivious to Danielle's identity; she had been just another teenage girl, another reminder. Now Danielle had become her everything; she was everything she had ever dreamed of, and she lay in the bed in front of her. Within her grasp. She was touching her, holding her hand. But, just as one week before she could never had guessed that this was what her future would hold, now Ronnie knew nothing about the next week, the next hour, even the next few moments.

In the space of five short minutes, Danielle had already held her close and pushed her away. Grabbed her hand, and let go of it once again. Her next movement could be to take a step towards Ronnie, or a jump miles away. Ronnie just did not know. What she did know, however, was that whatever Danielle chose to do, however their future panned out, they would be in it together. She would be there to support her child, to hold onto her, to guide her. That she knew without question.

As she held her hand close to Danielle's she made that promise, a promise to stand by her daughter, to make everything right, however difficult it might be. But Ronnie was forced to close her eyes as she spoke the words to Danielle, affirming that she would make it all better. Having her eyes open, watching her daughter's reaction was all she wanted, but far too difficult, because she knew she might not be able to keep her promise. She carried a huge burden, a choice that she had to make; one that would tear her apart. Tear them apart. Whatever decision she made Danielle would suffer and so would she.

Danielle listened intently to the words her mother was saying; she seemed so sincere, so loving. She still had her back to Ronnie, but as the words began to sink in she tightened her grip on the hand that her mother had offered. A sign of acceptance; small, perhaps even insignificant, but, she hoped, enough to persuade Ronnie to hold on. Sure enough, as she tightened her hand around Ronnie's she felt a comforting reply of fingers against her own. Danielle turned, ever so slightly towards her mother and whispered, "Thankyou". Danielle made sure not to catch her mother's eyes, so remained unaware that Ronnie had kept them clasped tightly shut as she made promises that she knew she could not keep.

Upon hearing her daughter's voice, however, they shot open again, the sound giving her a new lease of life. Somehow hearing Danielle speak made everything seem easier. Here was a young girl who Ronnie had to protect; a life in her hands.

"Thankyou for what", Ronnie asked, keeping her grip on Danielle's hand.

"For coming back", Danielle replied, her eyes creeping slowly towards Ronnie's. She felt embarrassed at her words, hardly understanding herself why she was saying them just moments after pushing Ronnie away. But, from the look on Ronnie's face, she knew she had said the right thing, for the moment.

"It's ok, Dan", Ronnie said, her body turned fully towards Danielle, her hand reaching to take Danielle's other hand back into her own, "Of course I came back. I'm your mum. I love you".

Danielle looked back towards the bed sheets, "I know", she stuttered, "But I, I shouldn't have…"

Ronnie beseeched Danielle to listen to her as her daughter turned her head away again, self conscious about the way she was talking in front of Ronnie, but just as anxious to hear her mother's reaction, "Shush, Danielle. You've not done a thing wrong. I came back because I wanted to. I came back because I love you. I should never have left".

Ronnie looked away suddenly; she was pleading with her daughter again. She had tried to explain herself three days before and had been sent away; she hadn't had the chance to explain why she gave Danielle away the first time, and here she was having to explain leaving for a second time. Remembering that it had nearly been three times, and disgusted with herself at how close she had come to devastating Danielle all over again, Ronnie took a sharp intake of breath before continuing, "I'm just pleased you wanted to see me again"

Ronnie stoked her finger gently across Danielle's turned cheek; no tears fell anymore, but Ronnie still felt as though she needed to wipe something away. She needed somehow to mother Danielle, to show her that she was there to pick up the pieces and that she truly wanted to do it all. That she had come back because she wanted to, whether or not it had been difficult to make the final step.

Ronnie could see that Danielle's eyes were drooping, and that her daughter's grip on her hand had loosened, so, she removed her hand from under Danielle's very slowly before laying it reverently back onto the bed, careful not to wake a now sleeping Danielle. From her uncomfortable perch at Danielle's side, Ronnie moved reluctantly to a seat on the opposite side of the room, facing Danielle's closed eyes as she slept. Ronnie kept her own eyes transfixed on Danielle's body, watching her as she twitched in her sleep, listening to the rhythmic patter of her breathing as she rested. This is how she wanted things to stay.


	44. Chapter 44

Jessica watched on from outside the room as Ronnie sat in her seat next to Danielle; she had to ask to Ronnie to leave, it was well past visiting hours and no-one else had been allowed to stay with patients on the ward, but she could see just from watching Ronnie now, and from seeing her reaction to Danielle earlier, that there was an unusual connection between the two women, which she did not want to break apart. Even as Danielle slept it seemed as though their whole beings were connected; Ronnie could not take her eyes off Danielle, her head seeming to move just the tiniest bit in time with the rise and fall of Danielle's body as she breathed in and out. But, Jessica could see that Danielle must be exhausted after her eventful couple of days, and now she was sleeping she knew she would not really be depriving her of precious time with her friend.

Pushing the door open, slowing slightly as it creaked in its hinges, Jessica entered the room. Ronnie did not take her eyes from Danielle, and Jessica was unsure whether she had registered her appearance in the room and chosen to ignore her, or if she was simply too entranced with staring at the young girl before them. Jessica put her hand to her mouth and cleared her throat, causing a startled Ronnie to jump almost full out of her seat, turning towards her with a finger pressed to her lip, warning her to be quiet.

Jessica found it almost amusing that Ronnie was asking her to be quiet, afraid that Danielle would be awoken from her resting state, as this was exactly the thing she had been asked to discuss with Ronnie. She needed her to leave so that Danielle could rest, but it seemed almost cruel to force her away. But, Jessica knew she had to stick by the rules of the ward, so beckoning Ronnie to her side she moved towards the door and held it open for the defeated woman to follow.

Reluctantly, Ronnie got to her feet and made her way towards the door. For a second she took her eyes away from her daughter, rubbing her hands against their sockets as she realised that she was almost as tired as Danielle, having not slept all night. In an instant, almost as if she had known that Ronnie was no longer watching over her, Danielle's eyes flew open. Her slumber had not been heavy, so she had heard the creak of the door opening, and the sound of cotton against plastic as Ronnie picked herself up out of the seat next to her bed. Almost as quickly as Danielle had awoken, Ronnie realised that Danielle was no longer asleep; that she had seen her get to her feet, ready to leave.

As Danielle twisted her body upwards towards the open door, Ronnie looked back in her direction, certain that she would not be following Jessica outside the door, "How did you sleep?" she asked in a whisper.

Danielle returned Ronnie's question with a watery smile, "Not very well". She sniffed, "You're not leaving, are you?"

Ronnie caught the nurse's eye quickly before returning her gaze to her daughter, "Of course I'm not leaving", she answered firmly. Ronnie could see the look of in relief in Danielle's eyes, and, knowing exactly the reason the nurse had entered the room minutes before, sincerely hoped that she would allow her even just a few more minutes with Danielle. The nurse sighed, "A few moments, ok? Danielle, you really need your rest and Ronnie here needs some too, I think"

"I'm quite alright", Ronnie jumped in, eager to let Danielle know that she would do everything she could to stay by her side.

"Even so, visiting hours ended hours ago", Jessica felt awful prising the two apart, but Ronnie was only a friend as far as she was aware, and rules were rules, "I'm sure Ronnie won't mind going to get you a few things, magazines, books…"

"Yes, thankyou", Ronnie chipped in. She shot a glance at the nurse, letting her know that she would comply, but that now she wanted her daughter back to herself. Ronnie watched on as Jessica nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Turning her head back towards Danielle, Ronnie assured her, "I'll be straight back as soon as I can. Is there anything you want me to bring you?"

Danielle did not reply; her eyes had fixed on the sheets for the hundredth time that day, and Ronnie sighed, realising that she had not only the huge task of explaining her own actions to Danielle hanging over her head, and the burden of letting Danielle know that her father was not coming back, but that she would also have to battle the reams other obstacles that stood in her way – nurses, hospitals, injuries, family - to reach a stage of happiness with her daughter that only a real mother could know.

Ronnie continued nonetheless, aimlessly listing things that she thought Danielle might like, "Are there any magazines you like? Books? Chocolate" As she spoke, Ronnie could see that Danielle had begun to cry, "Oh Danielle, please don't cry. I'm coming back. As soon as they let me back I'll be here, in this seat"

"I know", Danielle sobbed, "I just…"

"What is it, Dan?", Ronnie beseeched Danielle to let her know what was wrong; she felt helpless, alone even with Danielle at her side, "Nobody else cares. Nobody else wants to see me". Danielle shook her head as she spoke, hardly able to form her words.

Ronnie gulped, "Oh Danielle, that's not true. Roxy and Amy are waiting just outside, they're dying to see you", Ronnie stopped short, realising the significance of her words, "So many people love you Danielle. I love you, more than anything"

"My dad won't want to see me", Danielle wept, "I know he won't", tears were now streaming down her face. Ronnie swallowed, letting out a large sigh and apologising profusely in her head for the words she was about to speak. She was doing it for Danielle, she told herself, only for Danielle.

"I'm sure that isn't true, Dan", she looked down at her daughter, "Your dad cares for you very much"

"Then where is he, why isn't he here?", Danielle replied, her body shaking.

Ronnie, who had now taken her seat on Danielle's bed once again, shifted her weight so that she was closer to her daughter, able to retake her hands into her own, "Your dad loves you Danielle. I love you. You don't need to worry". Ronnie pulled the fragile form of her weeping child inwards towards her chest, wrapping her arms around her, unable to let her suffer alone any longer. She would tell her one day, one day soon, but for now she would comfort her daughter. She would put things right the only way she knew how; this was not smothering Danielle, Ronnie assured herself, this was protection.

Gradually loosening up at the feeling of her mother's warm arms surrounding her, Danielle allowed her body to relax against Ronnie's chest. Her tears continued to fall steadily, still she felt eerily alone, but somehow she also felt safe. Safe within the stronghold of her mother's arms, the mother in whom she was beginning slowly but surely to place her trust.


	45. Chapter 45

Holding Danielle's frail body within her arms, pulling her into a tight embrace, Ronnie made sure that she listened carefully for changes in the tempo of her daughter's breathing and watched for variations in the frequency of the tears falling to her cheeks; for any sign that this was too much for Danielle. Anything that would let her know when it was time to take a step back, when her daughter had been held for long enough. But, to her surprise, Danielle did not let go. She did not falter in her grip, her fingers staying wrapped around Ronnie's as tightly as they could manage.

Ronnie could see over Danielle's shoulder that Jessica had returned at the window, signalling that her time with Danielle was almost up. Closing her eyes, Ronnie allowed the warmth and comfort she felt at that moment to be imprinted within her mind, attempting to cement within her conscious the way it felt to hold her daughter in her arms properly for the first time ever; this would be a constant reminder of how much she loved Danielle. She would draw on these feelings in the future; remember how she felt right at that moment, how Danielle had held onto her tightly, how her fingers had returned to their position in an unwavering fist around her own hand. This feeling, this reality, would replace that distant memory of her baby from nineteen years before.

As the door behind her opened, Danielle realised that she was no longer alone in the room with her mother, and suddenly her body stiffened in Ronnie's arms. Ronnie's eyes shot open as the acceptance that had radiated from Danielle's body retreated, her physical body moving away with them. Anxious to read the signals properly, Ronnie allowed her to pull away, as difficult as it was to lose the moment that she had just shared with her precious daughter, but kept one hand close enough for Danielle to grab hold of should she want to. Much to Ronnie's delight, even though Danielle now moved her whole body back to the centre of the bed, her back resting against her pillows, she let one hand linger close to Ronnie's, their fingers still touching despite her reluctance to hold on to Ronnie properly.

Ronnie smiled at Jessica; she understood that she was just doing her job, and despite the intense longing she felt to stay at Danielle's side, she knew deep down that a little space was what both of them needed. She would not go far, she could definitely not go home now, but she knew that she needed to allow Danielle some space. "Sleep well, my love", Ronnie told Danielle, as she lifted herself up from the bedside, before straightening the sheets over her body, tucking Danielle in like a child.

"Bye Ronnie", Danielle said, sniffing, slowly taking her hand away from her mother's. "I'll be back soon", Ronnie promised, "Try and get some sleep and by the time you wake up I'll be here again. And I'll bring Roxy and Amy with me if you'd like that?" Danielle nodded in silence, and Ronnie smiled, before placing a kiss reverently upon Danielle's forehead. As she took a step back wards towards the door which Jessica held upon for her, she mouthed the words 'I love you' back towards her daughter; whether Danielle noticed or not she was not sure, but nevertheless, the words meant more at that moment than most she had ever spoken before.

Closing the door behind her, Jessica watched as Ronnie almost collapsed into the single plastic seat in the corridor opposite the room she had just excited. Out of Danielle's sight, Ronnie allowed her head to fall into her hands, although now no tears fell to her cheeks. Jessica felt a pang of sadness as she watched the woman before her, and wondered whether it was the right time to ask the questions that she needed to. Deciding that there really was no time like the present, and certain that it was best for Danielle to ask, Jessica ventured, "Ronnie, I wonder if you're able to help us with contacting Danielle's next of kin. We have some information to pass on, but we really need to discuss things with a family member".

Although slightly taken aback by the look of confusion that flashed across Ronnie's face, Jessica chose to continue nonetheless, "I suppose you've been told about the accident?" Ronnie nodded, "Only a few details", she replied, remembering that Jessica thought she was just Danielle's friend, "Danielle's next of kin. I…that would be me. I'm Danielle's mother". Ronnie stood to her feet as she spoke the words with an air of love and reverence for her daughter, limitlessly proud to now be able to say the one thing that she had longed to say for so many years.

"Danielle said you were just a friend", Jessica probed, the cogs whirring in her brain as she tried to work out who was who, and what was actually going on with her patient. Ronnie sighed, "Danielle was upset with me. It's been really difficult for her", Ronnie chose her words particularly carefully as she broached the subject of Danielle's father, "I know about Danielle's dad, if that's what you're talking about", she added quietly, "I spoke to a doctor in A&E, she told me that he died".

Jessica nodded, realising that Ronnie was telling the truth, and suddenly understanding why her reactions to Danielle had been so dramatic. "I want to tell Danielle myself", Ronnie assured Jessica, "but in my own time. In our own time". "Of course", Jessica said, smiling again, letting Ronnie know that she had heard and understood, and that she would allow her the benefit of the doubt for the time being at least, "But Danielle does need to know about her father"

"I know she does", Ronnie cut in, much more defensive now, her shield jumping back up around herself, but now also protecting Danielle as well, "Of course I know that. But I know my own daughter. I know when's right for her". Ronnie desperately hoped that she was right, that she did know Danielle, that she would know the right time to tell her, but somehow she doubted that her outward certainty was really warranted. Nevertheless, Jessica seemed to accept her words; she nodded, before turning back towards Danielle's room, entering it and closing the door behind her. Ronnie could see her talking to Danielle, tending to the wires attached to her body and already she was worried that she might let slip to Danielle that her father had died. Already she began to sink into a mire of uncertainty; should she have told her when Danielle asked? Had she missed the 'right' time? Or, had she told Danielle what she wanted to hear just to feel that fleeting warmth and comfort from her daughter?


	46. Chapter 46

**Hello all! Sorry it has been such a LONG time since I updated last. For a while I was mulling over whether to bother carrying on this story, hence the huge break. But then, today I decided to write this chapter at least, so I hope you like it. Please do let me know if you'd like to read more; what you like, what you don't. And thanks to those of you who are still reading. Rachel x **

Taking a final glance through the window at her daughter being tended to, Ronnie knew there was nothing she could do for now but turn around and go; she had to leave Danielle in Jessica's care, for her own sake as well as Danielle's. But, as much as she trusted Jessica to keep her word, to allow her to tell Danielle about her father when she was ready, the possibility of her letting slip what had really happened would not leave Ronnie's mind. It bugged her like a fly flapping around her ears, like a pest she could not get rid of. She knew there was no real threat from Jessica, and had she been sure that she had done the right thing in not telling Danielle in the first place, perhaps she would not have been worried at all, but at the back of her mind Ronnie could not help but think that she had probably done the wrong thing.

But how long could she put it off? How long could she avoid facing the truth herself, and more so, how long could she avoid explaining the truth to Danielle? How long could she protect Danielle from that truth, if protection was what this really was? Ronnie knew the answer wasn't 'forever'; that, in fact, she was sitting on a time bomb. Danielle would not be in hospital for much longer and she certainly would not always be prepared to accept the banalities Ronnie had offered as an explanation for her father's absence. She would want a proper explanation, and it would have to be soon. Once Danielle had slept, once she had been given time to wake up properly, she would want to know. That would be her right.

Tearing her eyes away from Danielle, Ronnie fixed them on the end of the corridor ahead of her. She forced herself not to look back, knowing it would be too difficult to move if she set her eyes upon her daughter once again. Brushing her fringe from her eyes, as if to prepare a clear path ahead of her, Ronnie placed one foot in front of the other and walked away from Danielle. She wanted to clamp her eyes shut as she walked across the ground she had covered in a sprint away from Danielle only a few minutes before, or rush back towards the room she had just left, but knowing that she would be returning to the same room in no time at all, Ronnie continued her slow but steady walk along the corridor. Reaching the lift, she stopped in front of it, pressed the 'down' button with a sigh, and watched it open. Climbing inside, she took the most brief of glances back towards the ward before closing her eyes tight.

Hearing the noise of the lift arriving at its ground floor destination, Ronnie opened her eyes reluctantly as the metal doors moved apart and she began to climb out, paying little attention to a blonde woman holding a baby, who was trying to enter as she exited. Snapped out of her daydream by the consequent collision with the woman and by a familiar voice, Ronnie jumped backwards, almost out of her skin. "Oi, watch where you're…Oh Ron, it's you", Roxy exclaimed, her tone slightly shocked as she realised who had walked straight into her, "Earth to Ronnie", she added, swiftly turning on her heels and waving her hand in front of Ronnie's eyes as her sister walked past her towards the hospital exit.

"Roxy", Ronnie answered, taking a breath quickly, realising who was shouting at her but not wanting to stop, "Sorry…I", she stumbled. "Don't worry, Ron", Roxy smiled, "No damage done, that's right isn't it Amy", she said, stroking Amy's cheek, as her little eyes welled up with tears, "Hey, shush, Amy", Roxy leant Amy against her shoulder, rubbing her back.

"So", Roxy ventured, her eyes wide and questioning, not sure how to broach the subject of what had happened upstairs; what had Danielle said? Was Danielle going to be ok? How had she taken the news of her father's death? Watching as Ronnie began walking away from the lift without a word, Roxy gulped, assuming that something must have happened for Ronnie to be leaving so fast, "Hey Ron. What happened? How's Danielle?"

Ronnie turned back towards Roxy; she had no tears in her eyes, but yet her face conveyed so much pain. "Danielle's going to be…she'll be fine. The doctor's said she's going to be ok", Ronnie replied, her balanced voice sharing no signs of the true emotions she felt, the awful uncertainty that plagued her.

Roxy paused to consider what she could say in reply; how to get Ronnie to tell her what was really going on, what she had said to Danielle, how she'd taken the news. She was worried about her sister, but also about Danielle – it was a strange feeling which she hadn't expected to experience. But Danielle was her niece, after all. Still, as much as she was confused by Ronnie's sudden appearance and as much as she wanted to know they were both ok, she was sure that her sister would have her reasons. If she had spoken to Danielle, they would probably both want some time alone; that would make sense. Even if she hadn't, the nurses had probably sent Ronnie away to have some sleep; Roxy could see that she looked awful, and she knew that she hadn't slept for days on end.

"That's good", Roxy said eventually, wanting so much for Ronnie to open up to her properly, "That's great, isn't it Ron?" Roxy asked, trying her best to sound reassuring, "Danielle's going to be ok. Your little girl's going to be ok?"

"Yeah, it's good news", Ronnie nodded, continuing on her path towards the doorway with Roxy following. Roxy sighed, slightly frustrated at how little she seemed to be able to get out of Ronnie, now having to walk considerably faster to catch up to Ronnie's shoulder, "And Danielle, how did she…? You know?" Roxy asked.

"How did she what, Rox?" Ronnie replied shortly, stopping to turn in Roxy's direction. Perturbed at the sudden strained tone Ronnie's voice had taken on, Roxy began to regret asking so many questions. She hadn't even had the chance to finish her sentence, but clearly Ronnie knew what she had been planning to say.

"Well, you know, how did she take the news?", Roxy probed, sighing, Ronnie's face gradually turning redder, "Is she ok? Did she…?"

"What do you think, Roxy", Ronnie asked her sister harshly, her voice raised as she snapped at Roxy's questioning, "What do you think? She's been in a serious accident. Her dad's dead. Of course she isn't ok. Of course everything is not alright. Why do you think I…", Ronnie choked. As she reached the end of her sentence Ronnie coughed, as if she did not have enough breath left to continue; really, she was just appalled at herself for trying to keep the truth from another member of her family.

In a way Ronnie was pleased that Roxy was there, that someone cared about her enough to stay, waiting around in a dreary hospital to see if she was alright. But most of all she just wanted to be alone; she didn't want to have to explain herself, to tell Roxy why she hadn't told Danielle. That she had been too scared to break the connection they had forged with such destructive news.

"No, you're right, Ron. I'm sorry, it's not my business right now", Roxy put her hand on her sister's shoulder, "I just wanna help though, Ron, remember that. And Ronnie", Roxy caught Ronnie's eye as she finished, "I'm sure you've done the right thing"


	47. Chapter 47

Ronnie tensed as she felt Roxy's hand grip her shoulder, as she spoke her words of consolation and encouragement. Ronnie knew that Roxy would get the truth out of her eventually; years of sibling rivalry and chivalry in equal measure had taught her sister exactly how Ronnie's mind worked, and it wouldn't take her long to realise that she was lying, that Danielle wasn't angry because she knew about her father. That she was, more than likely, sleeping soundly in peaceful ignorance.

Ronnie knew that Roxy was just trying to help, so why did she feel like she had to keep the truth from her as well as Danielle? It was because she had done the wrong thing, Ronnie was almost certain; she should have told Danielle straight away. She shouldn't have lied, told her that Andy wanted to be at her side. Really, she was surprised that Danielle had accepted what she had said so easily; what did those words mean, 'you don't need to worry'? They were empty words. Of course Danielle would worry about her father; about where he was, what had happened to him.

"You have done the right thing Ron, don't worry". Roxy continued repeating herself, trying in vein to reassure a vacant Ronnie, who stood staring straight ahead, clearly deep in thought. But Ronnie knew different; the longer she left it, the more Danielle would have to worry about, was what she was thinking. Maybe telling her wouldn't change everything like she had envisioned at first; she would stay right by her side, after all. She would be there for her.

"I don't know" Ronnie said, shaking her head in confusion, her statement an answer to her sister, but not in the sense that Roxy thought. Roxy sighed.

"Look Ronnie, I think you need to get home, get some sleep. Look at you", Roxy waved her arm in the vague direction of Ronnie's face, "You're not going to be thinking straight right now. You haven't slept in days", Roxy rolled her eyes, "Neither have we", she added, with a whisper. Roxy heaved a sniffling Amy onto her opposite shoulder, stretching out her newly freed arm which had been pinned under Amy's body, "When you get back you can have a proper chat with Danielle. She'll have had a good sleep herself, things will be clearer for both of you"

Ronnie nodded, still not quite catching her sister's eye. For now Roxy had taken what Ronnie had said at face value, assuming that Danielle knew what was going on. Ronnie would have to ensure that was how things stayed, stay close by, for the time being at least, "I'm not going anywhere Rox. I just needed to go for a walk, stretch my legs and Danielle needed a bit of a rest, but I'm not leaving the hospital, I can't. Not now", Ronnie paused for a second, "We could both do with a change of clothes though, a few bits and pieces".

Ronnie's tone was hopeful; she was asking a lot of Roxy – she'd stayed all night waiting for news and now Ronnie had been anything but forthcoming, "I'm going to buy her a few bits and pieces from the hospital shop. Magazines, chocolates, you know", Ronnie assured Roxy, who had a cynical look in her eyes, mainly a reaction to Ronnie's refusal to get any sleep, "But maybe you could ask Stace for some of Danielle's clothes? And bring something down for me too. I don't need much, just a quick change?"

Roxy knew she would have to accept that Ronnie was going to remain her stubborn self when it came to looking after Danielle, but still she would try to look after her, "Ron, are you sure you don't want to try and get a little shut eye? You really don't look brilliant", Roxy asked, giving her sister one last shot.

"Oh, thanks a lot Rox, you always were a charmer", Ronnie replied, the sides of her mouth turning up into what could almost constitute a smile, "No, no I'm going to stay here. I'll get some fresh air; get some bits for Danielle at the shop when it's open. I should be getting back to her as soon as possible".

Physically pushing herself to keep her drooping eyes upon, eager to show Roxy that she was awake enough to stay at the hospital, whether she truly was or not, Ronnie took a quick glance at her watch, "It's only a few hours til visiting hours start again anyhow".

"Well, if you're sure", Roxy gave in, perhaps a little more quickly than she should have, holding her free arm out for Ronnie to take in an embrace. As her sister took her arm in reply, she pulled her close and squeezed tight, "But please look after yourself, Ronnie". Pulling back, Roxy kept hold of Ronnie's shoulders and stared her in the eyes, trying to look as serious as possible; she could see they were flitting closed and open over and over, as eyes do when their owner is trying to force themselves to stay awake, usually on a late night, "Danielle needs you to be strong. Especially now, you know… just don't push yourself too far, Ron, please", Roxy smiled cheekily, "Even you're not superwoman".

"I know what I'm doing Roxy", Ronnie stated, shaking her shoulders ever so slightly to free them from Roxy's grip, her shield immediately flying back up around her body at the thought of her own health. Danielle was all she was worried about, and now it was even more pointed that she stayed by Danielle's side. "I'm sure you do", Roxy replied quickly, starting to find Ronnie's shortness tiresome, "I'm just worried about you. Both of you"

"You don't need to worry about me", Ronnie promised, loosening up a little, "The only person we need to worry about at the moment is Danielle. And right now, she needs me here. But she needs a change of clothes as well, and so do I". Ronnie smiled, "You don't mind do you?"

"Oh, of course I don't mind", Roxy sighed, but returned Ronnie's smile, pleased to see her sister opening up, even if not wholly truthfully, "Anything for my big sis", she winked, playfully hitting Ronnie's arm. Roxy waited for a reply from Ronnie, but none came, "Well, this is new", she ventured, "Roxy and Ronnie, being nice to each other, we should alert the media".

"Well, you know what they say, Rox. Desperate measures, and all that", Ronnie replied.


	48. Chapter 48

Opening the boot of her car, Roxy picked up a large bag full of Ronnie and Danielle's belongings that lay on the roadside outside the Vic and dumped them into the open space, slamming the door shut behind them. She had followed Ronnie's order to leave her at the hospital, and, despite initial reservations that Ronnie was far too tired to be of any help to Danielle, was pleased to have had the chance to get some sleep herself, and put an increasingly irritated Amy down for her own nap. Now, a few hours later, both were rejuvenated; Roxy was ready to return to the hospital, having visited Stacey on a quest to find some clothes for Danielle and a much happier Amy had been left with Jack for the day.

Roxy had been a little reluctant to go over to the Slater's, especially at the antisocial hour she needed to visit, but knowing there was little else she could do to really help Ronnie, she had managed to get hold of a few of Danielle's favourite outfits, according to Stacey's best judgement. Roxy wasn't sure what it was about this particular situation that made her long to do the right thing by Ronnie, but somehow the urge to be supportive of her sister was stronger than ever. Roxy wondered whether it was the added worry of being supportive to her niece that pushed her on; the thought that now she had someone else that mattered, someone else to look out for. Whatever it was, she smiled as she walked around to the driver's door of the car –here was her chance to prove that she could do something right, for once in her life.

Jumping into the driver's seat, Roxy put the key into the ignition and starting the engine, pulled away from the Vic, hoping that when she arrived at the hospital she would find Ronnie in a slightly better state than when she left, and more to the point, that she might finally get to see Danielle. She still knew very little of Danielle's condition – Ronnie had shared almost nothing with her – and was yet to be allowed upstairs to see her niece. Roxy had been quite pleased about this to start with, feeling apprehensive about this new relationship she would have to forge. It was easier for Ronnie; she had waited and longed for a child in the form of Danielle all of her life - strange to think, Roxy reflected, but true. But now Roxy really couldn't wait to see Danielle, to make sure that she was ok, to help Ronnie build a relationship with Danielle in any way she could. She just hoped she would be able to do the right thing.

Placing the basket she had in her hand onto the floor, Ronnie began to rifle through the array of magazines on the shelf in the hospital shop. Sighing, she turned furtively through the opening pages of her first choice; it was full of real life stories, make up, pictures of half naked, semi-famous men. Would Danielle really want to read this, Ronnie wondered? Was it too young for her? Was Danielle past this kind of thing? She was still a teenage girl, after all, Ronnie thought. Ronnie's brow furrowed as she began to flick through a second magazine. She had no idea which she should buy. Something as simple as choosing reading material and Ronnie knew she fell short.

What would she have chosen at Danielle's age, she reflected, casting her mind back to the girl she had been at 19 – a shell of a person, she remembered, sighing heavily. Ronnie desperately wished she knew the right thing to do, the right magazine to buy, but that was not a memory she wanted to unearth, not a time she was proud of. Danielle had been under her nose for months, and even though she hadn't paid any real attention to the girl, she had seen that she was a mature, kind, well-mannered teenager. Completely different to how Ronnie remembered herself.

Ronnie had never been proud of herself; she had never done anything truly worthwhile. Ever since getting pregnant she had done nothing of the sort. Yes, she had brought a child into the world, apparently the most special thing a person can do, but even that act had been marred, taken away from her. Amy was not her child, she never had been. But Danielle was.

Closing the second magazine's cover with a snap, she placed them both back onto the shelf hurriedly, turning her back on them. Picking up her basket from the floor again and making her way towards the counter, she surveyed its contents, wondering the same thing about everything she had chosen to buy for Danielle. Would she want to eat the food? Drink the drinks? Ronnie knew there was nothing she could do but try and get things right, but she wanted so much to be everything Danielle needed; to do everything exactly right. Yet here she was, trying to fulfil one of the most simple of motherly duties, providing for her child, and she couldn't even do that properly.

The shop's middle-aged, almost completely grey haired cashier gave Ronnie a kindly smile as she dumped the basket clumsily back onto the floor, placing each of the items she had chosen onto the counter. Ronnie began to fumble in her pocket for her wallet, thinking for one awful moment that she had left her purse at home, or upstairs, in Danielle's room; another mistake."That's three pounds and forty pence, please, madam", the cashier asked, still smiling, trying but failing to catch Ronnie's eye.

"Great weather for it", she added, eyeing the window, through which droplets of rain water could be seen dripping from top to bottom. "I wouldn't know", Ronnie replied, shortly, her fingers finally running across the welcoming texture of leather material. Pulling it out she said a quiet thank you and began rooting around inside for the money that she needed. "Right. No, of course, sorry madam", the woman replied, tripping over her words, cursing herself for saying the wrong thing again.

Ronnie looked up at the woman, hearing the waver in her voice, "Its ok. Not your fault", she said, taking her shopping for the counter, which the cashier had carefully packed into a plastic bag, and placing her money down in return. "Not your fault", she repeated to herself under her breath, clutching her purchases close to her body as she exited the shop.

Taking a glance at her watch, Ronnie suddenly noticed the time, how late it was. She had been in the shop for almost 45 minutes and had bought only three items; a sandwich, a chocolate bar and a bottle of orange juice. However, one good thing had come from her confusion, those time-consuming decisions, Ronnie realised; she had forgotten, for some time at least, the huge burden that hung over her head. Those things that remained unsaid.

Shaking her head, she turned in the direction of the stairs, hoping that Danielle would like what she brought her and wondering whether now the time would be right, whether the time would ever be right.

The light flashing on the wall of Roxy 's lift read '4', indicating that she had arrived on Danielle's floor and so she tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the doors to open. As they did, she leant over to pick up the bag she had brought full of clothes for Ronnie and Danielle, having to poke a stray sleeve back through the zip as she swung it up onto her shoulder. Roxy made her way to the nurse's station opposite the lift doors, "Roxy Mitchell, I'm here to see Danielle Jones", she stated as she arrived, smiling at the nurse who was swinging in her chair as she wrote something down on a piece of paper, "I've brought some stuff for her", she said, gesturing to the bag as she dropped it to the floor, too heavy to carry.

"Are you a relative madam?" the nurse asked, looking up from her paperwork. "Yes", Roxy nodded, "I'm her aunty". The nurse stood up, looking at her watch, "Well, Danielle's still sleeping, Miss Mitchell. But I'm sure she won't mind some company when she wakes up".

"My sister's not with her?", Roxy asked, evidently surprised. She had expected Ronnie to rush straight back to Danielle's side. Where was she? What was she doing? Surely….no, surely not, Roxy thought, visibly shaking her head.

"No madam, your sister….Miss Mitchell left Danielle alone a while ago so she could get some rest. As far as I'm aware she hasn't been back", the nurse could see the confusion in Roxy's eyes, "Like I said, I'm sure Danielle won't mind if you're there when she wakes up again. You're quite welcome to see her now, visiting hours are just starting".

Roxy nodded, worriedly; she was wary of seeing Danielle without Ronnie. This was such a strange situation. Ronnie had a daughter. Danielle was Ronnie's daughter. How long had Ronnie even spent with her so far? It hardly seemed right that she should be spending time alone with Danielle so soon. But Danielle was her niece as well as Ronnie's daughter. She was her flesh and blood, her family as well, and family was everything.

"Well, if everything's ok, Danielle's just this way", the nurse said, having to wave her hand in front of Roxy's eyes to cat catch her attention again. "Oh yes, of course. Thanks", Roxy said, jumping. Picking up the bag from the floor again, she heaved in onto her shoulder and followed the nurse along the corridor, dragging her feet but knowing that eventually she would have to face her new niece.


	49. Chapter 49

Roxy stood, peering apprehensively through the crack in the door to Danielle's room; as the nurse pushed the door fully open in front of her to reveal a sleeping Danielle, she put her finger to her lips hastily, indicating that Roxy should be quiet, "Just call if Danielle needs anything, if you need any help. My name's Charlotte", she told Roxy. Holding the door back so she could enter, the nurse gave Roxy an encouraging smile, before leaving her alone with her niece. As the door shut behind them, Roxy noticed how quiet the room was, how far away it seemed to be from the busy ward on just the other side of the wall. Like a peaceful haven of calm; Roxy couldn't help but wonder how long it would stay like this.

Danielle was sleeping soundly, the room still shrouded in darkness, despite it now being morning. A small, strip window above Danielle's resting head let in minimal shards of light, but blinds were still drawn at the wall, so Roxy could no longer see out into the corridor. A slightly strange, eerie feeling surrounded the room; Roxy didn't know whether it was the room's curious state of darkness or simply Danielle's presence that was putting her on edge. Either way, she made her way to the blinds, having dropped her bag in the chair next to the bed, and began to twist them open, trying to avoid making any noise.

Glancing over her shoulder at Danielle, she winced as the plastic blinds creaked in the window frame and the figure upon the bed twisted in time with them, but to Roxy's relief, Danielle did not wake. Instead, she let out a small groan, breathing in and out heavily again, clearly still deeply entranced in sleep. Now the blinds were open Roxy could make out the empty corridor she had just walked along – peering out as far as she could, she wondered again where on earth Ronnie had disappeared to. Why wasn't Ronnie sat at Danielle's side?

She had been away for hours, Roxy thought, had time to rest. Where could Ronnie have gone? She needed fresh air so had probably gone for a walk; that was clear. But now, hours later, where could she possibly be? Roxy hadn't bothered to call ahead because she'd been almost certain that Ronnie wouldn't leave Danielle's side any longer than completely necessary. Now Roxy felt like she couldn't leave the room herself, even for a moment to make that phone call. While Danielle slept she seemed so vulnerable, looked so young and her sleeping figure had an odd effect on Roxy - she felt compelled to be protective. Besides, Danielle would want someone there when she woke up.

But it wasn't her that Danielle would want, Roxy knew that; she meant very little at this stage, almost nothing. They shared a name at most, a few a letters on a piece of paper. Not even that. No, Danielle would want her mum. Or her dad.

Sniffing and exhaling into her hand, still trying to avoid waking her niece, the thought of how much the girl lain in front of her had lost running across her mind, Roxy moved to perch next to Danielle's bed. She had lost her father in the last few days as well. He hadn't died, of course, although part of her wished he was dead. But now Danielle was all Ronnie's, Ronnie's child. She was a Mitchell, and Roxy would be there, if she could. Waking up to someone was better than waking up to no-one, whoever that person was, Roxy told herself. Especially now that Danielle knew that her father had gone.

Reaching slowly, nervously, towards the pale face that peeked out just inches from under the duvet, Roxy let her finger stroke Danielle's forehead ever so gently. Roxy wanted to do things right, to be there for Ronnie and now for Danielle, but she also knew her own track record. She knew she had a tendency to mess things up. She needed guidance, she needed help, she needed Ronnie. But this time things were different, the usual situation had turned on its head. This time Ronnie needed her, Ronnie needed Roxy.

What did Ronnie mean to Danielle right now, Roxy thought, as her hand brushed away the residual tears that lingered on Danielle's tear-stained cheek? Clearly, even if she wasn't there at that very second, Danielle meant everything to Ronnie; Amy, her little baby daughter, had always been everything to her sister, however estranged. But would Danielle feel the same, did she want Ronnie as much as she wanted Danielle? Roxy only hoped the answer was yes.

Suddenly Roxy felt Danielle stir under the weight of the hand upon her cheek. Quickly she pulled away, but if her aim had been to comfort Danielle as she slept, she had failed, because her niece's blue eyes began to flutter open, turning to stare in Roxy's direction as she realised that someone was there. Roxy was sure she could see disappoint in those eyes as they locked onto hers, and that disappointment was mirrored in Danielle's voice as she spoke, "Roxy?", she exclaimed, forcing a watery smile.

"Yeah love, it's me", Roxy replied, disappointed even in herself for not being the person Danielle really wanted to see. Edging slightly along the bed away from Danielle, almost blindly, words rolled mindlessly out of her mouth, "I brought you some stuff. Stacey gave me some bits – wasn't happy I got her out of bed, mind. You owe me for that! She said she didn't have much left after you left with your dad, though, but there are a few things in here". Shocked at herself for mentioning Danielle's father already, Roxy used an ideal excuse to get up from the bed, moving hurriedly to pick up the holdall she had brought from the chair, placing it on the bed, a barrier between herself and her niece. Suddenly, awake, Danielle seemed so much more vulnerable – Roxy never thought it possible, but in this waking state she knew she could say or do anything wrong. She already had.

"Thanks", Danielle said, not really watching as Roxy began to fish her belongings from the bag. Placing them at the end of the bed in a pile, Roxy indicated the items she had brought, hoping this would provide them with something to talk about; that somehow she could wash over her mention of Danielle's father and the blindingly obvious absence of Ronnie, "Here's your bits. I'll leave them over here, shall I?".

Danielle smiled, "Maybe you should leave them in the bag", she said, not expecting Roxy's face to fall as it did, "If you want to. You don't have to. It's ok", Danielle chipped in, worried she had already said something wrong. "No, you're right", Roxy admitted, trying to stuff the clothes back into the holdall but not quite managing to fit them around the clothing she had packed for Ronnie. Danielle, seeing that Roxy was having trouble, pulled herself up in the bed and leaned over to the bag, "Here, let me", she said, taking the top item from Roxy's hand and re-folding it, before placing in neatly into the zip opening.

"I should probably leave you to it, shouldn't I?", Roxy laughed, watching her niece folding the items carefully, one at a time, and packing them back into the bag, "You look just like….", Roxy said, before stopping herself suddenly. "Like who?", Danielle asked. She knew the answer to her question, almost certainly, but she wanted to here it from Roxy. That she was like Ronnie, that they had something in common. "Oh, no-one important", Roxy said, cursing herself again.

"Like Ronnie" Danielle said quietly to herself, although Roxy could hear. Her eyes were now firmly fixed on her task of moving items of clothing from bed to bag; she would not let herself catch Roxy's eyes. Partly, she didn't want to show her how disappointed she was that it was Roxy she had woken up to and not Ronnie, unaware that she had already done so. But, more than anything, she did not want to show Roxy how scared she was that Ronnie might never come back.


	50. Chapter 50

Roxy watched, biting her nails and rubbing her palms together awkwardly, as Danielle continued moving the clothes she had just piled onto the bed back into the holdall that lay in front of them. Danielle's eyes were obviously trained on her hands, as if she was forcing them, against their will, not to look upwards towards where Roxy now stood. The task seemed so pointless to Roxy that she wondered whether Danielle was doing it just to avoid looking at her or talking to her properly. Roxy was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, out of place, and she began to back subconsciously into the corner of the room, as if this were an automatic reaction. She wondered whether she should leave Danielle alone now that she had delivered her belongings; it certainly seemed as though her niece had better things to do than try and make small talk.

Shaking her head, she resolved that she should wait for Ronnie, however uneasy Danielle seemed. She always knew how to say the wrong thing, how to arrive in the wrong place at the wrong time, Roxy sighed, but that shouldn't stop her trying to help. But why had she brought up Ronnie, Roxy mulled? In fact, how had she managed to mention both Ronnie and Danielle's father in the space of five minutes? In fact, Roxy had been surprised at Danielle's lack of reaction to the mention of her late father; but, perhaps she hadn't heard properly, she had just been waking up, after all, or perhaps had simply chosen to ignore Roxy's statement. And where the hell was Ronnie, she thought, rolling her eyes, before trying to catch another glance out into the corridor, which as far as she could see, remained empty.

Zipping the bag closed again as she finished her task, Danielle winced as she leant forward to pick it up to put on the floor. Jumping at the pained expression on Danielle's face, Roxy ran forward to the bed and took the bag from Danielle's hands. "Come 'ere", Roxy smiled, dropping the bag back onto the chair, "Are you ok? Do you need something for the pain? I can get something for you" she asked, concerned.

"No, I'm fine" Danielle replied, "Really, I am. I just need to get some more rest". Danielle lay back against her pillows and scrunched her good leg as close to her body as she could, leaving the other extended along the length of the bed. "Are you sure, Danielle love. That look doesn't say 'fine' to me", Roxy spoke with an air of sarcasm which she couldn't help but use, her tendency to put foot in mouth a little too difficult to control completely, despite the tense circumstances. Choosing not to respond to Roxy's tone, Danielle changed the subject quickly, "How's Amy", she asked, realising that she would have to say something to Roxy, glad that at least Amy provided some common ground to start a conversation from - Danielle couldn't help but smile when she thought about Amy, how she might really be able to be a proper cousin to her now the truth was out.

Roxy was pleased that Danielle seemed comfortable enough to change the subject, and despite being worried that she probably did need some more pain medication, Roxy never gave up a chance to talk about her little girl, "Amy's doing great", she cooed, "She's been downstairs waiting to see you, but I had to take her home for a little rest. Little devil was screaming the odds by the time I got her back to Walford. Good luck Jack is all I can say". Roxy smiled widely, picking at her nails a little less as she relaxed into her seat, continuing on to tell about a tooth that was coming through, and about how Amy had lost one of her favourite toys a couple of days earlier, by throwing it clean out of her cot.

As Roxy spoke freely about Amy, Danielle began to feel a little more comfortable around her aunt; she'd been wary of her presence to begin with, unsure exactly what she knew about her accident, and about the things that had been said between herself and Ronnie, whether she had seen Ronnie at all, in actual fact. But now, listening to her speak, and seeing the awkward look that had been evident on her face when she arrived disappearing with her mindless chatter, Danielle began to feel as though she might be able to open up a little herself. At least, that she might allow Roxy a smile, a laugh here or there. The Mitchell sister who she really wanted to see still was not in the room, but for now, at least someone was there; someone who seemed, in some manner in any case, to care about what happened to her.

Turning slightly towards Roxy in the bed, Danielle winced again as the pain in her leg began to get increasingly more acute. The drip above her head which had been slowly emptying into her body now hung limp, bereft of fluid, "Look Dan, I'm going to as a nurse to get you something. No arguments", Roxy stated, standing up from her chair and making her way to the door, "I know you probably don't want to talk to me or anything, but I'm going to make sure they stitch you up properly while I'm here, alright?".

With that, Roxy exited the room, closing the door behind her with a slight bang. She was quite right, Danielle thought, she really didn't want to talk to Roxy; right at that moment she wished everything would just blow over, that she would never have to have these important meetings and discussions. What would happen when she left hospital? Where would she go? Danielle couldn't imagine the fuss that would be made when she returned to Walford, didn't want to have to think about the choice she still had to make between Andy and Ronnie.

And where was her dad? Ronnie had said very little when she asked, just that her dad 'loved' her, yet still the nurse's had told her nothing. Did Ronnie still resent him that much? Was she trying to keep them apart? At that moment, Roxy and a nurse came bumbling back into the room before Danielle had the chance to pursue that thought any further, "Good morning Danielle love", the nurse said, "My name's Charlotte, you were asleep when I came on duty last night". She smiled as she began to peel back the bed clothes, attending to the dressings on Danielle's leg. Roxy, feeling squeamish even at the sight of the dressings on Danielle's skin, hovered close to the doorway, holding her hand to her mouth, "Roxy here says you're in need of some more pain medication. How is it feeling this morning?"

"A little better, but still sore", Danielle grimaced as the dressings were peeled back to reveal a long, thin wound that had been repaired during her operation. "I'm going to replace these for you now, and then get you something for that pain", she told Danielle, grinning at the sight of Roxy cowering in the corner, trying to look anywhere but at Danielle's leg. Returning the bedclothes over Danielle's body, Charlotte turned to leave the room, "Please, can I ask you something?", Danielle called after her, "It's just, it's about my dad, I…"

Hearing Danielle mention her father, Roxy's eyes suddenly sprang back in the direction of her niece; she said nothing, but simply watched, her mouth open in surprise as Danielle proceeded to ask the nurse where her father was.


	51. Chapter 51

**Hello all. Thanks to you all for your continued support with reviews. Much appreciated.**

**This is just a quick message to apologise for the lack of updates over the last week and, most likely, for the next month or so. I have been away on holiday and as from Tuesday, will be away again until at least August 25th. Hopefully I will be able to get some time to myself to write and upload, but I will be a busy bunny, so you will have to be patient! **

**I'll try to get another chapter or two (if you're lucky) up before I leave. Thanks again to all readers and reviewers. I do hope you still enjoy what you're reading.**

**Rachel x**

x X x

Ronnie skipped, rather than ran, anxious to stay upright on her unsteady feet, along the corridor towards Danielle's room, tripping over her own body in a hurry to make up time. She still clutched the plastic carrier bag she had acquired from the hospital shop close to her body, worried she might drop it or a hole might develop in it's bottom, since now it was full to bursting; a confused Ronnie had decided, in a split second decision, to return to the shop and buy both of the magazines she had been perusing earlier. But now, realising that it was 11:00am and she had missed almost a whole hour of precious visiting time, she was eager to make her way hastily back to Danielle's side.

Now she had the door in sight, having been pointed in the right direction by a young girl at the nurse's station, she slowed to a walking pace, her eyes flitting from door to window in an attempt to see what was happening inside the room. Even though she hadn't received a message from Roxy, Ronnie guessed that she would have arrived back already and she wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. Of course, it was good for Danielle to have someone at her side if she couldn't be there, especially a Mitchell, and Ronnie was sure Roxy would try to be careful with Danielle; in fact, she would probably find the situation altogether too awkward to say much of importance at all. Roxy was rarely quiet, of course, but in these situations she usually just blabbered like an idiot. But that was the problem, Ronnie thought, quickening her pace again as she considered the plethora of things Roxy could have done or said to Danielle in the short time she'd been away.

Sure enough, as Ronnie arrived at the room the sight of blonde hair behind the window met her eyes before they continued swiftly to the bed, to Danielle. There lay her daughter, her own eyes set fast on a nurse who stood in the corner of the room. The three women were talking animatedly about something, but Ronnie could not for the life of her tell what. Ronnie held her hand to the door handle, about to push it open, but feeling suddenly very absent, detached from the whole situation, she moved her hand into a fist, ready to knock. She had planned to burst in, explain her extended absence to Danielle the quickest way possible before taking her into her arms in a warm embrace, letting her know that she was back for good. But now she could see Danielle she was scared. Scared 'bursting in' would be too much; scared that she might scare Danielle away again.

So she knocked once and she knocked twice, the door opening in the next second as if in reply. "Ronnie", Roxy said, a waver in her voice as she greeted her sister at the door, "finally", she added under her breath, her wide eyes avoiding Ronnie's, but fixing immediately back on the nurse in the room.

"Danielle, I'm so sorry I'm so late", Ronnie gushed, "it was these magazines", she said, producing a pile of reading material from the plastic carrier bag, "I just didn't know which…."

Met with silence, and three pairs of eyes avoiding hers, Ronnie realised that something was wrong. She stopped speaking abruptly, her eyes narrowing as they moved enquiringly from the nurse, who had backed into the corner of the room on her arrival, and Danielle, whose pained look filled her with apprehension and doubt, "What? Danielle. What's going on?", Ronnie asked, worried that she was just a few minutes too late, that something had gone very wrong.

Moving extremely cautiously through the threshold and closer to Danielle's side, Ronnie spoke just as carefully as she moved, "Please, Dan, what's happening?" She had no idea what was going on, but the sickening realisation that the worst may well have happened began to fill Ronnie's body and mind, the painful worry almost crippling as she leant her weight gently on the end of Danielle's bed, "Please, Dan", she begged, starting to sound as desperate as she felt, as Danielle's body retreated almost into itself, edging further and further away as Ronnie approached, her voice saying nothing.

"Please", Ronnie used the simple word as a question, "Please, tell me what's wrong". Ronnie held out her hand to touch Danielle's good leg, but she pulled it away.

"Were you ever going to tell me?", Danielle asked in a hushed tone, her words cutting life a knife through each and every other person in the room. "I, I don't….", Ronnie started, the option of playing innocent seeming the best idea open to her at first, but seeing the look on Danielle's face she changed tack, her face falling, "I'm so sorry Danielle. I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you now".

"No you weren't", Danielle replied immediately, "you haven't. You weren't going to", she sniffed.

"Danielle, I was. I was waiting for the right time, I"

"Don't lie to me, Ronnie. Not now", Danielle looked at Ronnie in the eye now, "What were the magazines for? A bit of light entertainment before you sat me down for the 'chat'? Of course you weren't going to tell me", her voice, albeit quiet, was seething, angry, it sounded as desperate as Ronnie felt.

"I was going to tell you Danielle, you have to believe me", Ronnie pleaded with Danielle, the tentative thread of a relationship she had begun to build with Danielle breaking before her eyes. She could see the thread in her mind's eye, a pair of scissors hovering perilously close to it, but gripped tightly in her own hands. Her hand suddenly slammed closed, the thread's two parts falling away, lost and broken on the floor.

"You lied to me Ronnie, you told me he was 'happy', that he was 'ok'. But he isn't 'happy', is he?", Danielle looked away from Ronnie, unable to look at her any longer, "How could he be 'happy'? He's dead. Dead", Danielle finished her sentence with a whimper, but no tears. Her steely eyed expression caught Ronnie's eyes again as she finished, "I want you to leave, please, just go".


	52. Chapter 52

Danielle studied Ronnie's face closely, the face of a broken woman, standing shaking in front of her as she delivered the fateful words, "get out"; the crevices of her brow creasing up in pain, her eyes widening with fear and anguish. As Danielle finished her short speech, she stared straight into Ronnie's eyes, into the eyes of her mother. Her mother.

The word 'mother' should have meant so much, but now Danielle tossed it over and over in her head it caused her nothing but pain. For years she'd had a 'mother', a real mother, who had loved and cared for her as best a woman could; bathed her, clothed her, dressed her knee when she fell and grazed it in the school playground – not once, but many times, again and again she had helped her to her feet and set her straight. She had done everything she could, and for years she had been everything Danielle could ever have needed. But then suddenly she was there no longer. She was gone, and the position of 'mother' for Danielle was vacant once again.

There had only been a few short minutes in Danielle's life when she had had no 'mother'; those fleeting seconds between being taken from a devastated Ronnie's arms and being placed in the open arms of her adoptive mother. Danielle had, of course, been too young to know anything of what was happening the first time around, but when everything she had ever known as 'mother' was taken so cruelly away, she was most certainly old enough to understand grief. To understand what it felt like for something so special to be taken away. For your 'mother' to be taken away.

Now, staring straight into Ronnie's wide, pleading eyes, she felt that feeling again; she hated herself for it, for having seemingly replaced the woman who had been there for so many years with the woman in front of her. But she could not help it. Ronnie had become so important to her in the last few months, even more so in the last few days, but Danielle had known that opening herself up to this feeling, to this 'love' of a mother, would only mean trouble. And she had been right. Ronnie had betrayed her. The fact that she loved her more than anyone she could remember – perhaps even more than she had ever loved her adoptive mother - made this so much more difficult. But she had to do it; she had to send Ronnie away. She could never see her again, not after this.

Ronnie was speaking now, saying something that Danielle would not listen to. She would not let herself care about what Ronnie had to say. It had been mere seconds since the nurse had revealed that her father had died, albeit reluctantly; Roxy had not been surprised, so she must have known. Everybody knew, yet Ronnie had not thought to tell her. She'd thought about number one, about herself, like she always had and always would. Danielle could not bear to look at Ronnie any longer; she could not look at this figure of a 'mother' looming over her like a bad dream. Now she had no father, but she had no mother either. They had died together.

Danielle surveyed Ronnie's face one last time, certain this would be the last opportunity she would give herself, before turning away, twisting her body pointedly away from Ronnie and clutching her good knee to her chest, hugging it as close as she could manage. Her fingers, bundled into fists, grabbed her leg so tightly that they would leave a red indent where they had been when she eventually took them away. Closing her eyes, she tried to block out all of the sound in the room she could manage, closing off all of her senses. Danielle hoped that sleep would swallow her up, but she knew that with the continuous clamour of Ronnie's pleas filling the room now, and no doubt, ringing in her ears if and when she ever left, she would not sleep for a very long time.

Now Danielle could hear someone else's voice, not Roxy's, so by process of elimination, the nurses', Danielle assumed. It was a welcome rest from hearing Ronnie's drone of pleading banalities, Danielle thought, allowing herself to listen to what was being said. To her relief, it seemed as though she was asking everyone to leave, finally.

"Please, I think maybe this would be a good time to let Danielle get some rest", the nurse was trying to sound authoritative, but apparently failing. She wanted to be able to make everything better, to help heal this broken family like she could help to heal Danielle's broken leg. But, confronted with a distressed mother and a grieving teenager, she felt helpless.

"Please, Danielle really needs to get some rest", she said, holding her hand out to Ronnie, who shook of her approach. She pleaded under her breath, addressing her words to Ronnie only, "Look, Danielle is still in a lot of pain. We need to respect her wishes. Come on, please"

Ronnie span her head towards the nurse, opening her mouth in automatic preparation for coming back with a quip in reply, but then she remembered where she was. That she needed to put Danielle first. If this was what Danielle wanted then maybe the nurse was right, she had to respect her wishes. She was not a child any more. And maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe Danielle just needed time. Reluctantly, Ronnie nodded in reply instead, standing slowly to her feet, picking up the plastic carrier bag she had brought for Danielle and placing it on the end of the bed, before making her way towards the door.

Passing Roxy, Ronnie shot her a fleeting look, catching her off guard; for the whole of Ronnie and Danielle's emotionally charged exchange she had stood, almost invisibly, in the corner of the room, wishing that she was somewhere else. Unsure what to make of Ronnie's glance, what exactly it meant, she returned it with what she thought was a supportive smile. Roxy was sure, however, that Ronnie would not construe it that way. That after this she would be able to do nothing right.


	53. Chapter 53

**Hello everybody! Sorry its been weeks and weeks since I last updated – I've been at the Edinburgh Festival for three weeks, but now I'm on the train home (free wifi, yay) so another chapter is coming your way. I have another couple of busy weeks coming up as I prepare to go travelling but I'll try and keep updating fairly regularly and then frequency should get back to normal after I get internet in my new flat out there! **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. I wrote it in chunks whenever I could get computer access so I hope it is ok for y'all! **

**X x x**

Danielle made sure to stare intently at the bed clothes, rubbing her hands together and against her face angrily, her eyes wide, until the door was firmly shut behind Roxy and Ronnie; the nurse closed the door carefully, not wanting it to slam, although a slam, she thought, might have been appropriate. The nurse, in turn, stared towards it instead of straight at Danielle, the tension in the room unbearable. Trying to gauge what to do or say once the door was closed, whether to say anything at all, she left a few seconds for Danielle to speak, but when no words came, she moved closer to her patient of her own accord, taking the utmost care with every step she made.

Danielle kept her head down as she stared, not allowing herself to look up at the window, the curtains drawn back, towards where her mother and aunt had just exited, but also reluctant to begin a conversation with the strange woman who had stayed rudely in the room. Through the window, Roxy and Ronnie's figures could be seen still standing in the corridor; they were talking, arguing, and Danielle could not bear to see them there, to see them fighting again, fighting over her.

She was so angry with them both - with Roxy even – for leaving her out again, keeping from her something which, essentially, was knowledge for her and only her. They had kept this poisonous secret from her like she was the odd one out, like she didn't deserve to know; she was so worthless that she didn't even deserve to know that her own father was dead, like she was too weak to take the news. Danielle wasn't weak, she told herself over and over. She was just unlucky, in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had the wrong family; the wrong father, the wrong mother.

No father. No mother.

Danielle could tell that the nurse was staring at her head on now, and that she had come to perch on the end of her bed, so instead of opening herself up for conversation she turned her body away, trying to make her body language as closed off as possible. She knew this wasn't the right thing to do, the sensible thing; that turning away from someone trying to help would probably make things worse in the long run, but she could not help it. This woman, Danielle knew, could not put her relationship with Ronnie back together, so what would be the point? She didn't want to know Ronnie any more anyway. Danielle had been put in this position through the careless mistakes of her own family, and this nurse could not take that away. She just couldn't.

Edging closer along the bed slowly the nurse finally spoke, "Do you need to talk about this Danielle", she asked carefully, "Maybe talking to someone would help. Help put things into perspective. I'm sure your mu…"

"No, I don't", Danielle jumped in, replying quickly before she had the chance to mention Ronnie's name or speak the word mum, "I don't need to speak to anyone, especially not them", she sniffed, "I just want to be left alone".

Roxy and Ronnie were still outside, their voices raised now, "Can you ask them to leave?", Danielle asked quietly, through tears that had begun to fall slowly, "I really don't want them to be here".

"I can", Charlotte replied, "but I really think that it might be best for you to talk things through with…"

"I said no. I can't. Not now", Danielle shook her head vigorously, perhaps a little more forcefully than she had intended. Beginning to feel light-headed, she committed her head back against the pillow behind her, not sure how else to make it clear that speaking to Ronnie was the last thing she wanted to do. Even being able to see her talking to Roxy outside the room was too much.

She had been in this position so many times – it was so clichéd, but she really was so close to the real love of a mother, but yet so far. That was the extent of her life with Ronnie – an endless list of clichés, and that simply was not enough. Not enough to constitute a real relationship; it was not enough for Ronnie to say these things - yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir – but show no evidence, to say one thing yet do the very opposite of those words. That wasn't enough; in fact, that was so much less than enough it made Danielle feel physically sick.

"If you're sure", Charlotte answered half heartedly, watching Danielle's eyes as she clearly thought about the decision she was making, "If you're really sure I can ask them to leave, but I can't promise they won't try and come back".

"If they do I want you to send them away", Danielle retorted, "Please", she added.

"Well ok Dan, if you're sure this is what you want. Is there anyone else I can contact for you? Anyone you want to see?"

Danielle thought carefully about the question she had just been asked. Had this been days, hours, even minutes earlier she would have had a list; her father, Stacey, maybe Ronnie and perhaps even Roxy. But now who did she have? Who were her real friends? Stacey had visited, yes, but she was busy with the stall and Danielle really didn't want to bother her. She was always such a bother, such a time consuming bother.

"No, I'll be fine, I don't need anyone", she decided to reply eventually. "You're sure there's no-one?", Charlotte asked as she made her way to the door. "I'll be fine for now, I really just want to be on my own", Danielle assured her, curling up into a ball and closing her eyes to the world as Charlotte opened the door to reveal angry voices filling the corridor.


	54. Chapter 54

**So, it's been about ten year since I last updated – big apologies again, I hope you haven't forgotten me! I got a new laptop for my birthday, but that broke after 2 days so I've been waiting for a new one! Here you are anyway, I hope you enjoy**. **Feedback appreciated as ever.**

x x x

Minutes earlier, before she had returned to see Danielle, something as simple as the reading material for her hospital room had been ticking over in Ronnie's mind like it was a matter of life or death, something that she simply had to do right. She wanted to do everything right, after all; even the smallest of things. But, from the moment she had realised that something was wrong with her daughter, that something had happened while she'd been away, Ronnie knew she would curse herself endlessly for spending those extra few minutes thinking about something as trivial as which magazine to buy for her daughter. Ronnie had resolved that without the small, seemingly insignificant things - the magazines and the chocolate - that being at Danielle's side, the big things, would not mean anything at all. But now she knew she had been wrong – being at Danielle's side was all that really mattered. She had left at the most important time and now she might never be allowed back.

Still, Ronnie knew she must leave the room, even if reluctantly, granting her daughter's wish to be alone; as she followed Roxy into the corridor she crossed to the opposite wall and lay her head upon it. Taking her right fist, she hit the wall with such irritation that her hand was left with a bright red imprint from the obstruction it had collided with; in an attempt to calm her sister down, Roxy took her shoulders and turned them towards her. Ronnie, however, shook at Roxy's hands, pulling her body away and slumping into a chair below. Feeling Roxy's hands on her shoulders made Ronnie shake with anger; this was down to Roxy, it must have been, a writhing Ronnie thought to herself.

As the realisation of what must have happened dawned upon her, Ronnie knew that her sister had gone too far this time. This wasn't really her fault, it was Roxy's – she had opened her big mouth again. But why did everything always have to be about Roxy, Ronnie questioned, feeling increasingly disgusted as Roxy took a seat at her side.

"Ronnie, it's…", Roxy began, but she was quickly interrupted, "No Roxy, please. Just don't"

"Come on Ronnie. Let's get some fresh air, yeah. I know I could do with some", Roxy immediately regretted her words as Ronnie sprang to her feet animatedly, "It's not always about you, Rox, you know", Ronnie choked, "How could you do this to us?"

As Ronnie began to throw wild accusations at her indignant younger sister, the uncomfortable sound of raised women's voices resonated along the hospital corridors; the clinical hospital environment - white walls, hushed tones and the smell of disinfectant - only heightening the tension felt by all who could hear Ronnie and Roxy's frank exchange, not least Danielle. Inside her room, as the door was opened and closed by the nurse on call, Danielle inadvertently heard a brief snippet of what was being said outside by a desperate Ronnie, despite her initially steely determination to block everything out. Hearing Ronnie's voice at all made her recoil, but hearing her name spoken again was even more difficult; attempting to force herself not to find the sound wonderful, not to want to hear more, despite Ronnie's strained tone and the subject matter, was so physically exerting for Danielle that it made her shake with torment.

Telling herself she had done the right thing, Danielle let one side of her face sink deep into her pillow. But maybe she had she been wrong to send Ronnie away again. Should she have heard her out? Ronnie wouldn't have reacted this way had she thought about what she actually wanted – that she just wanted to be left in peace - would she, Danielle asked herself? Danielle really didn't want to ask these all-important questions, but somehow they kept themselves lodged at the forefront of her mind. Of course, neither Roxy nor Ronnie's presence outside the room was doing much to help. From her viewpoint, one eye now half open, Danielle could just about make out Ronnie's face; it was a picture of frustration and anger as she was interrupted from her livid flow by the nurse trying to interject with the sparring pair, her eyes alight with fury. Ronnie found it so easy to descend into such anger, Danielle thought, sighing, wishing that it was not her who had caused her mother this rage.

Danielle clamped her eyes shut, a reaction to salty tears which had begun to fall, and prayed that the nurse would manage to get Ronnie and Roxy to take their fight elsewhere. A small part of her wanted to get up and struggle across the room, open the door again and slam it in their faces; make it obvious once and for all that she didn't want to be able to hear or see either sister any longer; that she simply could not take it. But that kind of anger just was not her, that was not the part of Danielle that dominated – she wasn't anything like Ronnie or Roxy, really. Or, like any of the Mitchells, for that matter. In truth, Danielle needed them to leave so she would no longer have to put so much effort into keeping up the pretence of wanting to be alone.

Of course, if she had a choice, she would have all of her family and friends comforting her, telling her that everything would be ok; Ronnie would be holding her hand, pulling her close to her body so that she could breathe in her distinctively 'Ronnie'- like perfume; she'd be able to see her aunt and hold her baby cousin; her adoptive mother, father and brother would be safe and well at her side; Stacey would be there, promising to take her out on the town; even her friends from home would remember to contact her every now and then. If she had the choice, Danielle would have had all of those things, but she knew she could have none of them, not really.

"You're right; it's not about me. This is your mistake, Ronnie", Roxy told her sister outside in the corridor, sounding more vicious that she really intended, but keeping her finger pointing in Ronnie's face, "This is about you; you and your daughter". Roxy stood to her feet, ready to leave a devastated Ronnie behind, furious at the accusations flying in her direction, "She asked us about her dad, Ronnie, but I didn't say anything", Roxy shook her head, "She's not a baby any more, Ron; she has a brain. She needed to know".

"But you didn't stop her, Roxy", Ronnie claimed, waving her hand at the nurse, frantically trying to persuade herself that this was not all her fault, that Danielle was wrong to send her away, "You didn't stop her telling Danielle"

Roxy sighed heavily, her hands flying to her forehead in incredulous fury, "Of course I didn't. I thought she knew. God Ronnie, you should've told her".

Stunned at Roxy's blunt statement, Ronnie's breath hitched as her feet crumbled beneath her and she lost her balance, falling back into the seat she had jumped up from. Still shaking her head, Roxy turned and walked away from Ronnie, who could do nothing but watch as she left, her final words playing over and over in her head like a broken record, 'you should've told her'.

One eye still on the scene outside the room, Danielle felt sick that Ronnie and Roxy were fighting over her, but most of all she felt guilty - she didn't know what Ronnie was saying, what she was actually accusing Roxy of doing, but she couldn't help but think that fundamentally it was her fault. Of course she wanted, needed, to blame Ronnie for this – she had, after all, done something wrong, keeping such an important truth from her. But, as she caught Ronnie looking in her direction for a mere second, her breath suddenly hitching as she rubbed her hands into her eyes and stumbled over on her unsteady feet, Danielle was sure she could see in them a glimpse of trepidation, a hint of fear – something she had only seen in Ronnie's eyes once before. A tear fell from Danielle's eyes onto the already moist pillow below, as she instinctively mirrored Ronnie in covering her own eyes.


End file.
